What do you do when you questioned something about God or thought something bad about Him and now fear that He will never forgive you, especially since you still have doubts and questions about Him?
God will always forgive you. We’re all sinners but he loves you so much no matter what. Never feel like he doesn’t love you, he loves you so so much.
I struggle with the exact same thing… I have religous OCD. Think about Thomas the disciple. He was a doubter… so many people Jesus chose doubted him, before christ people who faithfully followed God at times doubted him. This is where your faith comes in. We are human and its hard to control your thoughts, we often have wondering minds. But questioning and doubting as a believer is not unforgivable but instead a chance to lean into him and trust, pray through it and strengthen our faith. Iv had very bad hateful intrusive thoughts about the holy trinity, and it was terrifying and painful, but i don’t want those things and i don’t believe those things. I just pray, repent of all knowing sins, ask for conviction, and keep loving and trusting him. God always knows the true us, not what OCD thoughts make us believe about ourselves.
Look up scrupulosity it will help you. Jamie at scrupolosity.com and Mark DeJesus on you tube were tremendous help. I also loved the book I believe in Love by Fr.Jean C.J. D’Elbee
TW Religious OCD TW Racism I’ll try to make this somewhat quick, but there is some doubt to this memory, but I’ll say what I know. For one, I have had an obsession with doing bad prayers. Secondly, this is not just normal intrusive thoughts. My main fear was a racist prayer. Unfortunately, my brain found the perfect pathway for this. I was so afraid of a prayer being racist, that if all people of color suddenly died, I would feel so guilty, that I could attempt suicide (I was already suicidal). Unfortunately, this was something I could selfishly want, because of the suicide aspect. I feel like the best thing I can compare it to, is someone who is suicidal, who selfishly wouldn’t be upset if a meteor hit earth or something, cause they wouldn’t be at fault and they wouldn’t die. Or someone who is suicidal who selfishly would be ok with World War 3, because it could mean that they died, and there’s nothing for them to personally feel guilty about if it wasn’t their fault. My brain one day came up with something. If I prayed for something bad to happen, it would be my fault. But what if in the conditions of the prayer, for it to happen, I was magically at NO fault at all. Basically like the meteor scenario. What if everything was completely devoid of guilt. All of the sudden I feel like I became ok with it, prayed for it, and IMMEDIATELY regretted it, but knew what I was doing when I did it. I don’t know if this makes any sense, but I’m pretty sure I quickly prayed for this, and then regretted it. The issue is, I don’t know how much influence ocd had over me when I did it. I mean, ocd did have an influence in putting together that scenario at first. It put together the WORST possible scenario in a way I could mean it could think of. I can’t completely remember how it happened. If it did happen, and it was my fault, how should I approach it? I feel horrible about it. Unfortunately, I am a bit worried it could happen again. Is this something I should forgive myself for? I know it’s terrible. Another option my mind presents is making myself feel as awful as possible consistently. Unfortunately, that leads to more issues. I’m very confused about this whole scenario, and I don’t think it is all intrusive thoughts. I do believe that ocd deliberately set me up in a scenario where I could pray for something awful, but I also believe I prayed for it and meant it when I did.
Yesterday I kept thinking about something sad about God like yk when you feel disappointed in God sometimes :( so I had just gotten a really bad thought of God turning into a demon …. And it felt like like I was thinking it for a sec like intentionally… and I quickly started to panic and feel really bad bc I Love God a lot but I’m afraid I committed the Unforgivable sin aka blasphemy my brain gets to addicted to think about certain things I can’t think about
Does anyone feel like god didn't forgive them even after confessing? Doing alot of sins and confessed but still have this fear of thoughts telling you you had so bad Thoughts about him and that you don't deserve to be forgiven? Or it's too late? And anything religious triggers you?
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