- Date posted
- 1y
Identity
Am i not authentically straight if i choose to identify based on how i want to live my life and how i want to be attracted vs if i have attractions that fall into the category
Am i not authentically straight if i choose to identify based on how i want to live my life and how i want to be attracted vs if i have attractions that fall into the category
You may find this answer to be a little infuriating but you can be whatever you want to me. You don’t need to have an answer to this question. The thing that wants you to find the answer to this question only wants you to think that there is an answer, but there is no answer that is 100%. The best thing I can recommend is to acknowledge how those thoughts make you feel, ex.I acknowledge that these thoughts make me feel anxious” or “Yep, that could be true, I might never know the answer to that”and then try your best to move on. This is not like a cold that will just go away though. This is something that takes a lot of practice and I recommend finding a therapist trained in ERP therapy and looking into that
@Zoroarcanine I really needed to read that. I’ve had a really bad day today
@AmandaB345 I’m really sorry to hear that! I’ve had my fair share of bad days and I’m sure I’ll still have more. I’m glad this was able to help you and I really hope your day turns around!
@Zoroarcanine Thank you!! I’ve had about 3 crying sessions today. But I’m starting to comeback to me slowly
@Zoroarcanine Sexual orientation is not a choice
@Neytiri You’re 100% correct, and guess who loves that fact? OCD. I had a reoccurring thought during therapy that was: “People don’t get to choose their sexual orientation so what gives you the right to” While not definite for every case, I believe the majority of people who go through SO OCD, that identify as straight, are ally’s of the lgbtqia+ community, and I’ve found my OCD to love that. In the midst of trying to crawl out of the hole SO OCD puts people in, seeing the difference between choosing your orientation and knowing what you are feels like it is impossible to see. No one chooses their orientation but we also don’t need to spend hours trying to find the absolute right answer
Relate to this sooo much! I feel like I live by this reassurance sometimes and it helps for a bit but then I get awful feelings like I’m not fulfilled in life …that’s my worst symptom recently and then I worry that’s because I’m “hiding” my true self and I go round in circles in my brain …and I’m only anxious cause something isn’t right 🥰
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I am scared we just cannot choose. Sexual orientation is not a choice :-(
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
How can you tell if it’s SOOCD, being in denial or sexual orientation fluid change? I really really hope it’s just SOOCD but I suffer so much from the loss of attraction to opposite gender and severe‘false’ attraction to same gender. It makes me feel sick and want to cry every time I have false attractions. I find it so difficult I feel my entire life has flipped and been destroyed.
I have experienced every theme that can be added to post but I’m currently experiencing those. So I am on the spectrum and I happen to have a high sensory profile and it definitely gives the ocd more to latch unto. I would see a pretty female with makeup done and it eatssss and I would notice the facial symmetry + how her features compliment each other and my ocd would be like why did you notice she is pretty, BECAUSE I HAVE EYES😭! I can’t be the only neurodivergent person that notices details and how attractive people are intensely? I do not even care about orientation but I know for sure if I was into women, it won’t just start plaguing me one evening Im my head shouting “you are gay” like man Im a female at least say you are a lesbian 😭😂😂😂😂. How can I genuinely have no interest and get outrightly repulsed by females sexually and romantically. It feels like I am being forced to be something im not. I tried accepting i am lesbian but I experienced more anxiety and could not sleep till I accepted i am still straight and it is ocd playing with me(ocd leave me alone, I don’t even enjoy playing with you) I accepted i am a lesbian like ocd said I should but why do I still love my ex and hope I marry him😭 + I couldn’t bring myself to be interested in females. OCD leave me alone because I don’t enjoy this game again! I’m not homophobic at all but denouncing Im straight doesn’t feel like home and I still find myself yearning for only men
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