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Could a 9 year old do something inappropriate to me in my sleep?

Sorry if this counts as asking for reassurance, I don't want yall to tell me if im a p€do or not i just wanna ask this. Is this normal while you have a kink (not something bdsm or anything more like a body part connected with like gaining weight, but not obesity or anything unhealthy of course, just a bit) to feel weird when you see it in a child? Because look i know im not attracted to kids but now (maybe due to my ocd flare up) whenever i see a chubbier kid or just someone talking about stuff like this when it involves a child i get groinal response and treat it like they're talking about something sexual? I know it is not and it's a normal thing, I don't think that before OCD flare up i treated it sexually or anything and i really don't have any urges to sexualise a child and i know im not attracted to kids but im being scared my kink is something bad and its making me a pedo? My therapist knows about the kink and she says it's normal and i know you can't get rid of a kink, i just really really want those feelings to pass.

I FUCKING HATE THIS DISORDER - I figured out that my saliva hyperawareness is what triggered my mind to have the oral sex intrusive thoughts, and now my OCD is making me think it’s not an intrusive thought, my question is - can OCD do that? Can it take one of your intrusive thoughts and make you think it isn’t an intrusive thought after you’ve identified the trigger??

He broke up with me out of nowhere and told me he never loved me & he said he stayed with me for years due to comfort and guilt of not hurting me.He was emotional & physical distance for years and drove my ocd and jealousy up ,leading to him reaching a breaking point and few weeks after his with someone new . It’s been almost two months now and still can’t eat or stop crying and spiraling. It’s affecting my job and never got closure because he just sugar coats things if I ask or ghost me . We together for almost 5years . I’m stuck and can’t stop my thoughts consuming me . I also have trouble doing daily task or finding energy too. I don’t have friends or family and trying to make friends but I have bad habit of trauma dumping and that pushes people away. I also live alone and being alone is something I struggle with and causes me so much anxiety/panic attacks Idk what to do to get back to normal I made app to see a psychiatrist, but it’s not for a few weeks and I am seeing a therapist. I just started, but it doesn’t seem to help because I’m just venting to them and I feel they don’t specialize in OCD. Is there any actual supplements that helped anyone or anyone in a similar situation will helped you get through this I feel like my OCD makes me self sabotage my relationships because of my insecurities and I also have abandonment issues.

Last year, I started to get HOCD, and I didn’t know what was going on. And then a couple weeks later, my Auntie died from cancer. I couldn’t be there for her, because my mind was wrapped compulsions. And a couple of months later, I started to get Religious OCD. And I’ve been trying to do proper treatment for my OCD recovery with an other app, and 3 weeks later. I discovered that my grandmother had cancer. And yesterday, I found out that history repeat itself, because she died the following year of my Auntie’s death. First my Auntie, and now my Grandma. Why I do have OCD at times like this? Why do they have to die? Why couldn’t I be there for them? Who else is going to be next? I never wanted my Auntie or Grandmother to gone, and I never wanted OCD to get in the way. Now I really need to seek professional help with license therapists here, but I don’t know how much it’s going to cost. I know that it’s going to be expensive per session, but I do really need help.

with soocd, does anyone else experience feeling like sex with the gender you’re having the intrusive thoughts about would be more exciting/interesting than sex with the gender you were attracted to before soocd? Now I feel like I can never fall in love again and that sex would be “boring” I also feel like I have to try having sex with the other gender and that it’s urgent and something I absolutely have to do or else the thoughts will never go away :((

I’m so worried if I actually did something to my little brother when he was sleeping next to me once like I didn’t know it was inappropriate to sleep with a little sibling but I feel so guilty because he and me were talking and he mentioned his shirt light up and that reminds me of an old pajama he had and he showed me his shirt and it lid up and I feel so guilty because I don’t remember if I did anything bad how do I know???? I asked him if I did he said no ok maybe he doesn’t remember?

- what if i fall backwards in front of the whole class ? - what if i strip down and reveal myself in front of everyone ? - what if i hurt one of my good friendships by doijg something bad ? - what happens if i start an argument with the teacher ? - what if i start violently vomiting / retching ? - what if i read a worse inappropriately wrong aloud ? - what if my crush finds out i like him ? - what if i randomly blurt out a random classmates name for no reason ? - what if the teacher gets super upset and yells at me ? - what if i answer the question wrong ? - what if i cry super loud ? - what if i open my phone and something vulgar starts blasting this is only a few of the many i think on the daily. theres so many what ifs and infinite possibilities its hard to protect myself from all of them and feel secure

Hey friends, I just wanted to share that the past couple of days have been getting tougher, and today was especially challenging. Still, I want to remind you (and myself) that emotions are temporary, and our thoughts can be handled in ways that lead to real peace. I’ve experienced that freedom before, and I know I’ll step into it again soon. It’s kind of like a storm… loud, heavy, and overwhelming while it’s here, but always passing, leaving clearer skies behind. And even the scariest storms come to an end eventually. Btw.. I gotta new cat today. His name is Otis:)

Is anyone worried abt the rapture or is that just me if it happens or not

fyi: [x] - feared identity So I've had OCD for a while now and even though I'm on a different theme than I was, I find that I sometimes feel indifferent or numb to an act that is completely immoral, especially after desensitizaton and learning that there is nothing that I need to do about the thoughts. I even ask myself "What if one of my friends turned out to be [x]?" and instead of immediately saying "I'm completely cutting ties and never looking at them the same way again" I'm like "..that wouldn't be great, I'd stop talking to them but also encourage them to get help.". Pure OCD for some odd reason made me feel empathy for even the worst, most evil people - not that it excuses their actions, or makes them any less evil, but then it also took that and made me panic about it: "What if you're becoming antisocial?" "What if you're on your way to degeneration?" "Why do you not care as much as you used to?" "Are you corrupt?" "Are you [x]?" "Only [x] would feel empathy for [x]." "Are you justifying these actions?". I feel like it is concerning, it does feel like I'm ignoring something that goes against my values, or that I have lost all values and I'm just a bad person. Especially when I get arousal nonconcordance or GRs: "Maybe I'm just traumatized, maybe I'm okay" turns into "You're okay.. with what? With becoming aroused by these things at all? Have you lost your mind? What's next, you're gonna act on these thoughts and say "Oh I'm traumatized?"", and I don't know whether it's logical or not. When I started with sexual intrusive thoughts I immediately found them disturbing and horrifying, and now after ERP and just living with the disorder for so long I'm almost numb... it feels terrible. It feels like I'm justifying or have become legitimately okay with untolerable, horrible behavior, and I feel like that says something about who I am really. I feel like that makes me dangerously close to acting on the thoughts, or that the thoughts were an indication of some repressed desire all along, even when I know there's no evidence towards that... or is there? Pure OCD has convinced me I'm in denial about something horrible many times before, mainly by utilizing my reaction and moral stance around the intrusive thoughts. I still feel like "If I panic when I have these thoughts, that means I'm not [x] and I'm fine."; "If I'm disgusted by the idea of acting on these thoughts, then I'm fine"; "As long as I don't respond the wrong way to the thoughts, I'm fine".. so what happens when you're told not to react to the thoughts at all? Or on the other hand, not to try and analyze a reaction? Panic. Cognitive dissonance: "Something's wrong, I'm not reacting how I'm supposed to". At the end of the day, I really hope I'm not [x], I really do. I can't imagine not only living with the title of [x], but also with the insane levels of distress that title would cause because for all I know, I'm not really [x]. But I could be, like I don't know if I'm not, and even though I'd rather not be [x] I have to somehow accept uncertainty I guess. That's what I've been told to do - but I feel like it's backfiring. I feel like I'm either a) recovering and meta-obsessing, b) I'm still in poor insight OCD and I'm not actually [x] c) I'm [x] and in denial / having OCD about a real issue Speaking of insight, it tends to come and go but it's been poor for most of the time, even after I learned about OCD.

So I’m getting laid off soon because of budget cuts from the Trump admin. I am going to go back onto the job hunt but it’s stressful for me because I was let go from a job earlier this year due to not being able to handle the schedule and commute. They said they would rehire me if I moved closer to the job and that they appreciated my work, but it still sucks. I’ve been ruminating on what I’m supposed to put on applications when they ask if I’ve been terminated from a job and why. A lot of people apparently just lie but it makes me so anxious.

Was getting food with someone, I got excited to eat it, but as I was talking, spit flew out my mouth and it looked like it got into the food. I really wanted to say something but the awkwardness and anxiety took over and I couldn't pick what to do and they had eaten the food This isn't someone that's happened for the first time, I've had this happen when someone passed by my in a tight space and my mind told me if I didn't move my arm in it would be a huge mistake I'd regret so I did the opposite and I thought what could go so badly, and it turned out to be really bad because the person's rear touched my elbow. I feel awful about this but at the same time I'm getting thoughts that say it isn't so bad. Thoughts trying to rationalize, but I hate when this happens to me.

hii! this is my first post so im not really sure what to do but lately i’ve really been struggling with trich & derm obsessions. [trigger warning for the rest of the post— mentions of tweezing, bfrb specifics, etc…] it’s gotten to the point where i’m practically addicted, especially when i’m in an active picking/pulling episode. my problem areas are my face for derm and my legs for trich. the urge and “need” to pick at my face comes and goes with stress levels and i have people in my life who gently try to point out when it seems like i may be doing particularly badly with my bfrbs but even that doesn’t really do anything for me. i’m becoming more and more insecure about myself due to how my body parts look as a result of picking. my boyfriend tries to help the most and i think he’s approaching it the right way; he doesn’t shame me at all and reassures me that he doesn’t think i’m ugly or gross or anything for my bfrbs and all of the marks i’ve got now. right now we’re trying a method of him keeping my tweezers at his house because my tweezers really let me dig in and having access to them seems to just put me deeper into a picking episode. my boyfriend even opened up about his personal experience with picking and what’s helped him stop and i was really encouraged by that for a while but that positive feeling has sort of worn off since then… i feel like i’ve tried a lot of things but i don’t think i actually have. i’ve been trying to be more intent about noticing my hands and keeping them in a “safe” and neutral (folded or clasped together in my lap) position and i’ve started to correct myself into that position if i start picking subconsciously. i can’t really seem to notice any specific triggers that make me start picking other than simply noticing my leg hair growth. i don’t want to cover my hands because it’s a huge sensory issue for me and right now it’s still a bit too warm to wear pants. i really wanna stop but i feel like i can only find the same few suggestions (tape over my fingers, gloves or leggings, harm reduction) and i was hoping maybe someone here would have some advice for me? it will probably get easier as i wear long pants when the weather cools down but that doesn’t change how distressing it is to me right now. i mean i’ve wasted HOURS just picking and plucking my life away. i’m honestly exhausted :( can anyone help?

I have had extremely bad health anxiety for almost 7 months now. It started after I had a POTS flare up, started having panic attacks, stress migraines because my uncle passed away, then came the DPDR, dizziness, just a feeling of something NOT right in my body. I have had holter monitors, ECGs, an echo (all fine apart from POTS), multiple blood tests that are clear apart from one vitamin deficiency that I’ve taken care of, stool samples all good etc. but I just can’t shake the fact that I have a brain tumour so I’ve paid out of pocket for a full body MRI which is a week from today and I am absolutely terrified that they will find a tumour or MS or something else. I have headaches, dizziness sometimes, a really weird feeling in my head (not painful but like my head is kinda floating and not on my body? I can’t describe it), I also wake up every morning with a pounding heart and a nervous tummy. I had my worst panic attack the other day which led me to booking this scan because I’m just so convinced there is something horribly wrong with me. I’m so so scared all the time. I am in the waiting list for health anxiety based CBT but that will be in another few weeks. I just can’t keep feeling like this anymore. I’ve gone from being scared I have throat cancer, to stomach cancer, to heart attack, stroke, and now brain tumour or MS. I know if the scan is clear it will help the anxiety but I also know it won’t completely get rid of it that’s why I’m on the list for CBT. But I just can’t shake the fact that they’re gonna find something really wrong with me. I literally feel like I’m in a countdown to finding out that I’m dying and I was right all along and I’ve left it too late. I’m absolutely terrified. The scan is a week from today and I get results within three days so I won’t be waiting long but it feels endless :( I had a panic attack before bed last night and woke up three times during the night panicking because of all of this. Idrk what this post was I just really needed to vent ahhhhh

First post - hello all! Tysm for reading, I hope to be part of this forum for a while - I wfh so my social interaction is quite limited lately. I have been working diligently on my mental health for 9 years. Diagnosed with severe complex PTSD that stems from both 2y of childhood SA and general fear for safety based on a sibling (8y older than me) who likely has psychopathy. It has been a long journey, and I have had the same therapist since I graduated in 2019. In the last 6y things have improved greatly - I have better shifted a work/life balance, gained a career, formed a strong marriage (2018 on), and now have a son. I credit a great deal of that to emotional regulation - one of the cornerstones of DBT therapy, the main focus of the last 3y with this therapist. Unfortunately, I feel like I’m getting into addiction and OCD and my therapist alone isn’t really getting me where I’d like to go. With things slowly getting in order I’ve tried to work on compassion of self more. I’ve learned that weight lifting is my favorite thing and is a healthy outlet for me. I’ve also learned that my unhealthy habits are damaging my self esteem greatly, and I feel that for me to feel my best self, I need to drop them. Diet is one, but a normal constant back and forth. Pornography is not though, and has been labeled in my mind as an addiction. I’ve had a strong relationship with pornography as my #1 outlet and coping mechanism since I was 11. My usage was extremely high, even before teenage years. I’m 27 now and have been much more serious about curbing this addiction the last year. Since August of last year, I’ve worked with my spouse and managed to cut my usage to probably 15-20% of what it was before. I’m proud of that, but want to keep whittling that value down further! Recently, I’ve started thinking that this is less Addiction at this point and more OCD. I have a strong defined genetic history of OCD and have seen themes of it pop up periodically in my life. I had a drug problem in college and dried out over 3mos… my feelings rn don’t feel similar to that experience at all. Rather than desiring pornography and giving in, most of my motivation to engage with this content is thoughts that push me to. I’ll start my day and either give in to the thoughts so as to enjoy my day without the noise, or I’ll deal with fighting back the constant nagging growing louder and louder that I must engage with that content to relax/be free/etc. I think it’s very self destructive. I feel like my brain almost shuts off and gives me brain fog, insisting that if I want to be productive, happy, etc - I MUST give in to the compulsion and engage in this behavior. Often, I’m not even aroused whenever I choose to concede. I know very very little about OCD and though I have friendships, I’d like to have some form of relationship with people who truly relate or can help me through something like this. I’d be more than happy to do the same. Thank you to any who read, and to the folks who make this forum happen.

That dude who is suspected for hurting that little girl who went missing (idk I think he’s a singer) has been stuck in my head for days. It’s all over my social media and i do watch those videos to get an understanding of what’s been going on/what’s gonna happen but it’s created so many intrusive thoughts for me. What he did is so wrong but it’s making my pocd act up and my brain is asking me like “oh what if ur secretly okay with what he did” “what if you feel bad for him?” “Would do you what he did to someone else” like wtf? it has plagued my mind and im actually annoyed The dudes face will literally pop up in my head during private time and jm honestly confused as to why this is happening.

I’m losing it, I feel like I have no idea who I am and weather I have been faking it my whole life. I saw an episode that triggered me and this guy said he realized he was gay when he was 18 and I just got sooooo anxious. Because then I asked myself did I like anyone at that age (I’m 22) I have never had a boyfriend. I feel like I’m sitting here and just lost faith in the fact that I like men. I feel like I have been lying to myself. I don’t know what to do or if I will ever get the life I have dreamt of. Help me, what do I do???!?!?!?!!! What if I’m not capable of loving a man????!!!!

Disclaimer!! TW: Hi guys, When I was 10 my uncle (my dad’s brother), inappropriately played with my sister and I. where we felt his genital on our behind but we were all clothed and he disguised it as a game. I would catch him also acting weird around me. Later on when I was 12 and my sister was 10 1/2, he went on top of my sister while he thought she was sleeping and she had her eyes half open while she pretended to be asleep. She kept moving around and he thankfully didn’t do anything to her but that alone was horrifying to her. then he went to my bed and I’m a light sleeper so I immediately woke up. I asked him what he was doing and he said “just fixing the nightlight”. The next morning my sister told my parents and I what happened. My dad cried. I never saw him cry in my life. We left immediately and never spoke to him again. He has 3 kids and an amazing wife. Recently he’s been really sick and he had multiple strokes and he can’t walk. My cousins are older now and the eldest is 2 years younger than me. His eldest daughter was in the room as well but he didn’t do anything to her. I talk to my cousins on the phone but I never talk to him. I ignored that it happened for years. I am 24 years old now. In my teenage years I became boy obsessed and hyper-sexual. I got into relationships and got cheated on multiple times. I also feel like I developed OCD because of it. Now I don’t trust men or people at all. I also have triggers that make me feel horrible. A few months ago my older brother complimented my hair and my brain told me that meant he was attracted to me and it made me sick to my stomach. But that isn’t the case and I know that. But I hate that my brain made me think that. The other day my eldest brother (a different brother) facetimed me and showed me his son, my 3 year old nephew. He checked if my nephew peed my feeling his diaper. My brain told me “what if he’s touching your nephew inappropriately?”. God forbid.That made me spiral and feel like I can’t even trust my brother and made me scared for my nephew. I hate how I never can know. I would hate if that were true. That would break my heart because I love my brother and my nephew. But all because of my uncle, I feel like I can’t trust anybody or put it past them. Especially men. It’s ruining my life and making me break down and want to self isolate. I don’t want to live like this. I also don’t want my brother to ever do that. I hate this. Thanks for reading this if you made it this far.

I don’t know if it was ROCD or me falling out of love or what…but broke up with my ex a long time ago. He’s moved on. Not a day goes by where I don’t wish I could try again with him. There is nothing bad he did that I could cling onto, but I was obsessed with the “not right” feeling. I am fully convinced I will never love anyone else to that extent again. Or love them as fully. I’ve always wanted to get married but I don’t see it happening anymore. I don’t know what to do, any thoughts would be helpful. Thank you (edited)