Starting my OCD journey tomorrow with NOCD. I’m so ready to get tips and tricks and send this OCD Flying out of the park! Anyone with suicidal OCD that’s newly starting and want to chat?
I have suicidal ocd and it is so hard!
@emmaelliott21 Do you have instagram? We could chat!
@JessieB Sure, it’s emmaelliott21
@emmaelliott21 Just requested you!
Currently struggling with this. I’m 4 months postpartum from my daughter and just moved to Hawaii. My thoughts are so overpowering of suicide, but then I’m like “I would never do this, I’m so happy, what is happening why am I thinking this” and I usually always get random thoughts of “how would I do it” and then I go “I wouldn’t do it because I don’t want to die”…. Pls tell me I’m not crazy haha
@KenzieRae96 Yep! That’s how the old brain is tricking us. Right now I barely get thoughts unless I find myself looking for them. But I do have the terrible anxiety everyday.
Pretty new to NOCD but very new to this particular theme 🥲
@Anonymous Yea it’s a real pain in the rump roast!
@JessieB No joke! I reallllly despise this one. I've been obsessed with worrying I have depression
@Anonymous Same! Exact same. My most troubling thought has been why are you making appointments, planning future events, buying stuff. My brain did the why do that you won’t be here. Now I don’t even get the thought. I just get a zing of anxiety. So dumb! Errrrrrr
@JessieB YES! man ocd is so unoriginal lol like I will be tired (from something totally explainable like poor sleep night before or hormones) and I will think "omg...they say ppl with depression have fatigue, it must be that" and spiral
@Anonymous Yep!!!! When I get anxiety I want to lay on the couch and relax. And first thing I think it’s welp! You prolly have depression. 🤦🏼♀️🙄
@JessieB Literally same. I saw a news story friday about a woman that committed suicide bc she had post partum depression and I spent the weekend crying bc I told myself I couldn't have children then in the case I ever develope that. My husband is very understanding but even he was like "honey...cmon" lol
@Anonymous Oh yes. The poor husbands lol. Mine too. He now does the “I’m not gonna reassure you.” lol. Perinatal OCD is when I first realized my thoughts were intrusive. Very scary. But I think I just ignored them and they went away. That was 11 years ago. So not really sure. I do remember googling my thoughts bc it scared the 💩 outta me.
@JessieB Ugh I remember the first moments when I realized I was getting scared of my own brain. If you want to chat more about it you're welcome to dm me on insta! mo.millan 😊
@Anonymous Will do!!!
@Anonymous Sent a request!
@Anonymous SAME. how are you now?
@Anonymous Oh my god, you have no idea how much i relate to that thought
@IN01 The key to winning over OCD is to not give two shits what it says. Just brush it off and go on. Once you don’t care what it has to say it goes away and YOU WIN.
Hey! It's definitely a really hard one and probably the scariest one I've gone through. My main theme is health related but out of no where the suicide theme came up. I'm glad you're in therapy, it changed my life and my therapist saved my life. You got this, trust in yourself and remember all of the tools they will teach you to help manage this. I went from being terrified of being alone and feeling trapped in my own mind to feeling like myself and feeling a lot more prepared when shit hits the fan!
I’m new to treatment and only realized I have OCD a few months ago. I went through a tough and abusive marriage and ended up getting divorced. I had my first panic attack several years ago and ended up needing to go on Lexapro. This helped me significantly and allowed me to leave my partner. Several years later and I decided to stop Lexapro because I thought I was good to go. I’m in a very healthy relationship, have a great job, friends/family, go to the gym and have a wonderful life. It’s been about a year off the meds and I’ve had some panic, but I’ve been able to manage it. For some reason, the last three weeks has been really difficult for me. I have different spirals and different thought processes: what if I’m schizophrenic? What if I have a deeper mental disorder? What if I hurt someone? What if I need to leave my partner? What if I end up becoming so depressed that I end up hurting myself? My brain just goes from one what if to the next and once I conquer one, the next one pops up with even more intensity. I started taking NAC and inositol and I’m taking saffron during the day because I really don’t wanna go on back on medication but sometimes my thoughts scare me and I’m convinced that I’m not gonna get better and I know that’s just the OCD loop, but I’m wondering if this resonates with anyone else!
I’ve recently been struggling a lot with OCD. I have had OCD for a long time I just didn’t realize it until more recently. About seven months ago I developed panic attacks one day randomly at work. I thought I was having a heart attack and went to the hospital where they told me it was just a panic attack and I assumed I would snap out and be better within a few days. However it didn’t. Here’s where it gets scary, I was staying at my then boyfriends house while dealing with blurry vision, anxiety attacks everyday, and more (unsure of what was going on). But at some point I saw my bfs (pew pew 🔫) on his table and it sent me into an anxiety attack after sudden thoughts that I was going to hurt myself with it. I begged him to put it away when I’m not looking so I didn’t know where he put it. He did. These thoughts lasted for about four days but began to go away. (I thought that was it and I would be back to normal). Unfortunately though I ended up moving back in with my family when we couldn’t get my panic attacks under control in time for me to get back to work and pay bills. However, coming home brought up a lot of trauma from when I was kid. My anxiety got worse but I didn’t have those thoughts again. About two and half months ago though, I got sick and went to the hospital where they gave me steroid pills and a steroid shot but sent me into some kind of psychiatric event. Ever since then though, I have been suffering from harm OCD, I have had moments of intense anger that I usually have to completely walk away and go on my own because of how intense they are, and it feels like it’s getting worse. Today I felt fine until about and hour and half ago where I started to dwell on the fact that my suicidal thought was influenced by my OCD and at the moment my OCD is at the worst it’s been. This caused me to get suddenly really depressed and I started crying thinking about how I can’t handle this. I then saw a post talking about how suicide rates are high for people with this form of OCD and it made me question if I am mentally strong enough to pull through this. I fear that at times I’m getting worse. I have good days but I have a lot of bad days. Unfortunately this sent me into such a bad panic attack I went over to my nanas crying about how I can’t deal with this. I took a 0.25 mg Xanax which helped calm down the panic attack portion of it but my brain is still uncomfortably active. I guess I just need hope. I’m so saddened by this. It’s like my life took a total 360 in 10 months and got even worse since the steroid shot. Idk what to do about it. I can’t stop the spiral. I talk to two different therapist weekly and start more next week, making it 5 times a week. I feel no improvements…
I’ll be starting NOCD therapy on Monday, any words of advice?
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