98% of dudes now i get nervous, weird tight chest feelings and other sensations and feelings, thoughts coming in, it feels like real attraction and I hate it. And it feels like real attraction and the thoughts make it harder, how can i beat this once and for all?
This is something I’m still admittedly dealing with, but compared to even a few weeks ago, I am doing so much better. My tip is to accept that you’re going to get triggered when you see dudes. Accept that you’re going to have thoughts you’re not going to like. These thoughts mean nothing, even though they feel like they mean everything or even that people are seeing your thoughts. Since doing this I’ve been so much less anxious in public and while the thoughts still happen it’s more of a blip rather than a constant focus
Will they ever go away? If I do the work and push on will I beat false attraction?
@Anonymous It may or may not. But the less you begin to worry about it the less you notice it. When I first experienced SOOCD 7 years ago, I eventually forgot all about the anxiety and checking by when out in public. I don’t remember when the switch happened but I do remember that false attraction going away in between then and my current flare up
@Zoroarcanine - Awesome thank you very much h
I totally get it. Like for me it was with men, as if I was in „love“ with every man even married ones. I need(ed) to make good experiences with men. With taken men. Like when they treat me with respect even though I might be nervous. That’s what helps me. I don’t know if it’s applicable to you.
I totally get you guys, I suffer from false attraction too, and I hate how real it feels. I have a boyfriend who I love very much, and besides this I suffer from false attraction. It is terrifying, just wanted to let you guys know that your not alone at all
so I've been trying to do what my therapist said while she's on vacation for a few weeks and do some of my routine exposures. One of them is watching tv and not looking away when there is children on screen. I tried sitting through a preview of a shows first episode that featured a young girl in a Victorian outfit with blonde hair, and he had very ghostly white skin and powder pink lips. It was a ghost show, which is the kind of genre I usually like, so I wanted to try and enjoy the clip. And my therapist always told me to "not appraise the thoughts, our goal isn't to avoid them, but to let them pass" but as I kept watching, I kept getting mental voices telling me that "she's pretty you want to kiss her" and I felt almost frozen in my seat? I felt a kind of anxiety I haven't felt in years, but I tried to continue to watch the clip and let it pass, but I couldn't. I felt this mental need to go back and "check" to really be sure if I was attracted to her, I pictured kissing her and idk if it even counts as an intrusive thought atp? I felt like if I were to have the thought and then prove myself I was grossed out by pushing it away I would feel better, but it didnt. My brain just kept telling me that I wanted her and it was very much on purpose to test to see whether I felt that way or not and it did and I kept feeling that horrible form of anxiety that makes your face hot and I don't think I was really TRUELY attracted to her but it's like a fucked up twisted form of attraction that's false but feels real at the same time? Idk if that makes sense... idk, I'm trying my best but I feel like I NEED to think the thoughts, letting them pass isn't enough. Or like the thought will stick in my brain and it'll keep going like a mini movie playing in my head and it feels like almost like I'm fantasizing even though that isn't what I want to do. I feel like I have no choice but to push them away or else I'll have a horrible realization... idk... I've been struggling with this for 5 years now. I don't even know how to properly articulate how I feel in those moments it's so confusing that I don't know how to describe it to my therapist. How do people just lable their feelings on things so effortlessly? Why is it so hard for me? Idk I don't really want reassurance bc it won't help but I just want to feel like I'm not alone in this.
For the people who have SOOCD : do you guys ever wander if your false attraction to the unwanted sex is actually what true attraction feels like and what you actually felt for the "wanted sex" wasn't real and was just forced all your life because of society? This thought is currently consuming me because I feel like its true for me... like whenever I imagine a guy it feels like forced attraction but if I imagine any girl it feel true and intense??
Even after ocd has calmed down. Scared that when my ocd goes away, I’ll still have “attraction” and groinals to girls. I don’t want to be lesbian. It’s like I don’t want my ocd to go away now? Anxiety and intrusive thoughts have gone down but my false attraction still feels real? And now it feels like I’ve always had this. And my real attraction is still missing? Has this happened to anyone ?
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