- Date posted
- 40w ago
Porn and rocd
Am I crazy for thinking that my boyfriend watching porn is cheating?
Am I crazy for thinking that my boyfriend watching porn is cheating?
If you set the boundary that watching porn makes you uncomfortable and he does it anyways, then no.
@Ellie… Thank you
No, because it literally is. How is it any different from him paying a call girl? Don’t let anyone gas light you into thinking this has to do with OCD just because you have a basic moral standard for your relationship.
@RKRowton2005 Thank you. Its hard to tell whether its a moral or ocd or both. I think its a moral but ocd has definitely latched on to it and caused me lots of compulsions around it.
Definitely not crazy. This is very understandable and you should communicate these feelings with your partner. Some couples may not be bothered by this and others might. Tell him how this makes you feel and the boundary you set will go from there. If he continues to do this anyway, then there is more of a cause for concern in my opinion.
@BigGyro09 Thank you this makes a lot of sense ❤️
You’re not crazy at all. You’re dealing with an obsession. Masturbation in both men and women is very important. It is proven to relieve stress, improve intimacy with your partner and also give you an opposite to explore your own pleasures. As long as it is not taking away from yours and your partners sex life how he chooses to pleasure himself, may be through watching porn. However if this doesn’t upset you communicate it with your partner
@Miss.OCD Thank you 🙏❤️
Nope not crazy, this is a reasonable response to your partner essentially deriving pleasure from someone other than you and, possibly, “someone” who can meet sexual wants you may not be comfortable with. Some may be okay with this—it depends on the couple. But if it’s been established that this is NOT appropriate, then he should absolutely not be consuming porn. Even if you didn’t establish it beforehand, I’d still say you’re reasonable in being upset. It’s you finding out something about your partner’s values that you didn’t know before, something maybe you’re not comfortable with. It can be jarring.
@chibiyu Thank you for commenting. I feel a lot less crazy when you put it that way, it can definitely be jarring. I just wish my ocd didnt latch onto it in the way it did because its already hard enough without ocd.
Sorry if this is a bit of an odd post, but I’m wondering if there are any girls out there that have specifically struggled with shame around watching porn? A lot of my real-event ocd stems from watching that kind of content in the past, and for some reason it feels particularly taboo as a woman. As a young teen, I saw some genuinely disturbing things, and I think a lot of that was to do with having unrestricted access to the internet. However, despite lots of people telling me “that’s normal teen curiosity” it just never feels like it applies to me, and that I’m genuinely just a sexual deviant. I think because that kind of content is so graphic and overstimulating it’s really stuck in my brain, and I just wish I could turn back the clock and switch off the computer. I’ve recently been struggling with doing typical ‘girly’ stuff because I feel tainted and gross, and I just want to get back to feeling myself again.
Sometimes I get really upset with my boyfriend and I can’t tell if I’m not having my needs met or if it’s my ROCD questioning things. I can’t express that I’m upset because he rlly doesn’t understand what is going on in my head and most times I bring it up it’s turned into an argument. It is really frustrating does anyone have any tips on deciphering this stuff or dealing with the upset feeling/ bad thoughts (IE: “He’s cheating on me and that’s why he’s not texting.”) (IE: “He’s talking like this because he just doesn’t love me, and he’s not attracted to me. He clearly wants to leave me but doesn’t have the heart to do it yet”)
I’ve been struggling with something that’s been really overwhelming, and I’m hoping to get some perspective from others here. I feel a lot of guilt about it, and I’m not sure if I’m alone in this experience. Lately, I’ve found myself daydreaming about romantic situations or getting caught up in ‘what if’ scenarios—where I wonder if I could develop feelings for someone else, or if someone develops feelings for me. The thing is, I’m in a relationship that I love, and I don’t want to act on these thoughts at all. What makes it even harder is that these thoughts often hyperfixate on one specific friend, and sometimes they feel entertaining or give me a dopamine rush. But then, of course, I feel even more guilty because it makes me feel like I’m betraying my boyfriend. These thoughts usually happen when I’m upset and looking for comfort, but then they morph into romantic scenarios, which makes me feel so disloyal. I’m constantly going back and forth between feeling curious or entertained by the thoughts and then feeling horrible for even allowing them to happen in the first place. I keep confessing these thoughts to my boyfriend, and he tries to be understanding. He’s just never been the type to daydream, so he doesn’t know if this is something other people experience or if it’s just me. I feel like such an awful girlfriend. Has anyone else dealt with something like this?
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