i suffer from limerence so badly that i legit want to merge souls and become one with the people i fall into limerence with. i understand that ocd plays a part in this as well but if anyone has experience on how to NOT DO THIS please …it needs to end i fear its creepy and just weird. i just want to like people to the normal extent
I have experience with limerence. The thing I tell myself is to let the beast starve & it will eventually die off. Anytime I get any sort of daydreams , similar to intrusive thoughts , I can acknowledge them but don’t have to indulge in them. Sometimes it’s hard to help it , but best thing is to let it be . I think in the perspective of the people i put as my object of limerence. It is unfair to them since you’re not seeing their humanity and it brings me back to not wanting to do this to them. But also to me. We crave love & connection as humans and that’s normal so don’t feel shame about it either since it makes it harder to get out of the cycle. I hope this is somewhat helpful and it’s how I’m learning to let it go! Another is me personally I am religious and knowing that I believe in an all loving God who will never abandon me helps me. Humans will leave but Gods love is forever & I stop seeking the validation & love from others to the extent of limerence.
@anode17 ty🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻i am not religious but i do believe in god so that is a good reminder. i will say it is extremely hard for me to try to not indulge in the fantasies as i lack a lot of self constraint and i feel like my fantasies give me a hit of happiness and hope ☹️
@hhsudidjdjjs Totally understand about the happiness & hope part! Especially with the fantasies, I’ve learned it could have been a coping mechanism from CPTSD/PTSD. I sometimes like to look back to little me and know that the circumstances I have been dealing with (limerence) are not necessarily my own fault but because of the external circumstances I’ve been in. It helps to move forward by having sympathy for yourself. I totally felt weird & creepy about experiencing limerence too :( but extend sympathy for yourself instead on focusing on how to get rid of this part of you completely! I’ve learned that It’s there for a reason and can only be helped with having patience , care & love for oneself . Slowly but surely you’ll get there and I wish you the best in this journey ♥️
Me too
@elliss2 its so intense and i feel delusional bc i always convince myself that bc i feel so deeply they MUST feel the same way as well
Something that helped me was writing all of these feelings down. It helped that it wasn’t inside of my own head bouncing off back & forth but to have my feelings written to where I can only see when I want to see them. I felt so much better afterwards & that I can move on to live the life that I deserve to not just in my head! There’s great things awaiting for us that are more than what we have created in our minds.
One I understood what limerence even was, (last year) I was able to distance myself from the person. Like I learned when form CBT, “starve the obsession, and it will die if its own inanition.” I can still have little flare ups when around the person many months later. The romance didn’t turn into a relationship and I got hurt feelings and started to spiral but caught myself. Long story, but I think the obsession can weaken by not acting on any impulses to check or communicate etc.
hey everyone. i’m not sure if this app will help me or not, but i feel the need to try anything because i can’t keep living like this. i struggle with obsessing over everything in my life. it feels like everyday my brain picks a new thing in my life to obsess over. for the past couple days ive been obsessing over my interpersonal relationships. for example; “do i like the people im with” “do i like my friends as more than just friends” “do i actually love these people or am i lying to everyone”. it’s been really messing with me and making me question my support system. i can’t stop stressing. i’m even afraid to talk about it with my therapist because i have those thoughts about her too. i’m new to my OCD diagnosis (got diagnosed last month) i was hospitalized for a week because i couldn’t function. i also obsess over my sexuality and nothing i pick for me ever feels quite right. i recently started a relationship with someone who’s trans, so maybe that’s why? does anyone else go through this? my brain tries to convince me that i do this to myself and that im making it all up. but who would want to feel this way? uggghhh
How do you guys cope when your obsessions target people you’re close to? I recently had a sexual thought about a friend of mine and it started snowballing. We’ve been texting more and my brain keeps saying that it’s flirty, and if I were in a situation to kiss her I would. She’s a close friend of mine and I didn’t have sexual thoughts about her until recently. They make me feel disgusting and guilty, and the onset made me feel like my body was on fire. It’s starting to latch on to other friends, and my brain is saying I’m “tempted” by them, and if they came on to me I would give in and like it. I had SO-OCD as a child, and did engage in some play kissing with friends before my SO-OCD happened. (My OCD latches on to that a lot too as proof that I’m gay). I remember the anxiety I had about what I had done with my friend, and this feeling I have now imagining kissing my friends feel similarly. I don’t usually write on here to avoid confessing and reassurance seeking, but I’m at a loss. I have a heavy feeling in my chest and I don’t want to have the thoughts, but part of me thinks I might be liking them and maybe it’s internalized homophobia. I could handle being bi, but the thoughts about my friends and losing control feels so wrong. I’m just confused and want to know how to process when OCD starts attaching to people I’m close to.
I just started dating this guy not too many months ago. he is everything i ever wanted and he treats me right. but now my OCD intrusive thoughts are creeping back in. ones like “do i love him/like him” and like “i have to tell him im having these horrible OCD thoughts or we will never know how i truly feel.” but i know i love/like him. And sometimes I’ll be having a good day and then BAM, the thoughts smack me in the face and i get stuck in an anxious loop and it ruins my mood. how can i break this compulsion without feeling so anxious and do i tell him i’m having these thoughts to relieve the anxiety?
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