Health OCD/Anxiety after CT scans

Hello all, I hope you are doing well. I wanted to share my experience in the hopes that I will look back on this period of time as a rough spot in my life that was just a passing phase. I have had 2 CT scans - an coronary artery CT scan at 20 to rule out pericarditis (I was misdiagnosed by an incompetent doctor) and an abdominal pelvis ct scan at 22 to rule out diverticulitis, colon cancer, or IBD. The symptoms that prompted these scans turned out to be completely due to anxiety - Acid reflux causing chest pain and anxiety causing abdominal pain. I am graduating college in a month, landed a high salary job, and have a loving partner. I should be at the peak of my life right now. But I am waking up every day in pure terror, with the recurring thought that I permanently increased my risk of cancer for no reason. All the symptoms that prompted these scans were just anxiety… and I just feel like I SHOULD’VE known that… and yet, against my gut instincts, knowing the permanent risk of CT scans, I did them anyway. Right now, it don’t feel like there’s anything anyone could tell me or suggest to me to feel safe and confident without going back in time and undoing the radiation exposure. I just can’t believe I did that when I should’ve known it was just anxiety… and now I’ll have a permanent increase in my risk. I know this sounds completely ridiculous, as the added risk is very small, and I was having real symptoms before the scans, but I feel so deeply disturbed by this my life feels like it is falling apart before me. I can’t study or get things done at work because I’m so emotionally devastated by this that I’m either in a catatonic state or having to look for constant reassurance online. It’s gotten so bad I’ve practically become an amateur subject matter expert in the topic of medical radiation models. I know the risk isn’t even worth worrying about it, and there’s nothing I can do - but I am completely devastated. I wonder how many others may have been in my position before?

Hb34

Date posted: 14h

You’re definitely not alone in this. I did have to get off of some social media because it was using the cookies from my searches to produce all of the posts. I kept thinking that they were signs. But in reality, it was just feeding my anxiety more and more. You’re definitely not alone here.

Anonymous

Date posted: 23h

I can relate to this! Wow. I may not have the best advice, as I'm still working through all this myself, but I hope you can reach relief soon. I have done the same thing before

kookykayla

Date posted: 22h

I have HORRIBLE health OCD/anxiety, so I feel for you. I noticed limiting my time on social media helps with new diagnoses, and keeping myself distracted, sitting with the thought, but then moving on. Easier said than done. My mom has stage 4 cancer, so it triggered so much of my health anxiety.

GMG87

Date posted: 19h

I had to have a ct scan last February to confirm appendicitis. I shook the whole way into it, cried during it and after it. I ended up needing surgery immediately. It didnt matter to me that they were right. I couldnt stop thinking about how it still wasnt worth it. I think about it still. Regret it still. But a ruptured appendix would have been worse....right? Nothing will convince the part of my brain where OCD lives, tho. I understand you. You're not alone.

Misty1303

Date posted: 19h

I have terrible health anxiety myself so i understand. I truly hate when everything i think is wrong with me points directly to anxiety symptoms but i swear in the moment it feels like impending doom and like there’s something seriously wrong. I don’t have a solution either because im very new here but thank you for sharing and letting me know im not alone.

Anonymous

Date posted: 23h

for context - I’m aware that lifestyle factors actually have a much larger effect than this. i already live a very healthy life. i think a big part of this is feeling like this could’ve been easily avoided, and not trusting my gut feeling and instincts. I hate OCD yall

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