?

I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now

I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?

This list by ai gives a good summary of my symptoms. Does it resemble OCD or is it something else? 1. Compulsions (OCD-specific behaviors): • Feeling the need to flex or contract muscles an even number of times, equally on both sides of your body. • Needing to reverse actions (for example, if you roll your eyes or trace a line with your finger, you feel compelled to do it again in the exact opposite way). 2. Intrusive Thoughts (OCD-specific ruminations): • Daydreaming about people you care about getting hurt (e.g., school shooting, injury, or kidnapping). • Sometimes feeling like you might want something bad to happen to someone you find attractive—possibly because of a desire to help or save them, though it’s confusing. • These thoughts can sometimes provide a twisted sense of relief while remaining distressing and confusing. 3. Sexual Orientation OCD: • Experiencing confusion or doubt about your sexual orientation. 4. Contamination Thoughts: • Feeling like things are contaminated, especially after touching something gross. 5. Sensory Compulsions: • Feeling the need to smell your hand after touching areas like your ear or hair. 6. ADHD-like Symptoms / Additional Observations: • Fidgeting or moving your legs when standing or sitting.