Username: Nameless000

Date posted: 20w ago

no reaction to horrible intrusive image

I had a terrible graphic intrusive image. So why didn't I feel nothing? I should have been disgusted immediately. I was just passive, it didn't effect me as much. I'm currently obsessing about the fact that I didn't react. I don't know if I should be afraid of this. I know I didn't like that, but when things like these happen I feel like I never have enough confidence, like to simply say "no I was disgusted, I don't like this, I would never do that" end of the story, without any second guessing thoughts. I can never have that statement confidently without feeling that it might not be true. And sometimes when I try to answer to the "OCD question" my brain double downs and says "well what about this? how about that? would you like it that way? you've never thought about it that way!" My brain asks me "would you do it if it was like that? have you ever considered what would it be like? maybe you would like it?" What do I do? I think I know what should I do, but I don't know if it applies to this, if it applies to me at all, as sometimes I think that these are not OCD symptoms or it isn't OCD at all.

POCD

Username: comic_sanscomic_sans

Date posted: 20w ago

my ocd is the same way. it's pure O. always checking how you feel. I had the same thing like pocd and I would check how I felt every time I saw a small child. it sucks. trust me it's just the ocd. when you think about it, nobody is gonna sit and ruminate like we do. you're okay!

Username: Nameless000Nameless000

Date posted: 20w ago

the thing is that i had a very disturbing intrusive graphic image. and i didnt react to it.

Username: Amara Amara

Date posted: 20w ago

@Nameless000 The fact that you did not react as strongly to the intrusive image as expected could be considered good news . It might indicate a potential reduction in the emotional response or sensitivity to such intrusive thoughts, which could be a sign of progress in your treatment or coping strategies.

Username: nalastonewood nalastonewood

Date posted: 20w ago

when you don’t feel anything, it’s probably because you’ve done a good job at not doing compulsions and not responding to the OCD. at least, that’s what happens to me. it starts to go away because you break the conditioning. then, your OCD is trying to grasp at straws and find ways for you to be pulled back into the OCD. this is normal. if you’re concerned that you felt nothing, tell yourself something like “wow, brain, you’re so right. it’s confusing that i don’t care. i appreciate you trying to help me, but i think i can handle how to respond to this. thank you” ocd’s just tryna help. it’s not very helpful, but it tries

Username: nalastonewood nalastonewood

Date posted: 20w ago

@nalastonewood because i didn’t say it: great job!!! this indicates progress in your OCD ! to me, at least!

Username: Nameless000Nameless000

Date posted: 20w ago

@nalastonewood but i don't know why this did happen. I didn't attempt at making any progress these past days, it just happened. But thanks for the encouragement tho

Username: nalastonewood nalastonewood

Date posted: 20w ago

@Nameless000 honestly, the erp mindset doesn’t require practice, but it does help. i would be lying if i said i purposefully exposed myself to my triggers, BUT, when they do arise (and they tend to daily) i practice ERP. and then they arise less. even though i never intentionally practice it, if you’re following the steps, you are still doing it

Username: CrazyclankerCrazyclanker

Date posted: 20w ago

I had a similar experience. I posted it. You can look at it if you want. It’s at the top and most recent

Username: Nameless000Nameless000

Date posted: 20w ago

It doesn't show up, what's the title?

Username: CrazyclankerCrazyclanker

Date posted: 20w ago

@Nameless000 It starts with “I’m scared man”

Username: Nameless000Nameless000

Date posted: 20w ago

@GoofyGoblin how many hours ago? I can't see it

Username: CrazyclankerCrazyclanker

Date posted: 20w ago

@Nameless000 It says 11 minutes ago

Username: Nameless000Nameless000

Date posted: 20w ago

@GoofyGoblin it's not there, i dont know why, if your post was flagged it won't appear, but i dont think it's the case. Sorry I couldn't help

Username: CrazyclankerCrazyclanker

Date posted: 20w ago

@Nameless000 I think it’s cuz I put a trigger warning on there. I never got a notification on it getting flagged

Username: Nameless000Nameless000

Date posted: 20w ago

@GoofyGoblin I don't think that's the issue, i can see posts that have a trigger warning. If you need help you can put it in short under this post

Username: CrazyclankerCrazyclanker

Date posted: 20w ago

@Nameless000 It’s a long one so I really can’t

Username: CrazyclankerCrazyclanker

Date posted: 20w ago

@Nameless000 What if I message it to you

Username: CrazyclankerCrazyclanker

Date posted: 20w ago

@Nameless000 Actually nvm im only comfortable telling this to adults, you’re a minor sorry

Username: Nameless000Nameless000

Date posted: 20w ago

@GoofyGoblin I'm actually 18 years old, I havent edited my info for a while

Username: CrazyclankerCrazyclanker

Date posted: 20w ago

@Nameless000 Ahhh oki

Username: CrazyclankerCrazyclanker

Date posted: 20w ago

@Nameless000 How do I message you?

Username: Nameless000Nameless000

Date posted: 20w ago

@Crazyclanker Sorry, I don't think I'm in the right place where I can give you advices. I don't think I can handle it right now. I hope somebody replies to your posts and that you get the help you need.

Username: Nameless000Nameless000

Date posted: 20w ago

@Crazyclanker if nobody replies to your post, I'd advice you to copy past it and repost it more than once until somebody sees it

Username: 💟

Date posted: 25w ago

exposures

so I've been trying to do what my therapist said while she's on vacation for a few weeks and do some of my routine exposures. One of them is watching tv and not looking away when there is children on screen. I tried sitting through a preview of a shows first episode that featured a young girl in a Victorian outfit with blonde hair, and he had very ghostly white skin and powder pink lips. It was a ghost show, which is the kind of genre I usually like, so I wanted to try and enjoy the clip. And my therapist always told me to "not appraise the thoughts, our goal isn't to avoid them, but to let them pass" but as I kept watching, I kept getting mental voices telling me that "she's pretty you want to kiss her" and I felt almost frozen in my seat? I felt a kind of anxiety I haven't felt in years, but I tried to continue to watch the clip and let it pass, but I couldn't. I felt this mental need to go back and "check" to really be sure if I was attracted to her, I pictured kissing her and idk if it even counts as an intrusive thought atp? I felt like if I were to have the thought and then prove myself I was grossed out by pushing it away I would feel better, but it didnt. My brain just kept telling me that I wanted her and it was very much on purpose to test to see whether I felt that way or not and it did and I kept feeling that horrible form of anxiety that makes your face hot and I don't think I was really TRUELY attracted to her but it's like a fucked up twisted form of attraction that's false but feels real at the same time? Idk if that makes sense... idk, I'm trying my best but I feel like I NEED to think the thoughts, letting them pass isn't enough. Or like the thought will stick in my brain and it'll keep going like a mini movie playing in my head and it feels like almost like I'm fantasizing even though that isn't what I want to do. I feel like I have no choice but to push them away or else I'll have a horrible realization... idk... I've been struggling with this for 5 years now. I don't even know how to properly articulate how I feel in those moments it's so confusing that I don't know how to describe it to my therapist. How do people just lable their feelings on things so effortlessly? Why is it so hard for me? Idk I don't really want reassurance bc it won't help but I just want to feel like I'm not alone in this.

POCD

Username: Bleebloop

Date posted: 20w ago

Real Event and Sexual OCD

I think I just need to vent about this and hopefully I’ll feel better. When I was a teen (somewhere between 12 and 18, fuzzy about when exactly) I found some weird fetish porn. I didn’t even know what I was doing because my sex ed was terrible, but I ended up getting off to it. I remember being confused, scared, and VERY secretive. I ended up being funneled into a community that ultimately was very harmful for me as a young teen, one that I don’t think I would have been anywhere near if I hadn’t stumbled onto it. Now that I’m in my late 20s, I recognize that this was not a good situation. I think I was into it because it was paired with things I do like, because of the secrecy and anxiety, and just sheer exposure. But that doesn’t stop me from every once in a while being absolutely terrified that I secretly like it. It’s nerve wracking, because I wonder if I just convinced myself I didn’t like it because I assigned moral value to it. I had friends that thought it was disgusting. But at the end of the day, I didn’t stop because of other people, I stopped because I found myself not wanting it anymore. I just stopped wanting it. Now, I don’t want it. Even though I’ve done my best to remove the moral quantity to it, I just don’t want to do it and the thought makes me uncomfortable and icked out. So… yeah. I’ve talked to my therapist before. It was the first time I ever cried in therapy. I think I need to talk through it more. I’m comforted knowing I don’t want to act on any of the intrusive thoughts I get about it, but knowing that I did things when I was a teen makes it hard. I just have to remind myself I was a child, I know what was happening. But it’s hard

Username: Stormyskies

Date posted: 20w ago

Normal?

Is it normal in OCD to test yourself to see if you like something (POCD specifically) Sometimes I imagine scenarios or things to see if I have a reaction to them but then feel guilty about imagining it afterwards…

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