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How can I tell the difference between suicidal ocd and suicidal thoughts?

I’ve been diagnosed with ocd but sometimes I think I’m faking or I don’t actually, but idk if that’s the ocd tricking me or if it’s true

I’ve been struggling with relationship OCD and differentiating between what is an intrusive thought and what is a real doubt. I was really happy with my partner then I got one aggressive thought that I didn’t love him and this spiralled into noticing all his flaws. I struggle being around him because I feel a huge sense of guilt that these thoughts even come into my head and I cannot figure out if this is my brain lying to me or this is how I feel. It’s really impacting a relationship that is so important to me.