i don’t even feel human right now honestly, like i feel NOTHING. ugh my mind comes up w doubts that completely go against what I want and who I want to be. and my values. it feels so real too and i’m so afraid because of how real it feels bro. i feel like there’s no coming back from this. i’m genuinely becoming evil. i really didn’t want to be like this bro. i just wanna be normal
I relate. With thoughts going against my values trying to confuse my brain even more. And I feel dissociated too kind of because how distressful the thoughts can be. And I also have this fear of being “evil” You are or alone in this feeling. I just keep telling myself it will pass
@Angel Kissoon Especially since existential/pure ocd isn’t that much talked about too it can feel lonely
@Angel Kissoon Mine is pretty bad right now. Looping on the thought that nothing is real. Even tho I know this is my life and reality. It’s very distressing. Any tips?
@sray719 Oops I meant to put: you are NOT alone lol. Yes I know how you feel. It’s a scary feeling to think this deep and go down the rabbit hole. When I tell my sister about how I feel she tells me “But you already know you are though.” OCD wants to really get us to doubt every single little thing. Even down to our own existence. She tells me to say to myself “I am real. I recognize myself. I know myself.” Despite what you may *feel* because feelings lie to us too
@Angel Kissoon Thank you. It’s nice to have other people who understand
@Angel Kissoon i get that too, but mine attack my core values and morals, telling me they aren’t real or they are invalid. i feel changed, i don’t feel like myself, i can’t believe anything without doubting it a lot :/ i don’t want to lose my morals or anything, but it feels like i believe these thoughts i don’t want to be a bad person, and i’ve been like disassociated for the past few months and i don’t feel anything but doubt for my values anymore which scares me i just wish this never happened 😕
@freshpanda also it really feels like my mind is trying to make me become evil and it scares me ugh :(
@freshpanda I’m actually experiencing everything you JUST described. It’s crazy. It feels like you read my mind. Something that I keep hanging unto (although it’s incredibly HARD believe me I know exactly what you’re going through!!) feeling numb and scared and then not feeling scared and then back to numb. But I saw an Instagram post yesterday that said: keep running towards your values and morals. Instead of running away from them. Just keep running towards them
@freshpanda And just remember God is with us. Despite what our minds try to convince us. And He knows what’s going on
@freshpanda Also something a lot of people tell me- and I’m now understanding maybe it’s true: is a lot of free time makes it easier for our minds to go down the rabbit hole
@Angel Kissoon thank you so much :) it hurts that when i read the run back to your values thing, i almost felt uncomfortable, i felt a lot of doubt, making me feel like i don’t believe in my values anymore, which ofc i do want my values (but these days it feels like i don’t even know what i want) maybe i should stop stressing about it and once i feel better i will be able to appreciate my values more? again thanks for helping me feel less alone 💗
@freshpanda I understand. I think in a heightened stress state it’s triggering but when your anxiety lowers back, then it can be easy. People always tell me too I’m putting too much pressure on myself. And I think you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself. My mom told me once, “God is not putting pressure on you.”
Have you tried any supplements?
@sray719 wdym? which supplements?
I’m dealing with a bad episode of derealization I was having panic attacks all day. I started magnesium glycine before bed and b complex on the morning. Upping protein I can tell it’s slowly pulling me out
According to every story i've read , watched, seen, characters who turn even actively love it. Maybe they don't even know it's happening. You've heard a classic evil villain laugh right? So if you're struggling with thinking you're evil then I don't think you are. That's just my 2 cents
I don't even know if I should put this here, but I have the greatest girlfriend in the whole world, and I love her very much, but my thoughts keep saying I'm going to hurt her, so I can hurt God and idk what to do, I feel so disgusted and idk what to do, and the worst part is why does some part of me just not even care idk what to do anymore, it's almost like I'm turning into this horrible person and idk what to do, I'm really not sure what to do. I have really been able to be happy I just feel like I don't deserve it and I want to care about people and God and I want to be a good person, but a part of me shuts off my caring nature and idk what to do, I'm really freaking out because it's like IDC and idk what to do I just feel so nasty and scared because why don't I feel like I care. Why does it feel like it's something I wanna do idk, what to do I'm really freaking worried. Also I don't want OCD but a part of me says I need it or I like these thoughts and idk what to do, as im writing this i just feel like laughing and idk what to do, i really judt want jesus to hug me and say everything will be alright, i am such a monster....
I’ve been feeling so disconnected lately, like I’m not even living my own life. It’s like I’m being controlled by someone else, and I have no say in what’s happening. It’s hard to put this feeling into words, but it’s like I’m here physically, but mentally, I’m just... not. Every day feels like a struggle. I wake up afraid of what’s coming next, almost like I’m bracing myself for the next bad thing to happen. Sometimes, I don’t even want to get out of bed because it feels pointless, like I’m stuck in this loop of fear and doubt. I keep questioning everything, life, my purpose, my choices, and it’s exhausting. I just want to feel like myself again, to feel like I have control, like I’m really here.
it feels like i want to be a boy. i really dont i keep having these what i hope to be false feelings and they suck. oddly enough they make me feel more like a girl again so its a weird win win situation. i want to be fine again i wanna be that girl again. it just feels like i’ll never be and i just have to be a boy i hate it all
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