Mama in distress😪

My ocd is ruining my relationship with my kids. Because of the intrusive thoughts I avoid being close to them, hugging or cuddling up to watch tv. My ocd is either telling me I wouldn’t care if harm came to them or it turns everything into something sexual or inappropriate. For example, my daughter wanted to show me how long her nails are so she started scratching my arm gently. It felt so nice and relaxing and I immediately panicked because I was scared the ocd would cause a groinal and I don’t ever, ever want a feeling like that connected with my child even though I know it’s the ocd causing it and not me i’d still feel horrible. I just want to be a normal loving affectionate mom and I can never be that for my kids because of ocd😪 I don’t see any other parents posting about going through this or commenting that they do and how they cope. I feel so alone and defeated.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 46w

I’m sorry you’re going through this, I know you’re supposed to push through and be there anyway but then the ocd ofc flares up and makes up something even worse. It’s all so confusing and I’m so sorry, you’re a good person and a good mom. You’re not alone, I’m not a mom but I’ve read so many posts similar to yours on here or on other forums. You’re not alone, I promise.

Godisgood3125

Date posted: 46w

Hey! I’m also a mama to my lil boy. You are not alone. I also struggle with the incessant intrusive thoughts - the last I would ever want to do - OCD can be such a pest targeting the things and people we value most. Don’t fight it , surrender and let them have their moment and “expose yourself” to the anxiety of the moment- us reacting and doing our compulsions is what makes them come back again and again- just let the thoughts come up and remind yourself “it’s just my OCD monster again trying to trick me” once you identify it for what it is you give it less power over you- 🙏🏽🙌 from one mama to another- you got this!

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 46w

@Godisgood3125 Ty💕

Slicey

Date posted: 46w

My son is 16 and quite handsome (if I do say so myself :). I have had intrusive, sexual thoughts about him and about my husband’s grandkids who are 1 and 4 years old in addition to random children who are strangers. I thought harm OCD was bad - POCD is worse. I had a panic attack for 3 days about the grandkids. They live across the country and I was only looking at pictures their mom sent us. Anyway, one of the amazing NOCD therapists told me “1 and 4 year olds are so hot.” This changed my perspective about ALL OCD. It’s all complete garbage, nothing we really think or feel or want. HOWEVER, the only way to get past is to lean into it, which sounds horrifying, I know. However, I wanted it to pass SO badly, I gave it a try. I not only lean into all my intrusive thoughts, I tell my OCD they are my most favorite thoughts of all time. I embrace them wholeheartedly. And guess what? THE THOUGHTS PASS INSTANTLY. ERP that shit. All day, every day, every thought. Also follow @tabootracie and @alegrakastens on Instagram. If you have a NOCD therapist, attend Tracie’s support groups on Sundays and Tuesdays. She has changed my life.

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 46w

@Slicey Ty💕

OCDNoThankYe

Date posted: 46w

Hi there, I am not in your particular position but I want to let you know that you are not alone by any means with the thoughts your dealing with. I deal with so many different, crazy, off the wall thoughts and understand how detrimental it can be. I am so proud of you for being strong enough to share you story with us. Please, reach out to an OCD therapist to get treatment if you aren't already. You deserve happiness, love and light in your life. You are not your thoughts, that's exactly why they bother you as they are against your morals. Find some time to practice some self love and care and know that you are an incredibly strong and brave person dealing with OCD. I highly recommend trying grounding exercises: https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-article/grounding-techniques-article (the 5-4-3-2-1 is my favorite), and try some mindfulness meditation as well. I can't help with the ERP side of things because I haven't began my journey with it yet, but please reach out for help. My thoughts are with you and wish you nothing but the best. You got this.

Johnny69

Date posted: 46w

Sorry you have that happen. That sounds awful but I can see exactly why it might happen. I dont have kids and Im still a teenager but I bet if I ever did Id start worrying about the same stuff. You've probably heard it before but the trick is you just have to accept the possibility maybe you do feel that way maybe you dont even though its awful. Apparently most people without OCD have the same thoughts but they just dont put any meaning behind it so it causes them little distress. The longer you try to get comfortable and seek reassurance the longer youll have to deal with it. Take a leap of faith and pretend to stop caring, and eventually you wont have to pretend because you really wont. Youre only human, stop trying to be perfect and accept maybe you are some weirdo. Eventually you will stop thinking about it and the anxiety will go away because youve taught yourself what youre worrying about is unimportant. I know though its way easier said than done and I still end up occasionally making a post or telling someone to gain assurance im okay, but it really does make living bearable if you do this. Ive had 3 month streaks of 0 OCD. Sadly nobody is in complete control of their thoughts, but you can control how you respond to them and thats the key to stop having this nonsense ruin you.

Marilynsaur

Date posted: 45w

I’m a mom experiencing harm ocd and it’s mostly about my son, every time I’m close to him I get thoughts and urges to harm him. You’re not alone I’m in therapy now to deal with this but you’ll be fine because you’re a good mom who loves her kids so much I can tell because OCD attacks what you value the most

hopefulxmess

Date posted: 45w

@Marilynsaur Ty💕

Anony1314

Date posted: 23w

Please someone comment. Struggling POCD mom.

Please please help me. I need support. I just need someone to be up front with me. Tell me the truth. I want to get past it all. I'm struggling STRUGGLING today. My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so wanted in the moment and SO real. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support? (edited)

POCD

mamabear0202

Date posted: 21w

Irrational fears as a mom.

Hi everyone, this is giving me so much anxiety even saying this out loud because my OcD is telling me that somehow someone will know who I am on here and report me this goes with what I’m about to say about my irrational stuff. Since my baby was born I’ve had a lot of majorrr anxiety about him getting sick. From there my postpartum ocd spiked. I had this irrational fear someone would falsely report me as a bad mom and I’d get my baby taken from me. I’ve NEVER had anyone tell me I’m a bad mom, as a matter of fact, almost every day I get praised for how good of a mom I am. My child is so loved and taken care of. So why did I have that fear? it CONSUMED ME. Obsessively cleaning my house in case a social worker came. Stopped posting myself having occasional girls nights out for dinner because I thought one of my followers would think I’m a bad mom for getting a break. Not being able to talk about ANYTHING or send pictures of my baby to family and friends to update them since we live out of state because somehow I thought I would say something wrong or do something that would make someone think I’m a bad mom. I was convinced my baby was gonna be taken for zero reason. I still sometimes catch myself over analyzing myself and what I say because I don’t want to say the wrong thing and someone think I’m not a fit mom. I would even replay every scenario I remember and then second guess myself if that really happened or if I said something or not and freak out and spiral from there. with driving, if I go over a speed bump I have to double check it wasn’t magically a person. Then I panic even though I know for a fact it was a speed bump. I hate living like this. I feel crazy. I don’t open up because I feel like I’m the only person in the world. The one time I opened up about driving it was used against me. I feel like I’m drowning and I’m failing as a mom. I don’t even open up to a therapist about my irrational fear about baby being taken bc I don’t want them to think I’m a bad mom. It just doesn’t stop.

Anony1314

Date posted: 20w

So upset with myself. I'm all alone in this.

My mind is telling me I'm the only one who is dealing with something like this. Idk why I did my biggest BIGGEST fear. I was put on a new medication when this happened which caused me to spiral, my thoughts to be more often, and have insomnia. I have been diagnosed with POCD as well. I woke up in the middle of the night when my child was laying completely cross my chest. I was breathing and having groinal sensations. My mind told me that I assaulted her by this, and I was going to prison for it. My thoughts started going like this, "you're already bad might as well do something else", "no sense in stopping now" "you can finally do what you've always wanted", "what would you do if you could do anything to cause harm" So I had to think of what to do in the moment. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards my child's groin. In the moment it felt like I really wanted to do this. I proceeded to do so, and my elbow touched her groin. I immediately told my child to move off me. I then went back to sleep. When I woke up, I began panicking, confessing to a family member what happened, and crying immensely. I feel like I failed as a mother. I'm in such distress since I started sleeping on the floor to avoid it from happening again, and I got off the medication. I'm so much better OCD wise since I got off the meds. I was the BEST mom months ago before this happened. The thoughts have always bothered me, and I was always scared I would give in and act on them. I'm living my worst nightmare. I feel alone. Felt so so wanted in the moment and SO real. Which I don't understand. Ugh. Could someone just give me some support?

POCD

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Mama in distress😪

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