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Ohhh here we go again. So I have an obsession that I am the devil? So annoying. The delusions are getting ridiculous. But I am concerned I have schizo-obsessive.

I don’t really know what’s going on today but I’m relapsing hard into wanting to self harm. I haven’t since I was a teenager but ive just got this itch under my skin and it almost hurts more than actually doing it would. I don’t know what to do, all the tips aren’t working. I can’t just do it either because I had a therapist who told me people who self harm go to hell. I just need to get this feeling out of me and I don’t know what to do. I’m not sure why it’s happening. I feel like I need to be punished for something but I don’t know what I did wrong. I guess this is mostly venting but if anyone has some alternatives to self punishment I’d appreciate it. Most of the tips I’ve seen have been for other types of self harm so none of it is really helping. I’ll probably delete this in a bit I just want to get it out. I can’t talk with anyone about it and I don’t see my therapist until th weekend

No matter what task I’m doing. If I have an intrusive thought I have to redo the task or just just completely move on to something else. I’m Christian and I struggle with scrupulosity. I feel like I have to repeat task to keep everyone safe. I’m tired of this. I know ERP is the key and I have to stand up to the thoughts but they are just so scary. I know God is with me and I’m suppose to have faith but again I’m just so scared. I can’t even fully go into detail about my theme because I don’t want to type it out. I’m in therapy and I’m told to lean into the discomfort but it just seems like an impossible thing for me to do.

I was good with my themes kinda, and then I felt the ocd switch so that was expected. But this one feels different, since my ocd I’ve been more accepting of gay people, I believe in God and that he created life and people as they are, and don’t believe that it’s necessarily wrong to be gay, but my boyfriend believes that being gay is a sin, he’s not discriminating or disrespectful to anyone. He has never let it impact the way it treats anyone like ever. This topic has only come up in conversation like twice in the 4 years we’ve been together and both times it was while I had soocd so it felt super sensitive to talk about. But now, I’m grasping more with seeing him as his own person again and not comfort for my ocd, so my ocd is clinging onto this one difference between us and it truly feels now like this is a dealbreaker, even though this has never impacted our relationship together at all. It wouldn’t impact the way we raise our kids or treat other people but just the fact that he thinks that makes me ocd think it’s enough that I’ll want to find someone else with the same view as me. I know deep down I don’t want to break up because when I’m not focused on this flaw, I feel happy and in tune with him. Does anyone have any advice ?:(

I feel like I dont have control of what I say in my head that I feel like it's not me saying those things. I was trying to pray and I was cursing at God and the spirit and now I'm scared because I feel like it's me and not an intrusive thought. I have an appointment later and I was trying to pray about that in my head but now that I did that I feel like things will go wrong .

And doing the next thing on my to do list when I’m feeling down really helps. (And avoiding Google, Reddit, YouTube, calling people for reassurance). This is soooooo hard to do sometimes. In fact, it’s painful!!!!! My brain is on fire. But I ask myself, “do you want to get better, or do you want to get worse?” And then, I tell myself, “okay then, you want to get better. Then, move forward!!!! What’s the next thing in your to do list?” (To do list could be: take a walk, clean, exercise, watch tv show, work, budget, write a grocery list, etc.) it really, really helps. It takes time… be patient!!! Persevere! your brain will heal! If you need to have someone in your life who asks you these questions, (I wrote them down below, again, in case you want them laid out very neatly and nicely!!!) … have them do it! I know a lady whose husband asks her these questions right when she is in the middle of an ocd crisis. She is better now. It does take time. It’s painful. But it works. You guys! Take ownership of this and move forward! What are the things you want to do when you’re better? Make a list! Start them! One day at a time. Don’t overthink it. Do the next thing that is really obviously snd really clearly something you should do. Ask God for help. “Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.” Hey! Also! Eating carnivore diet also helps my mental health. I watch one video a day about carnivore to stay motivated. Getting outside, 30 min in the sun daily! You can do this! I’ve had about 100 panic attacks in the past three years. Terrors, fears of going to psych ward. Those fears were so not true! I don’t need and didn’t need to go to the psych ward! At the time I really felt like I did! I’m better now. The above helped! You’re NOT crazy! You just have a really oversensitive conscience, which means you’re amazing! You’re probably also highly intelligent! (You have one of the eight great smarts… people smart, or self smart, etc). The man with the highest IQ in the world says that really smart people struggle with mental health more than others. Leave the gray areas behind… the past…. The confusing things… the worries about your mistakes…. Leave them behind. They don’t define you! That’s not your identity. You will do whatever you think you are. So who are you? (I.e., who do you want to be?) you are not your OCD. OCD is a real challenge in your life, and it makes life SO much harder. But it’s not your identity. Whatever fears your OCD gives you, those are not your identity either. What is your identity? Think about it. For me, Ephesians 1 answers that question. I was born again; Jesus died for me! He bought me with His blood. I am a daughter of the King! Psalm 45. So I will clean my room! I will carry myself with dignity, even if I have hurt my own reputation and hurt relationships in my life, and there are people who are so confused by how I’ve been acting these past three years. There is always time for a new start. My past doesn’t define me. I will move forward. I will sing and record a song on YouTube to encourage others. I will help my friend who has cancer. I will write a friend who is lonely and encourage her. I will read my Bible. I will exercise. I will behave like the daughter of the King, and put on makeup cause it’s like I’m royalty (even if no one else knows, and I don’t look like it; but God knows!) Move forward in what is clear. Maybe you need to brush your teeth right now. Do it! Your identity is that you are deserving of a life with purpose, meaning, and you are loved and valued! You are a human being that is precious. You are unique and have things to offer to this world that no one else can. Oh, and have fun! Watch a fun show like Alone! Relax… just stop being so hard on yourself! You’re doing great! You’ve made such wise and cautious decisions your whole life because you have ocd. Nobody needs to approve of you… Imagine me sitting right in front of you, and telling you this in a very firm and kind voice. I understand how you feel, but…. 1. Do you want to get better, or do you want to get worse? 2. If you want to get better, then…. Move forward. Move forward. Move forward. (I know! It’s really, really, really hard. I know it hurts. I know there is SO MUCH PAIN IN YOUR BRAIN RIGHT NOW. And all you want to do is seek someone’s reassurance. But they will just make it worse for you.) Sooo… 3. What’s the next thing in your to do list? Don’t overthink what should be on there. Do the next thing. Do the next thing. Do the next thing. You will get better. You can heal.

i woke up with my heart racing this morning. i feel like the Lord wouldn’t treat me that way. i feel guilty and i feel like i just keep messing up at every step in my walk w the Lord. i literally just woke up feeling bad. i hadn’t even done anything. i had just opened my eyes!! i’m glad i got called into work so i can do something to take my mind off of the thoughts.

- can’t go to sleep without lipgloss on (my body will not let me physically gts until my lips are moisturized ) - can’t drink coke or eat too much junk food without my head telling me im going to get liver failure or stomach cancer from the unhealthy food - feeling like i’m going to have a heart attack (this one i developed from a physical form because they asked me if i had heart problems and i remembered my grandma died from a heart attack) - my head will eat with alive if i don’t scrub my skin hard enough when u shower because i cannot have dead skin - feeling forced to drink water (i quite literally feel like i’m dying off the slightest feeling of thirst) - diagnosing every single body sensation ( im convinced i have over 30+ diagnoses) - having a bad grade ( it hurts my chest literally) - being mean (i swear the energy comes back to me and haunts me for life) - finding a solution to literally everything (it hurts not to know the real) - fear of smoking (this is probably the stupidest thing ever but i’m afraid of catching an obsession from smoking then dying from it..) - having kids (just what if my body isn’t good enough and i end up risking me n the child’s life ? yk ?) - caramel frappes (i feel like the shittest person ever after drinking one and i feel like IM no longer healthy) - GREASE ( i cannot feel grease in any way while im eating because i will no longer eat the food) - any discomfort in my shoe (i will take it off from the tightness and walk barefoot if i have to) - bra (so since im convinced that there’s something wrong with me , wearing a bra that feels just a tiny bit tight, makes me forget how to breath and suddenly im dying) - my bed/room (my bed must be made and my room must be clean otherwise i cannot focus) - praying (although i don’t pray every night i feel like god thinks i’m a bad person or not worshiping him enough whenever i don’t pray or remember i didn’t) - the bible (i got trauma from it and i feel bad that i got trauma for it so im scared to read it but im scared more of the trauma it caused me) - the doctors (i don’t want any test done to me cus im afraid of something bad but i need reassurance for the sake of my sanity) - the united states of fcking america (i seriously hate living in this country because everything is a lie so i don’t feel safe here) - the food in the united states of fcking america (well mostly everything is processed and even healthy food are being pre waxed so they look “good” and it scares me so i think everything is not healthy) - tik tok (bro i cant with the diagnosis videos anymore) - what ever i do to one thing that has another thing must be done to the other thing or i cant live with myself - my nails ( im not mentally okay if my toe nails are long ..) - everyone except my bf/not bf yet (as a pre psychology student, i study and analyze everyone so i can see everyone’s red flag) - the kids at my school (the drama that has no end but no reason is my 13th reason…) - smells ( you don’t know how fast i can light a candle until you know me) - medication (it gives me more anxiety than my actual anxiety)

Anyone else feel that when they aren’t experiencing a theme that their ocd is almost non existent. It almost makes me feel like I’ve been faking it, and also makes me feel ridiculous for obsessing over things. I feel sorry for myself :/ I know that my themes are valid and felt very real in the moment, but after I “get over” them I just can’t believe that I was obsessing over something that either wasn’t true or didn’t apply to me. I would also like to know how to prevent themes from reoccurring. Health, religion and existential OCD themes tend to take turns throughout my life, I just didn’t know that was it ocd. Trying to break the cycle.

Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw So I was on TikTok and just scrolling and I hit this search of hell simulation and I started to think I’m going to be there eventually so while I do believe in a higher supreme being … I don’t necessarily believe in the Christian beliefs … all that being said … I just feel like I should mask my true self so I end up going to heaven … but God also knows when you’re being dishonest and not your true self that’s also a sin … so it’s a lose lose situation ugh religion is so stressful

So my ocd theme changed to sexual orientation ocd last December after I heard a popular video "hi, I'm Gibby" and I went like the Gibby sounds like "gay", then I started saying the phrase and over days, I started getting intrusive thoughts "I'm gay" .(I have had other ocd themes: (magical thinking ocd, symmetry ocd, health concern ocd, religious and spirituality ocd and harm ocd ever since I was 12, they just come and go)....I struggle with other conditions(ASD and bipolar disorder). I have never struggled with sexuality or questioned it because I have only liked males right from when I was in grade 1🥲...I still like them. SO-OCD is very frustrating because deep down I know I'm straight and there's no evidence I'm not but the intrusive thoughts and compulsions to get relief (the cycle) won't stop. I'm on fluoxetine(Prozac) and it did help my symptoms but lately I realised I'm more consumed with compulsions and idk but I think it's reducing the effects of the drugs?.. I see an attractive female and my mind goes like you found her attractive you must be gay or I want to go out and do sumn"what if you discover you like them or are gay" ...idk it's frustrating, very and I'm tired. I don't even get turned on by same sex or any😭that what even makes it more confusing.+ It's almost like I'm now hypervigilant when Watching videos or Instagram reels...it making me forget that finding someone physically attractive≠sexual attraction...idk if anyone gets me...(Rn my ocd themes are SO-OCD and religious and spirituality ocd) SO-OCD is frustrating, I'm tireddd...how can I never have struggled with sexuality for almost a decade and half but I'm having it now(it's started two months ago)...who has had/have this theme??

I have been told that what I have is OCD, but sometimes I doubt it and scare myself and say what if it’s not, what if it’s actually a curse, what if I have to do what my brain wants me to do? I’m scared and I think my period is affecting me really bad.

I'm Christian and I struggle with being close to god a lot but lately I just feel like I will never near a full relationship with god because of this not only that my heart physically hurts because I think about how I want god to allow me to get married and have kids but I don't think that's his will for me I feel like it will never happen and my heart hurts thinking about it and even if god does allow that blessing to come my way l'm afraid I'm going to end up hurting my husband or committing adultery and I'm afraid how he would react to my past and old relationship and ocd I don't think it will ever go away not because I don't think god is powerful enough I know he is I just think he wants that to be my story for the glory of his name and because it keeps me close to him idk I just my heart hurts thinking about not being married and not having kids but l'm trying to accept that in case that isn't his will for me it just really hurts my heart physically im thinking of starting therapy but im scared it wont do anything or God will get upset with me that I couldn’t do it with just him i got put back on pills and im gonna end up going back to therapy i get afraid of death and other things now idk I just don’t wanna upset god

I feel awful. I feel like I’ve received a test from God and failed. I got a groinal response while looking through instagram and saw a picture of a kid. I turned my screen off and laid in bed and I tried to recreate the feeling. I twitched my hips a bit, trying to see if it was real arousal, but now I feel like I don’t deserve to feel better and I’m convinced I am going to hell and will burn for what I’ve done. There was no joy or true desire there, but still, what kind of person does that? I thought OCD meant avoid avoid avoid, that’s not what I did. I don’t feel like a can wait another whole day before my session. Has any else had a similar experience? How do you forgive yourself and keep going when you feel like this?

i cannot go to therapy cause my parents don’t really “believe” in mental recovery, so i’d like to get some advices. i want these thoughts to leave my mind, i worry whether there is an afterlife or not, actually i believe in a material afterlife even tho i’m not religious but i obsessively think “will i get depressed/bored in a trillion years? will me and my bf break up in a trillion years? i love gifts, but in a trillion years i will have too much objects where do i put them??” and other extremely overwhelming thoughts like “i won’t remember this beautiful memory in a lot of years” and when i need to do something i ask myself "what's the point of this? will i remember this?" this is terrifying and i think about this every single moment with a lot of anxiety seems that a lot of people believe in reincarnation and that name is something you choose for yourself but this means that my mom is not my mom and she didn’t choose my name? please help me it’s difficult to react differently to these thoughts and don’t ruminate, i also have to study and this is so hard..i stayed home from school for 3 days because i was having panic attacks 24/7 and couldn’t study for tests, but i stopped with compulsions 5 days ago (aka searching answers about afterlife on reddit) and i feel like i’m way better, but i still have thoughts i mean, is this ocd? seems like im the only one i can't enjoy happy moments anymore and im scared, i often think that life is useless pointless and unfair, idk how 2 months ago i was able to live my life without thinking about the after..i only took my NOW life into consideration and had intrusive thoughts about my boyfriend..seems so weird to me now what i have to do? some techniques or idk? i never would have thought i would say this, but i miss ROCD, seems like my mental problems/ocd themes in this 3 years are only becoming worse and worse p.s. does drinking chamomile during the day and lemon balm at night help? cause i’m starting to drink this A LOT daily

❤️we all just want it to be over already, but do not set a deadline for your recovery (e.g. "i give myself 3 months to get better") and let yourself go at your own pace ❤️accept that healing is a very, very non-linear process with highs and very dark lows.. it's a lifelong process for us those with ocd, when you stop suffering you start learning ! ❤️WITHOUT ruminating on this, identify the root of your obsessive themes. they hurt so much because they go after your deepest wounds. clearing out the fear or pain that stands at the base of your obsessions will help (e.g. my sexual ocd came as an emotional outlet for my inability to accept a new family member in my life) (e.g. my solipsism ocd came from the deep fear of being alone and abandoned) ❤️the truth will always surface. even if you have no hope anymore and not even asking for reassurance helps, put that last bit of your trust in the other people that are in good states of mind and who are trying to help you. remember that you're living by a distorted mind and if you can't trust your own brain, have trust in others. those who love you are your life net when you're down in the slumps. trust me. ❤️ocd can be caused by chemical imbalance. if you feel like you need it, don't be reluctant to try medication. it's important to have the correct dose and the correct meds. it may change a lot before finally being effective, but it can help A LOT. it was lifesaving for me. (I personally took 125 mg sertraline at 14 years old) ❤️cliche, but the exposure part of erp is in you already. we get exposed to relentless obsessions and terrors already by our minds, our part is the response prevention. throw yourself into the depths of uncertainty and fear by refusing to act upon your compulsions. any learned behavior can be unlearned, our brains are changing! 🧠 it does feel like we can't risk because we can't "know for sure" and we better be safe than sorry, right? well, screw this. unlearn these behavior and live life your own way. ❤️connect with other people with ocd. community is our pillar as humans, especially those communities who share our suffering. ❤️we tend to ask for reassurance a lot and other just reassure us because it's rational to them, not being aware thar it only causes us more pain as we have distoerted thinking. teach your loved ones to respond to your reassurance in a way that doesn't feed the cycle. (e.g. reassurance seeking- "hey, are you ABSOLUTELY SURE that I didn't hit an animal on the way back home??" ❌️wrong response- "no, you didn't, I already told you, I don't remember hearing or seeing anything!" ✅️better response- "I can see you are really distressed right now, why don't we go cook something together/watch a movie/paint together/etc.." ❤️keep your faith close to you. there is something bigger around us that surrounds us with love and takes care of us. even if you don't believe in a god, spirituality goes beyond religion. for me, this higher being was the sky, and everytime I saw the giant clouds I'd tell myself that they felt my emotions and they're watching over in my suffering. strangely enough, this pillar i built in the clouds was strong and really did give me a helping hand. who's to tell these connections we make are not real?

Hello everyone. I was just wanting to post on here regarding a situation that I have been dealing with for a few months now. I have been taking my walk with Christ seriously for about a year now and ever since I started I’ve noticed a bunch of intrusive thoughts and it’s caused me much distress. It all started back in June of 2024. I missed a church service because my wife and I were taking care of our daughter and I went to a Best But store and upgraded my old Apple Watch to a new one. I felt like doing so I committed idolatry because I went and bought that instead of going to church. I felt immense guilt for doing so and the next day I cancelled my order. I thought that maybe I was over thinking the entire thing so I went ahead and placed a new order and got the watch. For two weeks after getting the watch, I ruminated about whether I should keep it or not. It didn’t feel right with me and was overwhelmed with guilt for having it and it was debilitated with anxiety and stress. Eventually I decided I would just give it back so I went to go return it on the last day I could do so only to find out I could not. I thought that was a sign from God that I could keep it. I felt the most relief after that that I had experienced in quite awhile but then the next day after I started have thoughts again thinking that I didn’t try hard enough to return it and that I’m some how putting it before God. Well eventually I came to terms that there was nothing I could do about it and I was able to stop worrying about it being an idol. Well my mind jumped from that to another thing in my life and this one has been harder to get over. I have been on hair loss medication for 7 years and I had a thought one day telling me that “if I’m a true follower of Christ, then I shouldn’t take the medicine because I’m placing too much importance on my looks” I again felt immense anxiety and dread and tried fighting these thoughts away but could not help but think” what if it is and this is conviction of the Holy spirit”? I would constantly look up online any answers I could find to help relieve my anxiety but I can’t. I pray to God all the time for his will to be done in this situation and sometimes I feel better but then it all comes back. It’s hard for me to read the Bible because there’s so much about idolatry I always feel like it’s God talking to me like it’s a sign or if I’m just taking it that way? I asked God to show give me an answer about this situation and a day later a YouTuber I follow posted a video about removing idols from our lives. I felt that was God speaking to me or wasn’t sure maybe it was a coincidence? I just feel so cornered and out under so much pressure on what to do. Of course I would like to keep taking my medicine because it has helped me but then I have thoughts that tell me it is an idol because I am not able to give it up. I cut back taking the medicine a lot more often over the last months but I don’t know if this is God telling me to do so or my own mind. Like if I want to keep my hair I believe God allows healing through medication and it’s a gift. But these thoughts are telling me that I rely on taking it and it’s an idol and that unless I give it up completely I’m not following God’s will and it’s an idol. It’s caused immense doubt because then I read Romans 14 and it says anything you do with doubt is sin because it’s not of faith. I feel like I’m being attacked and cornered because I’m forced to stop taking something that has helped me. Now I have thoughts telling me to stop wearing my retainers every night because I got Invisalign a few years back to fix my teeth and that unless I stop taking my medication and wearing my retainers I’m not authentically following God. I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t want to go against God and I don’t want to commit idolatry. I know God is all loving so I doubt this is all coming from him. I have to take/wear these things daily for them to work and the ocd will twist that in saying they are idols because of that and I just feel so cornered and defeated. I try to find things constantly online to see if anyone else has similar issues but I can’t. I know this is a long post but just trying to get some clarity on the matter. What should I do to help my situation?

I have had anxiety episodes on and off for most of my life, and when I was 28 I went to the doctor's and was diagnosed with GAD. I'm currently in therapy as well. But sometimes I wonder if my GAD is actually Pure OCD. One of the main themes of my anxiety at the moment is the fear of death and dying. This is how my thought processes typically work: I'll see someone (eg my parents or other family members), and then I think about their age. If they are old, this sets me thinking morbid thoughts, eg worrying that the person may die within a few years. If they are younger than me, I feel sad that I'll never be that young again. Then it sets me off thinking about how I myself am getting older. Then I worry about how I'll feel when I'm older. For example, I think "when I'm in my 70s or 80s will I be constantly worried about dying?" and "will I be able to enjoy myself when I'm old or will I be too worried?" (Here I'm actually worried that I'll be worried when I'm older - ie I'm worrying about worrying!) I then think how sad/disappointed I'll be if I don't get to do everything I wanted to do during my life. I also worry about what happens when someone dies (in the spiritual sense). I do believe in heaven and spirits, but being a scientifically-minded person I do sometimes get doubts about it, since it is difficult to believe in something when there's not much concrete evidence. The doubts make me feel worse. When I try to ignore these negative morbid thoughts, I then get a nagging feeling saying "doesn't it bother you that you and your loved ones will die one day?" and then the fear starts again. I also sometimes feel guilty about having these morbid thoughts, because it's bad to think about your loved ones dying and yourself dying. It also makes me feel that because I'm so scared of dying, I'm being ungrateful for life. But in reality I am grateful for life and I want to be able to enjoy it without these intrusive negative thoughts. I worry about the speed of time. For example, I can't believe the first 2 months of 2025 are nearly over! I worry "will I get old before I know it?" and "will I be dead and buried before I know it?" Even when there's no specific trigger, I can feel the existential thoughts in the back of my mind all the time, even when I'm doing things I would usually enjoy. I am autistic, and because of that I feel emotionally and mentally younger than my real age, like age dysphoria. All my life, I have felt younger than my real age, even in my childhood and teenage years!

Just feeling down. I feel uncomfortable in my own skin and sad about trauma I went through, also about mistakes I’ve made. I just feel so sad and I want to cry. I just want to talk to God so bad.. or my younger self. I have so many questions:( .. I don’t want to victimize myself, but it hurts. Nobody talks about how gross and disgusting you feel after going through seggsual trauma as a kid, and how it messes up your brain sortve .. I will make something of myself no matter what. I think I will just light some sage and rest.. this isn’t the end. I love this world, it’s such a blessing to be here. No matter the good or bad.. I just need to keep that in mind

OCD has decided to latch onto my religion (Christianity) and I find myself doubting my belief in Jesus Christ. Yet when I research, I even find myself doubting the atheistic and agnostic approach as well. I’ve been a Christian since I was 13, growing up in a non-Christian in truth but nominally Christian household. This is rough. Any advice?