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Username: NeverGiveUp

Date posted: 46w ago

Checking porn

I hate it so much because I'm not homophobic but I just don't want a y if this. My whole childhood and up to before this started I was disgusted by gay porn I never thought it was wrong it just wasn't for me and I was obsessed and loved the idea of being with a woman sexually. I've only crushed on women irl and only wanted to be with women the most towards a guy is I've found them aesthetically handsome but never wanted sex or crushed on them. When I check gay porn now I feel arousal but in my stomach I feel pain because I don't want it or like it. When I get arousal towards women I feel good, butterflies I want to do it in real life and I seek out a romantic and sexual partner I just don't get it why am I getting arousal response when I don't actually like it or want to do it in real life? It's so uncomfortable and depressing I feel like I'm losing myself cuz being straight has always been a big part of my identity and loving women.

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: Hi🫶Hi🫶

Date posted: 46w ago

Hey, I understand what you’re going through and it might be groinal response and OCD create that in presence of triggers. Also, personally I was like you, I watched porn where there was only women and sometime only men when I was younger (I’m a girl), and this worried me a lot and in the end I went to a therapist and I can assure you I’m not a lesbian. So don’t worry about it, this “arousal” is happening because it’s an obsession now but it will pass with time :) Good luck!

Username: star1232star1232

Date posted: 45w ago

@Hi🫶 Did watch solo felmale too,?

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 28d ago

ehh idk about that

Username: zebravazebrava

Date posted: 46w ago

Because the idea of not being straight is so scary, that's why it's so triggering. I know it's hard, but think about how you'd be the same person even if you were gay. I'm doing the same checking, expect I'm bi , but afraid I'm actually gay. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I feel attraction to women in porn, my mind doesn't believe it. When I held hands and danced with a girl, that seemed to bring some silence, for a while - I think it's partly because we watch too much porn.

Related posts

Username: LV4523

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 25w ago

I’m backtracking hard today. I just got into a spiral because when I was younger I would be aroused watching lesbian kissing videos. I just watched some to test myself and felt like it was a hot video. I don’t think I have a desire to do this in real life, but I feel back to square one right now and am ruminating / testing all over again. I can admit that I think it was hot and that sexuality is a spectrum. But I just can’t stop obsessing about what this means about me today. I feel sick to my stomach!

Sexual Orientation OCD

Username: ninkaninga

Date posted: 24w ago

I have no idea if this is just OCD and I’m actually just straight or i was in denial my whole life. Now it feels so scary, i feel like im realizing my true self, that ive always been gay, that im just using SO-OCD as a cover up. IT FEELS SO REAL. I even feel like others with SO-OCD dont experience this feeling and i must experience something different. Its literally a feeling like an urge to admit myself that I’m gay and it even feels like i know im gay and i was using OCD as a cover up for 6 years. I cant even describe that feeling. When i try to imagine myself with a girl in my mind it makes me feel like i like that thought like i want it😔 It feels all very very real. I think you guys with SOOCD have different feelings and you actually have OCD. I dont want these thoughts. I dont want to be gay, i dont want to feel this. But maybe i was my whole life in denial. 😭😭

Username: Fr0ggy

Date posted: 24w ago

This post will be for people 18+ and it is a topic on sexual attraction, if you are comfortable you can read but it’s completely up to you. I know I’m not the only woman that watches lesbian love for pleasure as we are all humans and our hormones go up. I’ve been watching lesbian love for years now (about 3 years) and in most of that time, not once did I question my sexuality until someone asked me a question that triggered my overthinking. Today after watching that, I was asking myself questions like what it would feel like to do this with a woman? How would it feel like to be with one? And because these thoughts came to my mind I freaked out because I keep thinking that I like females but never in my life and even till this day have I ever fallen in love with a women or even thought about marrying a women one day. I always want to have a husband one day and at least have a kid or two. But lately all this questioning has me confused to the point where I question if I’m bi or lesbian and if I even have SOOCD or if it’s generally just me tryna figure out my sexuality or if I’m just in denial. I am also talking to a man romantically and whenever I’m around him I feel happy and I’m always excited to talk to him and he also makes my heart flutter and my body burn for him. But because of these recent thoughts I’ve been having, it just confuses me and adds some stress. Any tips for how I can go about this?

Sexual Orientation OCD

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