Im sick of it all.

All i ever do is lose. Just lose at fucking everything in life even though I beg to god that I can win at least one fucking thing. To be good at one fucking thing. To be excellent at one fucking thing. And I cant even do that. I cant even win at my video games. The smallest win I cant even get. Im in fucking hell. A hell where Im alone and theres no one to comfort me because they think im feeling sorry for myself. I hate my existence and my life so fucking bad. What am I sorry about my life for if all I want to is make the suffering stop? I constantly play, try to improve, but theres nothing I can do that makes me stand out. Nothing I can do that makes me worthy of anything. I hate this world, i hate god for hating me, and I hate myself. Hate myself for not being good enough for any goddamn thing. Im sick. Im fucking sick. Im sick of this. Im sick of me. Im sick of not being good enough at any fucking thing despite my efforts. Nothing I do matters. Nothing about me is special. Im so goddamn tired of it all... im damned to hell... or maybe im there... i dont fucking know.

Young adults with OCD

Username: 1230Anonymous1230Anonymous

Date posted: 22w ago

Sounds like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself to be good enough (I do the same thing). And it also sounds like you are comparing yourself to others (good enough on has to be based on a set of standards). If you feel like you are no good at anything, then stop putting pressure on yourself to be good at everything and stop comparing yourself to others. Then find something you can do well and be positive about… maybe it will be that you’re going to be really good at eating ice cream and watching a movie tomorrow. If you aren’t good at that, then you may be in some trouble haha (I’m usually depressed and in my head when I try to relax, so you can be better than me at least)

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 22w ago

I second the opinion of the previous comment. Unfortunatly, society likes to tell us that our value is defined by our performance and that we need to be exceptionally good at skills that are deemed valuable in some way to be worthy. That is not true. Every one of us has intrinsic worth as a human being. So the important thing is not to win at some game or be better than others. Instead we should follow our personal values and be try to be the best version of ourselves instead of comparing ourselves to others.

Username: Nugget_5089

Date posted: 21w ago

Constant Game of OCD and I’m sick of it

Every time i seem to get a hold of one thing my ocd is doing to me it comes back up in different ways and im so tired of it. I can’t keep living like this and i really feel so tired and done. First it was harm/suicide fixations and actions then it was intense sound sensitivity then it was touch sensitivity and now i’ve got a grip on all of those after MONTHS and now my depression has stemmed from my ocd and im ready to lose my mind or whatever is left of it. i just want to die bc its literally the only end all of this game. im exhausted.

Username: MushroomStew

Date posted: 20w ago

Tired

Is there any point in trying anymore? There is no way to get the help I need, and even if I could, what if I learn it was never ocd in the first place? What do i do then? Everything feels so hopeless, all i want is to go bavk in time to before these thoughts started. This app is all I have to talk about how I feel. I always had OCD symptoms of varying themes as well as a terrible anxiety disorder that only worsened, but I could've never imagined I would feel like this. If a Hell exists, im certain I'm going there

Username: Brian__

Date posted: 16w ago

Abt to give up atp

I’m so sick of this disorder I really am. I’m failing school because I havent gone in 5 days because of ocd, im sick right now but I could easily go to school if I wanted to, it’s not because I’m sick, it’s because I’m genuinely afraid to go out, I did a exposure by going to a fair two days ago and it was genuinely fucking horrible, I don’t feel like it helped me. I’m gonna go to school tomorrow but I’m just terrified and I know I’m gonna be miserable and it’s gonna flare up horribly. I don’t want to accept or cope with the fact I have ocd. I don’t want to be ok with my thoughts, why should I have to be ok with my thoughts to get better? Why was I made this way? Why can’t I just be normal? I don’t want to accept the fact I have horrible disgusting thoughts why should I? It makes me feel disgusting and sick. I just really wish I wasn’t dealing with this. I don’t want to die I just wish I was different, so different. I’m so sick of this. I know my past wasn’t my fault but I feel sick and disgusted and like I’m a sick fuck who should be killed or put in jail. I really can’t take it anymore i just want to be ok. I know what it feels like to be happy I just don’t know how to get back there. I was doing so good for 3 weeks. Not a single intrusive thought or urge. I was genuinely happy and now I feel horrible. I don’t want to live like this or be ok with it I just can’t it’s never gonna end why is it fair that I have to live like this?

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Im sick of it all.

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