- Date posted
- 1y ago
Harm OCD
Does anyone also get intrusive Thoughts that are targeted to one person. I’m having intrusive thoughts of harming my mom. I definitely don’t want to but the thought kind of just sits in my head all day. Any tips?
Does anyone also get intrusive Thoughts that are targeted to one person. I’m having intrusive thoughts of harming my mom. I definitely don’t want to but the thought kind of just sits in my head all day. Any tips?
Yes very common! I had a period where all my intrusive thoughts were about my brother, the way I combatted it was spending time with him and doing things that I deemed “scary” - like sitting next to him or making food with him standing next to me. Ocd sucks because it’s one of the only disorders where you have to continuously have to put yourself in anxiety provoking situations 😔 but it does get easier once you teach your brain that you don’t care about the thoughts
@LJP05 Did your thoughts stick In your head all day long? And do you have any tips for that? Because it seems like the thoughts are in my head rent free 24/7.
@Anonymous Yes I had them in my head 24/7 for about 6 months, the only way I managed to get them under control was going back to school (so basically just keeping myself occupied), since relapsing with my ocd I’ve started medication which has really helped but also doesn’t help everyone - maybe a good idea to look into! I really just advocate keeping yourself busy and not letting your ocd stop you from doing things you want to do
@LJP05 Yeah tried Prozac but that made me feel like a zombie all day.
Hi there! I struggle with harm OCD too. It’s a horrible hell but I have found a lot of hope and coping strategies that have eased my anxiety. First of all please know that you’re a good person and that your thoughts are just simply thoughts. I recommend reading the book “the wisdom of anxiety” it helped me SO much in understanding my anxiety and intrusive thoughts. In addition to the book I recommend seeking therapy from an OCD therapist who can gently guide you back to yourself. One thing I practice is sitting with the discomfort. Don’t shame yourself or panic yourself into hysteria. I always say “I see you thought and I acknowledge you but I’m going to continue on with what I’m doing” and the more I practice this the less anxiety I felt.. I eventually learned to giggle at them because of how outrageous they are. If you aren’t opposed to medication I’m on Zoloft which has been quite a life saver. I hope these tips help. You’re not crazy and you’re certainly not alone!
I’m so tired of my OCD changing “themes.” And no matter what it changes to, it’s always directed towards a specific person - my mom. My mom and I are very close. I consider her my best friend and we live together. I can share anything with her and she’s very supportive. I’m 32 now, but harm ocd started when I was 15 and she was the main target back then as well. I had a bad flare up this year and the harm thoughts came back, but about a week ago they turned into sexual thoughts. Graphic thoughts and images about incest. These thoughts typically make me feel panic and dread, and just an overall depressed feeling. It has made me uncomfortable to be around my mom, since I can’t even look at her without a sexual thought or image popping up. Even watching a romantic scene in a show, listening a romantic song, etc. My brain wants to put an image of her in my head. Even me fantasizing about a man that I’m attracted to will replace the man with my mom. They just keep popping up. So this of course makes me think I actually want these things, and are actually fantasies. I have started to wonder if I’m in actual denial or that these are my true feelings. I have never been a relationship before due to not having much interest in it plus my mental health issues started as a teen, but someday I would like to get married. But now I’m thinking maybe I’ve never pursued a relationship with someone else because I’m actually in love with my mom and want to be with her, but I can’t so I’m just suppressing my feelings. And I do love my mom, but I question myself is this just platonic or familial love? Also questioning our relationship in general now - is it unhealthy or too dependent? It makes me feel doubt, since I have never really been in love before with someone else so I have nothing to compare it to. Always just crushes or finding a man attractive, and I identify as straight. But I also have not thought of my mom in a sexual way before, so I’m hoping this is just my OCD acting up. Even thinking about a future relationship with a man is making me feel nervous, since I think if I have feelings for my mom, will I ever be able to be in a serious relationship someday? If I’m with someone will I actually just picture her? It makes me feel hopeless, like I can’t help how I feel and what if these things are true? Would I act on them? My brain even made me think, “you want to ask your mom to be in a sexual relationship with you and/or want her to ask you.” I feel like such a pervert for writing that, like a truly disgusting person. I know I don’t want these things to be true, but what if they are and I can’t help how I feel? Again just feel doubt and uncertainty, that I’m in denial, and not to mention just feeling like a very sick individual.
This may upset some people reading so here is just a warning that these are disturbing I don’t know what to do to make the bad thoughts stop. My mom recently had a baby, my little brother. I wasn’t exactly happy about this pregnancy, but I have nothing against my brother. He’s adorable and silly. Nothing against him. But I feel like these thoughts bug me because what if deep down I do resent him because I didn’t want my mom to have another kid? What if I did act on these things because I hate him? What if I just lose it and do something? It’s all so illogical, I know. Never would I ever want to do that. But there’s times I’m watching him for a few minutes for my mom and my brain just shows me an awful scene of me brutally hurting him or killing him. Or I’ll be holding him and my brain shows me a scene where I purposefully drop him or I just hurt him so badly. I’ll be walking near him and my brain tells me I’m going to stomp on him. It shows me such bad things. I have intrusive thoughts all the time, but this is different because there’s a semi good reason I “could” do it. That being, I wasn’t happy about the pregnancy. And it scares me. I’ve started crying because I was so scared it was going to happen. I have to back up away from him or sit down so there’s no way I can do anything. I feel horrible. I don’t want to hurt him. And I’m so scared I will. But I won’t. I’m hoping this makes sense to others who struggle with this. Because to anyone else who’s never gone through these things I’ll sound insane. And sound like a psychopath. Thanks for reading. Any help would be appreciated.
I’m having a very bad evening with my intrusive thoughts. I was doing really good dealing with them but tonight one hit me hard. I’ve been having a lot of different intrusive thoughts but I’ll have one occasionally about hurting my mom or my dog who I love and they’re the only family I have in my life. They’re my world. I was helping my mom put away the dishes and I had the big kitchen knife in my hand and my intrusive thought was you could stab your mom. And then my brain said I had a twitch in my hand and that meant I wanted to do it. Let me just say that I wouldn’t hurt a fly. I actually caught a fly in a glass and put it outside instead of killing it this evening before this intrusive thought happened. I’m such a gentle and compassionate and caring person and these thoughts instantly cause me to have a panic attack. And I have no one to talk to them about. I know they’re hard for my mom to hear and I don’t want to be any more of a burden than I already am. I do desperately want to tell her and have her reassure me that I’m not crazy or a psycho. Then my thoughts wander to if your hand did flinch could you be a psychopath. Is hurting someone in you. I know it’s not but I feel like my mind is out to get me and hurt me. I’m working so hard and I thought I was doing so good but I need to know why I have these thoughts. They’re not ok. I need someone to help me make sense of why. I know we aren’t supposed to ruminate but I shouldn’t have thoughts like this about people I love and care about the most in the world.
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