I feel disgusted saying this, but I think my ocd attacks younger kids that look pretty or something (not attractive),, and it makes me feel attracted, even saying this makes me feel like a pred, and I feel really grossed out, I feel like a bad person for even suggesting such a thing and I’m spiraling. Please help…
Are you suggesting yourself again and again that you are attracted to younger kids ? Cause this happens sometimes our brain constantly repeats the something and we think it's our reality. Try to understand this one thing that if something keeps repeating in our mind it doesn't mean it is true. If you keeping thinking the something that is same you will feel it's real.
I think you need to practice being aware and learn that watching your thoughts is the same as watching clouds in the sky. You need to learn that thoughts are meaningless and that only you make them powerful. By practicing enough not to engage with your mind and not to get into conversations with your mind, you will see results. Meditation through some apps can guide you. Writing down your thoughts helps you too. Remember, you have to be patient, practice, and believe in yourself. There is nothing you can't succeed at with practice.
@Anonymous - Thank you anonymous, you’re always on my posts and I appreciate your help all of the time!!
It’s 4am and I’m really freaking myself out. So full disclosure…I used to watch Porn and this triggered SO OCD initially. I feel like it’s NOW jumped into POCD. In the past I used to click on vids of women performing sexual acts. (Hence the SO OCD) But now I’m freaking out that I actually finished and enjoyed myself to the vids that maybe said Teen in the title or what not. At the time I didn’t believe that those girls were actually underage because why would that be legal and distributed on Porn hub? Maybe these girls are trying to click bait a weird thing? I assumed Teen meant 18. Now I look back on it and feel gross and that I’m a predator. I would never condone anything like that in real life. I keep questioning myself like “Why the hell did I do that?” “why didn’t I click off the video?” If that person was actually 17 or younger I would freaking lose it. How could I live with myself? How could I ever be a good person?
Im looking at youtube videos, I see a little girl that is pretty. So ofcourse my ocd attacks me and I say she's hot to myself even though I don't think that. I start getting anxiety and feel depressed. Why?
Sometimes when I feel false attraction, I’ll say things out of disbelief and fear, for example, I see a kid that looks older and I feel sort attraction so I panic and say “I’m attracted” “I think he’s attractive” “he is/looks attractive” ,, “he’s attractive” ,, “he looks handsome” along those lines… I panic when I say these and my brain uses it against me… I genuinely feel like a bad person. I feel like I’m genuinely attracted now and that I’m a bad person and that I need to accept it, I’m so scared. I don’t want to be this person but when I think about it, it’s like it’s not bad to be one and I don’t freak out and it makes me worry
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