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dad just denied me of NOCD therapy :(.

Sometimes I feel really bad for being jealous of others who have OCD as well. I think my subtypes just make my life really hard and I wish I could have a different type/types. I know regardless of the type OCD is still hard and everyone still tends to struggle in the same exact ways, but I don’t feel quite hopeful for my future here with pocd/real event ocd/pure ocd/and false memory ocd. It’s a quadruple whammy I have going here.

I did something specific when I was 13-14 that I found now really really disgusting (I'm almost 18 now), I feel so ashamed about myself. (i didn't hurt anyone, it's just really not something you should do) i can't get it out of my head I really wanna tell someone but I'm afraid people will think I'm weird and disgusting I feel so guilty, I don't know what to do... I wanna feel normal. This memory triggers my thoughts about children a lot because I feel like a perv (again, didn't hurt any child it's just really weird) Help Lol

i am horrified. ‘i might actually be attracted to little girls’ is all that’s going through my mind. it’s hard to fight it. it’s hard to ignore it, i feel awful about it. but do i feel awful for finding them attractive? i don’t know. i don’t know anything right now. it’s so hard, it’s hard to just live. i’m absolutely terrified. if i see a little girl while i’m out, it’s almost like i get excited. i check with them to see how i react and i’m usually like, ‘okay just a little girl not a big deal’ but i’ve been looking at their legs and shit. i feel awful about it. then i wonder ‘do i find this attractive?’ and it’s becoming harder and harder to see what’s real and what’s not. what are my thoughts and feelings, what is because of OCD. i’d never had these thoughts before 2 weeks ago. i feel like it was latent or it was awakened all the sudden… does ANYONE ESE go through anything at all like this???? does this confirm it? i’m not getting any pleasure out of this and i don’t purposefully create any fantasies but what if that’s next??? i hate all of this SO MUCH i start feeling better and then i’ll see a little girl. then it turns into ‘oh did i like looking at them? did i find them attractive?’ does anyone else experience anything similar???? i feel SO ALONE, i feel like all my worst fears are true. i feel awful. i’m in so much intense distress and anguish and i have so much anxiety.

ITS SO HARD TO NOT SPIRAL RN. When I was 16 and my sister was 12, I was obsessed with lucifer on netflix . It’s Tv-14, and they talk about sex a lot . I don’t think they described the acts much , it’s more of “oh have you had sex “ “wanna have sex?” . Like in dialogue . My sister was like “omg they’re saying the words I dont wanna watch this “. But I’d watch it anyway cuz I liked the show . I figured shed leave if she wanted to. But she’s brain injured . Like I remember once she was getting stung my wasps and she literally just stood there cuz she didn’t realize she should run ? But she’s in the same grade as other grade 6 people and just had an IEP? What if she wasn’t smart enough to leave the room when the show played ? That means I sexually abused her because forcing children to listen to sexual talk is sexual abuse . Ugh . This stream freaks me out .

I suffer with health/somatic OCD. I also have a phobia of the doctor and meds. This makes checking my worries very complicated. My anxiety level is up high. I am starting work with an NOCD ERP therapist this month, even though I’ve been doing some ERP since June. Just 1 time a week, and not enough for the severity of my symptoms. I’m convinced I have every disease under the sun because my father had so many things wrong. My anxiety makes my body do crazy things, and I’m wondering if anyone can relate to this. Hoping my therapist can help me break the fear of the doc, testing and dealing with if something really is wrong. Feeling very alone..

I’m going through a very bad sexuality ocd episode and I really can’t get myself out of it. I gave into all my compulsions and have been throwing up all night because of my thoughts. Does anyone have any tips on how to get past this

Hi my little community :) After a longggggggg journey I finally don't have OCD anymore and I know I will never have it again and I'm writing this post to share the secret to overcome it. I've had existential, HOCD, incest, POCD, contamination, ROCD depersonalisation, zoophilia, false memory, scrupulosity, harm, religious, real memory, somatic, and many other forms of ocd that would make me lose my mind with all the questioning. I've reached too many low points in my journey and at some points I wanted to end my life convinced that I was the worst person in the world. I've had it since I was 5 years old, but it got extremely serious around the age of 14. I finally sought treatment at 19, and fully recovered at 20. I started treatment on my own by watching YouTube until I then decided to do treatment with NOCD. Unfortunately it felt like my therapy sessions were just repeats of what I was learning on YouTube so I stopped and continued treatment on my own. I thought that I could do it by myself, but honestly it was so difficult and I hit so many discouraging low points, until I tried one last thing.....I discovered this man named Eckhart Tolle on YouTube. This man changed my life. Through his teachings, I learned that OCD is no different than anxiety, depression, eating disorders, and other anxiety related disorders. I've learned that they all result from letting your mind and thoughts control your mind. So the secret is: That you must practice becoming the observer of your thoughts, learn to stop interacting with them, learn that you are separate from your thoughts, and live your life through the lens of the presence rather than the narratives your mind makes about the presence. You see, your brain's job is to collect information and perceive it. However, at many times, the brain is just spitting out illogical information based on your fears, experiences, memories, etc. Once you learn that your thoughts are separate from you and your experiences, then will you be able to fully overcome "OCD" and anything life throws at you. Its a concept that's difficult to understand at first, but once you get it, you get it, and it will change your life.

This is the first post I’ve made here, as I have just recently been told I have OCD. I started therapy when I was 15 for an eating disorder, and have been pretty much consistently going for the past 5 years. It is incredibly scary to me that it has gone undiagnosed this long, and it took a few horrible spiraling episodes and me admitting I had a fear of smelling bad for a therapist to tell me it might be OCD. I’m primarily concerned about having another undiagnosed mental illness, that I have done unforgivable damage to other people’s mental health, and the general fear of losing my sanity. If someone could share the benefits of accepting the OCD diagnosis and starting ERP even if it is petrifying, I would greatly appreciate that. Warm wishes and peace to all of you struggling right now:)

advice if possible: I just feel confused and frustrated. I used to be certain it was ocd. I was having anxiety I could hear my inner voice saying that I still love him. But now it doesn’t feel like ocd and I can’t her my inner voice and I just need like nothingness when I look at him. And kinda when I look at anything. I feel like I’m not going to get over this or that I’m just using ocd as an excuse mainly because I keep feeling like it’s not ocd anymore. Has anyone been here before and does anyone have any advice

well, i’m an emotional wreck. not only am i a female who’s going through her time of the month, but i also feel like my OCD has been proven true. i’m a terrible person, i hurt my boyfriend. mentally, repeatedly. i’m a monster who deserves no love. he deserves so much better. and i’m just so scared that i’m going to become the other monster my thoughts paint me out to be. my whole life i’ve tried to care for people. i cant believe i hurt him multiple times. he’s like an innocent puppy, and i hurt him. this is torture

I’m so fkn sick of this theme. I’ve literally tried to give myself other themes before😩😩😩😩

Hey y'all, so today's been really rough for me. I got a speeding ticket and I don't know if I should fight it and hope he doesn't show up (and use the what if as an anxiety exposure), or just pay it and get it over with. For some reason the ticket really affected my ocd and I. I have been managing everything fairly well for a bit but this really triggered me because I now feel like a failure and not deserving of love and happiness. Any kind words and advice would be appreciated right now, as usual no reassurance please. Thank you 😊 By the way here's a picture of the lake during my amazing morning pre-ticket 😂😩

Guys I’m freaking out with a “memory” or something from when I was 15, 14 or 13 please HELP :((((

i feel almost okay with the thoughts and they don't bother me a lot anymore i am able to simply ignore them and not react to them but it's bothering me a bit because i feel like i am actually gay:(

If my OCD is under control now, and I’m so busy with school to even be consumed by it, is it worth exploring it now and opening that can of worms? Wouldn’t it make things worse?

It’s like I get calmer and calmer each day and I can almost see my way out of them but every once in a while my brain asks me if I want to break up and that feels real. Any tips on this?

Hi everyone ✨ Having a particularly rough time today dealing with my ROCD & related compulsions… this is a long post, so I’ll cut to the point early on: Writing all this out here feels like I may be seeking validation, or doing a rumination/reassurance type of compulsion, but if I don’t do my compulsions, I just lay in bed, crying. I feel as though I’d rather do the compulsions than cry all day, bc then at least I’m not sobbing and in pain (pain from anxiety pit in stomach…feels like consistent gut punches) but I know that doing these compulsions is only making my situation worse in the long run…. If anyone could give me any advice on how to practice some ERP around this, or something like that, I would GREATLY appreciate it. Thank you ❤️‍🩹✨ So, I recently went through a break up (we had a good rapport and always had fun together, despite us both being pretty toxic… it was in subtle ways, you know, like going over each other’s texts, jealousy, repressed anger issues, my own ROCD causing me to question our validity as a couple— not a good mix with his own intense insecurities…etc) and now, I can’t stop obsessing over what he is thinking and feeling these days. We ended things pretty gruffly…he blocked me out of anger, but I tried to make amends by emailing him an apology and a whole thing to remind him that emotions, while valid, are usually fleeting, and in the end, we both loved each other to the best of our ability, it just didn’t work because we are both toxic people right now… He unblocked me over text, then, but kept me blocked on all other social media and has yet to respond to anything I wrote to him over email or text. I tried my best to write objectively in the email, and ended everything with peace/love/forgiveness… but now, I just can’t control the obsessing. Thoughts like this keep bombarding me at a constant rate— Why did we break up? Did we even actually break up? Do I miss him? I definitely miss him. Was he good for me? No. Maybe? How am I supposed to know? Maybe he’s angry with me and ignoring me… Maybe he’s just too busy with work to write back. Maybe he’s already moved on…oh god, maybe he never even loved me to begin with and now he’s moving on… No way! He most certainly loved me, we’ve cried together! I remember his loving actions toward me! …BUT… He WAS kind of all about him during the relationship…… I just need to talk to him again and we can figure it all out. Together. I must go on this journey of self-healing, alone. Maybe he never wants to talk to me again…. Etc…etc….ETC!!! I am going insane!! 😫😫😫😫 Its been about 3 days since our split, and we still have some of each other’s possessions. I just can’t stop crying. Even though I want to focus on myself, and live a normal life, I feel like I’m being controlled by my emotions and these obsessive thoughts 24/7…. I compulsively check my phone to see if he answered or called, even when my notifs are turned on…I feel so crazy, alone, and I feel like I just wanna disappear from everything, even though I’m not suicidal (truly), and I know I’m not alone (have pretty good support from fam & friends) and I know I’m definitely NOT crazy (though my OCD might make me feel that way sometimes, 😅) There is this GIANT pit in the middle of my stomach 24/7 whenever I think about him and all that happened between us, the good and the bad. I called him this morning, and he didn’t pick up. I don’t want to become a harasser, or a stalker, and that’s actually a little bit of a fear of mine, bc one of my compulsions involves texting and calling, and I’m not always strong enough to resist it. I’m so very confused and dejected right now. I don’t know what the right move is. I don’t know what to say to him, if anything at all, or even what to say to my own self. Again, any ERP related advice helps. Thank you ❤️‍🩹✨

TW: pocd, harm ocd hi everyone! i’m 18 and i’ve been having bad intrusive thoughts since I was 14. It started when I watched an horror film and the images won’t go away, then I experienced violent intrusive thoughts and I began to feel like a bad person. Luckily, I don’t think about that anymore, but lately i’ve been obsessing about P OCD, since the first quarantine. Now that thoughts about kids seem less strong, I started liking a girl a year older than me. I broke up with my previous girlfriend in order to get in a new relationship with her. Now, with the girl I had before I also experienced bad thoughts like “What if I like her because she’s shorter than me? What if she looks like a little girl?” and stuff like that. All the beautiful moments I had with her, were when I wasn’t thinking about anything, when I was thinking about kissing a NORMAL girl of my age. Now i have a similar problem. When I started liking the new girl, I forgot all my negative thoughts, I have lots of good memories with her. But then, my brain started as always “What if her face looks childish?” and it was so bad for me to think about it. I would look at her photos in order to confirm the fact that she looked like every other girl. But now I’m really scared, because I started thinking about stuff like “What if I like her because she looks like my MOM?” and I’m terrified. I can’t even look at my mom without associating her to the girl, and every time it gets worse. I know I like her because of many other things, not because she “looks” like my mom. I would compare their photos as a compulsion, until I’m sure that they not look alike. I feel relieved for some minutes, but then it starts again. I’m already seeing a therapist, and she says that I don’t have to believe to this thoughts. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m constantly worrying about being some sort of a pervert, or ill person, I can’t do this anymore. Sometimes, I also harm myself to stop these thoughts, unsuccessfully of course.

literally feeling like a P for no reason . I get thoughts say “I want to be a P” but why ? Why would I get a thought that I want to be attracted to kids when I know in my soul I am not . Can anyone help , this really brings me down , & causes me frustration