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Anyone find the concept of ‘angel numbers’ makes their ocd 100 times worse?

Yall I’ve been deceived. Bamboozled. I thought I was going through a religious awakening, but really it was just OCD. Any other people go through this? I prayed morning and night, Bible throughout the day, stopped listening to music, and I was MISERABLE. I respect those who are religious, but personally I became really emotionally damaged after this experience.

If theres a catholic out there I would appreciate an answer: Are we allowed to criticize saints? What do I mean? When I was younger I was in my opinion very naive and I didnt really know that I had ocd. Now where I am a grown up and I know that my issue has a name namely ocd I started to think things through differently. When I look at saints like St.Padre Pio I always find things in their lives which seemed kinda unhealthy in a spiritual way. I was always amazed by Padre Pio but he seemed very strict and I think growing up with scrupulosity and reading a lot of the saints lives it didnt really help me to get a healthy understanding of religion. I always think that Padre Pio was angry with me when he knew what I think about him that I think a bit critically now and try to distance myself from strict religious views etc. For me that is one example I could tell a lot of others where I dont agree anymore and I feel bad for it.

I am so embarrassed because I have a substance abuse disorder that no one knows about. This time last year, I was going through a breakup. I started hanging out with new people. They smoked weed. I started smoking. A bowl a night. It was the first time in my life I ever felt real peace, real contentment. I guess it wasn’t ‘real’ but I mean that my mind was bearable and I was happy. I felt more able to engage with people. I started smoking before seeing people or with people every time we hung out. I always wanted to be high. I started smoking before class. My grades suffered. I suffered. My anxiety and depression and self shame grew, it feels now the worst it’s ever been. I want to quit but at the same time I’m terrified of getting through this. I don’t know how. There were several times this semester I got high or drunk at random times a day just to feel a sense of ‘joy’. i also have a vaping addiction. this isn’t who i want to be. but i feel like it’s all that i am im so lonely but i don’t get real with my friends anymore because my thoughts scare me and i don’t trust my thoughts or see them as valid because the reason for my breakup was how much i suffered with sexual orientation OCD. I really thought I was questioning my sexuality. I loved him so much. I was so scared there would be a reason I couldn’t be with him. Growing up, I was religious so I was taught homosexuality was a sin. I was not attracted to girls (and didn’t understand why that would be a sin) Nonetheless. I had a best friend who came out to me as gay and in love with me. I started worrying about it, little thoughts, around this time. At first the diagnosis was encouraging It meant there were explanations for this But now I just don’t feel like I can trust myself at all Because it derailed my life before I just know two years ago/every other version of me would be so sad to see where we are now. I have very little hope for myself.

Well the title explains it. It’s so hard to have religious OCD, with other subtypes in general. I’m a devout Catholic, and I pray to God, Jesus, Virgin Mary and other saints. There have been times where I’ve prayed and gotten signs from them that have made me feel happy and at peace. However with this demonic disease, I would often look back and say God told me this about my future and it would cause a great deal of anxiety. I would often cry and complain to myself saying why is God doing this to me. I’ve explained it to all of my family members and they all say it’s not God, and that it’s just me. I would feel and get fleeces that God is saying this will happen or this won’t happen in the future and it’s very stressful and straining. I even got a vision from my guardian angel once, and even that gets questioned. I don’t know what to do anymore. I would constantly get mental images that makes me think it’s God and it’s gives me stress. It’s so awful

i’m a gentile who believes in judaism. i haven’t read the entirety of the oral torah, but i’m scared it said gentiles/ people who aren’t decended from jacob are meant to stutter/ will stutter as a consequence for their sins. i asked chat gpt if it said this and it said yes. now i can’t stop stuttering and i don’t know if it’s because im trucking myself i have a stutter or bc that’s what the oral torah says. im so scared.

To start off, yes I have a therapist, yes I have a psychiatrist and so far I am only diagnosed with ptsd, ocd, gad, hypochondriasis, and panic disorder. So for the past 5 months I’ve been dealing with a terrible ocd/hypochondria theme where I have COMPLETELY convinced myself I am in the beginning stages of schizophrenia or some other related horrific psychotic disorder. Ive read way too much on common delusions, symptoms, hallucinations, personal stories, Reddit stories etc. Anyway, for some reason my ocd has really latched on to the common symptom schizophrenics have which are religious delusions, at least I hope it’s just my ocd and not actually schizophrenia. Everyday I get these terrible existential/demonic “delusional thoughts”. Like “what if my wife is a demon” “what if my cat is a demon” “this song has demonic energy” “the face that person made was demonic” “this house has negative demonic energy” “what if you are possessed” “what if these ugly brown mushrooms growing in your yard are a sign of demonic energy”, shit like that. Literally everything I look at now has some sort of “negative energy” or feels eerie or “demonic”, everything I look at always has to have some sort of malicious intent or negative undertone, I can’t watch anything on YouTube anymore, I can’t listen to my favorite bands anymore like Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden etc, these thoughts have made me become so avoidant of dark things and even normal light hearted things! Now first off, I am a literal atheist, I am a complete skeptic, I have never ever been superstitious. I was a huge Marilyn Manson fan in my teens, I’m a horror movie junkie( or at least I used to be before this theme took over), i literally have shirts with pentagrams and upside down crosses etc. why has my ocd suddenly branched off into this religious ocd/delusional thinking? Is this maybe a dp/dr thing too? I know for sure that every single one of these thoughts and feelings are untrue and very unlikely. I do not believe any of these thoughts at all, yet the fear they create and the vibes that accompany them make it feel almost real. When I’m in full blown panic and start to spiral really bad sometimes I feel like I almost believe these thoughts, and feel paranoid almost, when the anxiety and fear passes though I can have a brief moment of clarity where I can laugh these thoughts off and almost be myself again, but it’s very short lived before these thoughts start creeping back up. The content of the thoughts is scaring me but the fact that I’m even having these types of thoughts and fears in the first place is scaring me even more because it is reinforcing my fears that I am becoming schizophrenic/psychotic. Why have I suddenly become like this? I can’t enjoy anything anymore without getting these awful awful thoughts. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this?

hey, i saw this on tiktok and i’ve been struggling really bad my whole life. i’ve never been diagnosed but im too scared that people will tell me im being dramatic or im making it up to get help. i think it started when i was in 1st or 2nd grade, i would come home everyday and confess things to my mom. like not taking my usual routes in the hallways and not returning a pencil to anyone. i dont know why it has to be her but i still do this. it’s like she’s my only comfort person and sometimes it feels like im just bothering her with it. i dont know who to talk to or what to do to fix it. everyone has told me that getting on medicine will only make it worse because if i come off of it it will be a whole lot worse. as i got older, it kind of left me for a while until earlier this year. i’ve always been told that having an extreme conscience was a good thing, but this feels awful. i turned to God which i still believe it but i don’t think it was the right way. i was overly paranoid that the end times were coming so much that i couldn’t do my daily routines. my sister has 2 babies and when i turned to Jesus it was also because i was having insane intrusive and embarrassing of doing horrible things to them. i didn’t even know who i was. i love both of those babies like they’re my own, i constantly come over to see them, bring gifts, etc and i could never intentionally hurt them but when i have these thoughts it’s like seeing yourself in a different perspective. when i signed up for this app a few minutes ago i think it said that was POCD. i would never do anything to hurt anyone, ive always been a very gentle and caring person so it’s kind of hard to argue with yourself. i was also at the time hitting an extreme point of paranoia about my health, constantly obsessing over everything because i thought i was dying. it left me again for a few months but now it’s back and i don’t know what else to do. i don’t know if this is ocd or if im straight out just a terrible person. any advice, comments, or anything is welcome!

-social anxiety -existential ocd -religious ocd

I’m taking it day by day. I recently put in my two weeks notice and have left a toxic workplace. It’s been hard on me because this has happened so many times. I’ve been working since I was in middle school, cleaning hospitals, sleep centers, etc with my mom. And at 16 I got my first real, legal job lol. And it’s been rough, employers can be toxic or the job just isn’t set up with the tools to succeed. This last job I put my all into and like most jobs I’ve had I wasn’t trained, but I persevered and owned it. I had to leave from cruelty and just not setting me up to succeed but fail. I could take the difficulty, but I couldn’t handle the disrespect. I actually really conquered some of my ocd there and used some of it to my advantage with organization and starting up new ways to help the team, as well as actually speaking up for myself and holding a small meeting. It was incredibly difficult to understand whether I was right or wrong, but I followed my heart. Even with conquering those small things like speaking up, I was still left unheard by the people who could change the environment. I’ve struggled quite a bit since then with feeling like I made the right decisions or not. My mental health comes first, but I need money to eat. It can become so discouraging that you’ve got to work to live and these places don’t have to treat you like a person… it would be a lot to go into it. But I’m proud of myself, although I’ve become depressed and have lost myself in my head a bit. I’m coming out of it quicker than ever, and honestly that’s because God never stopped believing in me. God has helped, and my ocd really messes with my relationship with God a lot. I won’t quit, and I won’t give in. I believe in myself. I’m proud because through the pain I’ve still managed to keep up with the house and my laundry and myself pretty well. Today wasn’t that bad and that gives me hope. I’ve recently been working on my breathing too, when things get overwhelming I take deep breaths for 60 seconds. It helps settle me and my heartbeat. I know that my ocd is gonna fight me thru getting my next job. Tons of reasonable and unreasonable thoughts. I’ve got to try and I’ve got to let go of what could or could not happen and be myself. I’m a child of the most high God and if He is for me then who can be against me? I’ve done nothing wrong, and I’m a great worker. People have seen that and people will see that again. I can do this, if I believe and try ! I believe in you !

Okay so, I know ocd has prevented me from basically doing anything I used to do… but I also have had a lot of eye opening moments to what I see is or isn’t okay. Me and my partner have had issues with porn and shit in past, which has contributed to me not feeling ok about certain scenes in movies, like even if before ocd I used to watch whatever scene/movie with my bf, and we used to not care, porn is a big reason as to why I have chosen for us to not watch Sex/sexual scenes, strip club scenes, nudity, etc… I made it a rule when I had ocd , but just because I made that a rule doesn’t mean that it’s the only reason why. I shouldn’t have to be “ok” with certain scenes in movies, not everyone in life can watch that stuff without having their soul affected. I’m also religious and feel that certain things are wrong, so there’s a few reasons as to why we don’t do that now, but ocd is trying to tell me it’s a compulsion and that I’ll never get over ocd because of it. Like I think people are aloud to have change of opinions , yes when I made that rule part of it was because I was worried about triggers but there’s also that because of past issues I don’t want either me or my bf engaging in those types of scenes, no I’m not being immature (my own Nan skips past anything like that) we are religious and see certain things differently than others. On top of that because I used to watch like cardi b music vids and shit where she is just being a slut the whole way through in EVERY music video, I used to love her music and songs and shit, I still listen to her occasionally but just because I used to watch stuff like that doesn’t mean I should have to just to “get over ocd” yes part of it is about preventing being triggered, but also is a respect thing to myself, my partner, and Jesus and my relationship. I know lots of people wouldn’t give a shut about that stuff, but I do! It affects my soul. We are all brainwashed into thinking that people making videos like that is right, I’m sorry it’s not. I get that there may be some music videos I watch that may have certain things that pop up, but I can CHOOSE to look away like my partner does if there’s like twerking or something in it, but when I just KNOW the whole music video is going to be something that affects my soul or I feel Is disrespectful to my partner, myself and our relationship, (I wouldn’t like him watching a music video like that) I shouldn’t have to do that as an exposure right???? Exposures should be things that are normal like going to the shops, or public places for example. just because before in the past I didn’t see an issue with stuff like that doesn’t mean my opinion can’t change on that stuff??? As I said why would I do something I wouldn’t like him doing? It’s hard for me to sometimes know wrong from right because ocd fucks with my head, but sometimes I rely on other peoples insight like my mum or partner because I can’t think for myself at times… anyway all I’m saying is just because I used to fo that stuff before I REALISED how it affected my soul and stuff, I shouldn’t have to just be “ok” with it just because I used to, I just don’t want to think this is a compulsion and that I won’t ever get ocd with this mindset because that’s what OCD is telling me…. I don’t want to play it’s games anymore, but I also shouldn’t have to “expose” myself to sexual/slutty content/material just to “get over ocd” I’ll repeat again I have been a lot closer to god through this and feel certain things are just wrong like those scenes or certain music videos. Any Christian’s maybe similar to me, can give me some perspective?

Any Christians can you please reply. Me and my partner have recently discovered a like for Role playing, we have always dirty talked etc, but have been finding an interest in doing something new (role play) as much as I enjoy doing this with my partner, and he does too, I’m worried what if God resents me for these acts? Surely just because you’re religious, doesn’t mean you can’t have kinks right? I believe god may think that sex is a private matter between the couple & as long as this act is shared with my person I will spend the rest of my life with, I don’t think it is bad necessarily? I know god may not think everything said or done in intimate times is “holy” or something, but I don’t want to stop doing things I love with my partner, and neither does he, but we are both religious. Just wondering if there’s any Christian’s who may give me a bit of perspective. (When me and my partner are “role playing” we are not pretending we are other people, we are still ourself, not pretending to “be someone else” just acting out different scenarios) some insight would be good, from someone who is religious themself?

hey everyone! so i'm not sure what to post so i guess i'll just post what i'm going through, i hope someone sees this who understands. i feel really alone. ‼️⚠️TW⚠️‼️- thanatophobia, intrusive thoughts, harm OCD, religious OCD, existential dread/crisis/questions GENERAL INFORMATION so i'm 15F, just got into high school. i've always had thanatophobia (extreme fear of d3ath and the process), but as of recent it's gotten terrible. it's all i think about. my intrusive thoughts are usually related to it, and sometimes i think that "oh i know it's going to happen soon! it's going to happen today!" and i'll believe it and freak out for the rest of the day. my parents have been telling me that there isn't a point in worrying, but i'd argue against that. it's not like i chose this, it's not like i want to be worried. it just happens, i cannot control it no matter what i do. the idea of not being on earth frightens me, like for example: i cannot stand thinking about the moon landing and stuff because those people aren't on earth. i like it here, no matter how messed up it is, it's all i know. and many people understand that thought process. earth is my home, it brings me everything i need. it feeds me, lets me sleep, brings me air, gives me water, it's nature surrounds me in comforting light. the earth is my home, i love her, and she loves me. i don't want to leave her, because she's the only thing i know. RELIGIOUS BACKGROUND. im a christian, however i guess i would say i don't associate with that title due to the fact christian's tend to not really be what they say they are. i'm a christ follower, and i believe he died and rose again. people tell me heaven is beautiful, that it's the best place ever. and while yes it's a good place, it's also terrifying getting there. and i often freak myself out asking myself questions of "what does it look like? does it feel like a dream? is it physical?" so many things in my head. people tell me to read NDE's, but those only make me more anxious. EXISTENTIAL PROBLEMS so my existence has been hard to think about. i often think about how cruel death is, how it's so hard being alive because you are taunted with death. you build things just for it to all break down. and that's something i struggle with greatly. i look around and think to myself "wow, these are things i love, but in the end they don't matter do they?" and that isn't too comforting. being around friends hurts too, because i can't just enjoy myself. existence is such an insane thing, and how one can exist and then not. that's terrifying!! LIFE STRUGGLES i struggle to take care of myself, i won't shower for a couple days nor brush my teeth because i really can't bring myself to get out of bed. i also don't go outside a lot, due to the fear of getting into an accident. i struggle to join into social activities because my brain is always busy with worrying rather than enjoying the moment. i cant relax when i'm out of the house because of the what ifs that play in my head. i don't feel safe when i'm not home, and that's a problem because if i don't leave the house then i'm not getting sunshine which, by the way, helps mental health a LOT. i kinda threw myself into a pickle. anywho, i really just need someone who understands. who gets what i'm going through, who saw this and maybe thought "hey, that sounds like what i am/i was going through!" and could maybe tell me their story and what they did. i feel so alone. and so helpless. thank you if you read through all of this, much love to you 🫶🫶

Hi all, first post. Long time health and somatic ocd sufferer, now debilitated with anxiety and a new depression over death - not in a suicidal way - and the afterlife. I can't accept that everyone I love will die, or just human mortality in general. I am grieving something very intensely that hasn't even happened yet. I can't stop thinking about the unstoppable march of time towards death. I can't accept the idea that what is so special in this world - or my world - will be erased. I feel like I will never get over this. I do have beliefs - I'm a progressive Christian, and family members of mine have had experiences of deceased family members on their deathbeds. However, my OCD mind cannot accept uncertainty. How can I - or anyone - be okay if we don't know what happens when people die? I feel like I'm going absolutely insane, and I will never be happy again.

Racing thoughts and can’t sleep. Dealing with scrupulosity and ROCD and addiction. I’m so sad

i was “diagnosed” with OCD less than a year ago. the reason i use quotation marks is because my psychiatrist isn’t very thorough, although i’ve only ever had one psychiatrist so maybe this is the norm. essentially, i went in to tell him i’d been struggling with intrusive thoughts, and he just said “that sounds like OCD” and wrote me a prescription for medication to treat it. when i went in to talk to him about it, i’d already had the suspicion i’d been dealing with OCD after learning about it in my college psych 101 class. ever since i was 8 years old, i’ve had awful intrusive thoughts regarding my faith, and i’d combat them through repeating prayers or little sayings over and over again in my head. i’ve been doing this for over ten years now. i have other intrusive thoughts and related compulsions (if i really have OCD) , too, but that’s the bulk of it. here’s the reason i’m writing this, though: the medications i’ve been taking haven’t helped much, so i think i need therapy, but therapy makes me nervous. i’ve been taking anti anxiety medication for roughly 5 years, so when i told my psychiatrist i was dealing with intrusive thoughts, he was really surprised because the medication i was on is used to treat OCD all the time. he’s tried a couple different changes to my medication, but none have worked, which leads me to believe i might need therapy to bridge the gap. therapy terrifies me, though, because i have this sinking feeling that if i seek out therapy, my therapist will discover i’ve been lying about my symptoms without me even knowing that i’ve been lying, if that makes any sense. i’m sorry this is so long. i guess i’m looking for some encouragement.

I constantly believe that the words “I blas—— the H——G——,” are an unforgivable sin, and I cannot get them out of my head.