Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I don’t understand the concept of using Maybe or maybe not. When having very taboo thoughts. Like I feel it makes my ocd worse. Can someone explain?

As a non-religious person who is coming out of a struggle with religious OCD, I’ve come to a conclusion that MANY are going to hate me for. I’m sorry, but I am saying the truth. All religions, but mainly focusing on Christianity, are just FILLED with mentally ill people. They will brainwash, gaslight, and guilt you into believing things that are immoral, cruel, strange, and terrifying. Being around Christians makes me feel uneasy because of how they think everything is a sign from god, how everything is demonic, and how they encourage scrupulosity when it is a MENTAL ILLNESS. I am sick and tired of pretending that most religious people are not mentally unstable. Before you say I am dumping on your religion, I would also like to recognize that Christians have also done a TON of good. This being volunteering, humanitarian work, etc. But if you are a Christian reading this you have got to see how there is so much mental illness in the faith. And the Bible is just FUEL for OCD. it’s all a huge compulsion. Try to get these people to step away from prayer or from going to Church and they will lose it. And if you are a Christian going to reply underneath this saying how great your faith is and how I just need to open my eyes, please save your breath. Your truth is not my truth, you don’t know any better about the truth than I do, stop pretending like you do. K, thanks.

I’ve been Atheist ever since I was young and I think today I’ve finally found God. I journaled a prayer saying sorry that I didn’t believe for so long and thanking him for still being with me. I said in the prayer that I am sorry for not trusting him and following him. I also thanked him for forgiving me, since he is all forgiving. I said I was finally allowing myself to place my faith and trust in him. I just let it happen. I don’t know. This is new for me. Is there a right way to do this? I think I just need to forgive myself now…

The past couple of days have lead to today being a total burst of an ocd spike. I deal with scrupulosity and existential OCD. Currently I’m totally panicked we live in a simulation, Jesus is just a program created by aliens or an alien himself. Saying these things out loud I know they are off the wall but I cannot get past the panic and the constant thoughts.

So basically, I'm afraid of having schizophrenia or becoming possessed (I'm religious). And I have been noticing I'm really paranoid lately and almost believing delusions or what ifs in my mind. Obviously I know they are crazy, but my mind keeps doubting it. That's what scares me the most if I listen to it one day and go crazy.

Has OCD ever kicked in whenever you felt God’s presence? I felt like it’s been this way for me many times. I could get peaceful and then thoughts could come into my head and I wouldn’t like it at all. Can OCD do this?

I am a Catholic Christian, and something that has been stressing me out today is the topic of the Final Judgement. One of my OCD fears is cheating on my boyfriend and now I’m having crazy thoughts like “what if I cheated on him, and then on judgement day God judges me for it, and then me and him are eternally separated?”. I’m also really afraid to get married (the fear comes and goes) because I am afraid I will let my OCD sabotage it. I’m afraid I’ll let the shame and guilt get to me and I’ll confess to things I did not do. Ugh. Does any of this make sense?

Hi guys! I believe I have an OCD since I was around 12. I remember then I had a lot of intrusive thoughts about religious things and I had a counting compulsion (I thought that If I don't count to 8 in specific moments, someone gets hurt) During later years it was really changing - I stopped being religious, so the OCD theme also stopped. Then I had I reckon SOCD, harm OCD and many others. But for know my main topic is ROCD. But because of the fact that this is my main intrusive thoughts topic I start to have this awful thoughts that this is not OCD, I'm just with the wrong person and I need to accept this fact. This is really struggling for me, because i really love my bf and Im in the healthy realtionship but Im so tired of having this kind of thoughts, sometimes I cannot sleep because of them. Also the fact that I've never been diagnosed (I cannot go on theraphy right now unfortunately) is another trigger because I have thoughts that I dont really have OCD, I just making this up, because I cannot accept the truth. Is there someone with similar experiance? Or maybe someone who can have advice for me?

I keep having this reoccurring feeling that I don’t actually believe in god. Sometimes I feel numb towards. I’ve just deal with so much because of religious ocd and I just don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t want this feeling though. And I’m worried it’s real and that it means something. It’s like I worry that I don’t actually believe in god because I’m not freaking out about going to hell anymore. I wish I had my old relationship with Jesus back.

Hi everyone. I’ve been having religious OCD for the past 4 months now. I’ve always been a Christian but it wasn’t until this year I truly gave myself to the Lord. I was so on fire. Getting amazing signs and healing from Him. He really changed my heart and desires! I love them! But the last couple months this OCD hit hard with obsession over scary thoughts & feelings. I started having thoughts about God existence & Jesus. It hurt so much and I’m really trying everyday to move forward but recently I feel like I have a rejection mindset. Like beating myself up over these thoughts and feeling like Gods left me sometimes or I’m not worthy of His love or me having these thoughts of doubts & unbelief was the last straw. I’ve been so attacked lately with this OCD. It’s scaring me. Sometimes it feels like it’s coming from me. I felt like I woke up in total disbelief. I just woke up feeling so numb and questioning life. Doubting everything and I get OCD is a doubting disease but dang. I don’t want to doubt God & Jesus. I look back at my experiences and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn’t. It makes me feel like God is mad at me or will leave me. I’m constantly checking myself, my feelings, my thoughts and even if I’ll “act on this thought”! Deep down I know it’s not true because God is love but does anyone have any advice on how to move forward with these thoughts of rejection? To have a better mindset of believing & receiving Gods Love, Grace and Promises.

I used to struggle with salvation OCD. While I haven't dealt with that in several years, I do struggle with other fears that may be OCD related? Mostly they have to do with vocation and wondering if I'm sinning by living in a nice house and working a regular job and not in a 3rd world country somewhere as a missionary. I recently decided to apply to graduate school but worry that it's sinful and selfish because I won't be serving other people or ministering in that capacity. I also have fears of God calling me to go somewhere I don't want to go....for instance, the other day I had a sudden and urgent feeling that God wanted me to move to LA to minister....I haven't stopped thinking about it and am terrified that He might ask me to move there. I don't want to at all. But then I feel ashamed and guilty for being unwilling. Could that be a form of religious OCD? Whenever I try to research Scrupulosity all I get are results relating to salvation OCD. I don't struggle with that so much anymore. But I do often wonder if these present fears are a subtype of the subtype. Does anybody else experience this? And what exposures are helpful?

I’m having a pretty bad relapse on my ocd and I feel insane. It makes me think I’ll ruin my relationship or that I’m disappointing God. Sometimes with the repeated thoughts and nightmares for a week or two and then being fine next , does this insinuate bipolar???

I've had repated religious intrusive thoughts especially the last 3 days,they get worse when I get out of confession(I'm catholic)..I have constant fear that these intrusive thoughts will turn into mortal sin and I'm scared if I should take communion at church or not..I've spent a long time without taking communion..but taking it relieves my thoughts a lot, but I'm still scared..I feel like my intrusive thoughts will make me go crazy or smth

Hi, what are some helpful coping skills that my son can use to manage his intrusive thoughts. He suffers from Religious OCD and his first therapy session isn't until December 28. He needs some relief from the thoughts or at least some ways to push through them until he starts therapy. I appreciate any suggestions.

I’ve been reflecting a lot about my childhood and how my OCD tendencies were so obvious but I didn’t even know what OCD was… just thought I’d share so we can laugh (hopefully) and recognize that we can’t help that we have OCD! Most of the following were things I’d do when I was between the ages of about 8-16…I may or may not still do some of them 🤣 * praying with my hands turned up because if I prayed with them face down I was praying to the devil * Correcting mean thoughts about other people to nice thoughts otherwise I was a bad person * Beating myself up for not smiling at other people in public * Washing my feet every time I played outside barefoot because I feared that dog poop somehow got on my feet and I would get sick because of it (even if I know I didn’t step in any) * If praying specifically about someone else I would HAVE to include everyone or something bad would happen to them * Pushing a thought away by shaking my head no or literally spitting it out * Confessing about making a MySpace because I wasn’t allowed to have one as an early teen, and ruminating on it for an entire summer (!!!) and fearing that someone would abduct me (due to the horror stories of predators on it at the time) even though I wasn’t active on it * Constantly making sure friends liked me by asking them (“are you sure you want to be my friend?”) * Constantly making sure my parents weren’t mad at me (“are you mad at me? Did I do something?) * Over apologizing (like 5-10x) if it wasn’t a big deal and needing to be sorry was not necessary Oh ✨ OCD ✨ you’re so silly!

I am not a religious person and I never have been. Two years ago when I was in inpatient the nurses told me that maybe I should start believing in God for more support and that felt very gross and dismissive of my problems to me at the time. Currently I’ve been very worried about God. My partner tells me that I talk like I want to be religious which doesn’t make any sense to me and sometimes I worry that god is real and I’m living my life in the wrong way. A part of me thinks that if I started going to church and praying that my mental illness will be taken from me. People who use religion to cope with mental illness what is that like? Does it help? Am I being too shallow with my intentions? How do I know if god is real for me

I don't know what to do. I'm far from my mom because of vacation, and I feel so guilty from last night that I feel like I have to confess when I talk to her today to make me feel better. The worst thing is, is that a part of me still wants to read the fic because there was a sweet romance, but the dark romance is coming more into the book, and it's just like a part of me wants to see how bad it is, but I know I probably shouldn't in my state. I also just can't think of anything else, because usually mind at least pops out from the trigger/intrusive thought for at least 2 minutes or more, but right now, it's just constantly at the back of my head, and I keep daydreaming about the sweet moments of the romance. I know I'm supposed to try and sit with this, but the guilt is consuming me so much and I just don't know what to do. For context of last night, here it is: Hey guys, currently panicking. To start off, my first big trigger happened after I was reading a fanfic, and it caused panic over a word that kept repeating in my head (sexual theme). That one eventually went away, but two weeks later, a new word (sexual theme) repeated in my head, and I have had that same trigger word in my head for about 5 months now. Which obviously scares me. It hasn’t been my main theme in a while, but my mind always reminds me at least 1-2 a day that it’s still there. The problem is that this fan fic doesn’t fit the traditional Christian values, and my mom is a Christian and grew me up as one, and after a while, the guilt consumed me so much that I told her what the fic was about, and tried to never watch/read anything like that again, but then all of a sudden tonight I got a strong urge to read it again, cause I knew new chapters have had to come out since I haven’t read the book in song long, and I start reading, I start to feel more and more guilty, and the word that has been my longest trigger word started to come back. And then dark themes started to be hinted at in the book, and it states that in the book apparently, but it started to make me panic because I started to question if maybe I’m secretly liking the dark theme. I mean I do love romance, but I started to feel weird and disgusted by what was a possibility in the book, and now I can’t sleep, feel guilty, am scared of the word repeating a lot in my head again, and feel the need to confess to my mom. And to make it clear, it’s better hard because I think a part of me will always believe there is a God, but it hasn't been easy for me to connect in a while, and I just feel like I don’t know where I stand faith wise, but I feel so guilty, and have been avoiding doing things because of Christian values, and because I felt like I knew better than to do certain things. This is all rambling, but thank you to anyone who has read all this. I just feel so out of control and scared, and I just feel so so guilty. I know it’s a compulsion writing this, but I just don’t know what to do, because I was doing well, and now I feel like I just put myself back to square one Sorry for writing a lot, I just haven't panicked this bad in a while and need help because I can't really reach to my therapist because I'm out of state, and I just don't know what to do

I feel so alone like no one understands me at the moment Ive prayed to God and i believe im doing a decent job in maintaining a relationship with him but i feel so hopeless, and alone. The heart ache i feel is immeasurable .

One thing that I’ve noticed about my OCD is that it makes me feel very regretful and embarrassed at the end of every day. I reflect on every interaction and every conversation and any thought that I’ve had throughout the day. As a result, I feel more and more ashamed of the way that I act, even though it is probably normal for some of my age to act and see the things that I say. Earlier today I flirted with a guy and then as soon as it ended I had so much religious and moral guilt about it. Does anyone have any advice on how to not feel so ashamed after doing the typical activities that people in their 20s do? I feel like these thoughts are making me want to isolate from everyone else so that I’m not put in the position to do and say these things. I feel comfortable with myself when I don’t talk to anybody but I’m noticing that that can’t be normal . I don’t want to lose friendships and potential relationships out of fear that I’m going to say something wrong. I don’t know what to do.

To start off, yes I have a therapist, yes I have a psychiatrist and so far I am only diagnosed with ptsd, ocd, gad, hypochondriasis, and panic disorder. So for the past 5 months I’ve been dealing with a terrible ocd/hypochondria theme where I have COMPLETELY convinced myself I am in the beginning stages of schizophrenia or some other related horrific psychotic disorder. Ive read way too much on common delusions, symptoms, hallucinations, personal stories, Reddit stories etc. Anyway, for some reason my ocd has really latched on to the common symptom schizophrenics have which are religious delusions, at least I hope it’s just my ocd and not actually schizophrenia. Everyday I get these terrible existential/demonic “delusional thoughts”. Like “what if my wife is a demon” “what if my cat is a demon” “this song has demonic energy” “the face that person made was demonic” “this house has negative demonic energy” “what if you are possessed” “what if these ugly brown mushrooms growing in your yard are a sign of demonic energy”, shit like that. Literally everything I look at now has some sort of “negative energy” or feels eerie or “demonic”, everything I look at always has to have some sort of malicious intent or negative undertone, I can’t watch anything on YouTube anymore, I can’t listen to my favorite bands anymore like Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden etc, these thoughts have made me become so avoidant of dark things and even normal light hearted things! Now first off, I am a literal atheist, I am a complete skeptic, I have never ever been superstitious. I was a huge Marilyn Manson fan in my teens, I’m a horror movie junkie( or at least I used to be before this theme took over), i literally have shirts with pentagrams and upside down crosses etc. why has my ocd suddenly branched off into this religious ocd/delusional thinking? Is this maybe a dp/dr thing too? It literally feels like I am in a horror movie, when I’m really REALLY spiraling and ruminating hard, it feels like I’m in another world filled with pure DREAD and horror.I know for sure that every single one of these thoughts and feelings are untrue and very unlikely when I’m not as panicked but when I’m in deep rumination/obsession it seriously makes me question what I believe. I do not believe any of these thoughts at all when I’m calm! Yet the fear they create and the vibes that accompany them make it feel real. When I’m in full blown panic and start to spiral really bad sometimes I feel like I almost believe these thoughts, and feel paranoid almost, when the anxiety and fear passes though I can have a brief moment of clarity where I can laugh these thoughts off and almost be myself again, but it’s very short lived before these thoughts start creeping back up. The content of the thoughts is scaring me but the fact that I’m even having these types of thoughts and fears in the first place is scaring me even more because it is reinforcing my fears that I am becoming schizophrenic/psychotic. Why have I suddenly become like this? I can’t enjoy anything anymore without getting these awful awful thoughts. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?