Overwhelming feelings of fear or dread

Around the start of October, I started getting stronger anxiety, and I have no idea what triggered it exactly. It slowly got worse. It's anxiety about death, the fact that it's inevitable and time passing, stopping me from being happy in the moment and it really is at its worst. I see that seeking reassurance can be bad with ocd, and with this specific fear I'm having I don't know what counts as seeking reassurance- I cry a lot and my boyfriend sometimes sits with me on a video call and we watch shows we like. The only thing I think might be that seeking reassurance is when I crave for him to just tell me it's okay and I'm okay, but often I start that by telling myself repeatedly that I'm okay. But I don't know a solution.. what everything tells me erp is seems like something that wouldn't help at all with what I'm feeling, but I could be wrong because of how severe it is? I mostly just wanted to get my thoughts out here, but what would you count as unhealthy seeking reassurance vs a healthy interaction that might also help my anxiety ease?

I’m Batman

Date posted: 23h

General rule of thumb for me is if I have to ask more Than once, it’s probably reassurance. Asking one time is assurance. We are allow that. Maybe asking second time …. Might be ok… but if you are going back and asking the same question 5-6-30 times over and over again…. That to me is reassurance seeking. And OCD will get tricky too… you might ask basically the same question but you word it differently. So in your mind it’s ok, but it’s not really. It’s still reassurance seeking 😂 In your case , If when this anxiety hits and you seek out someone to tell you everything is alright , probably reassurance seeking. Also ruminating inside your mind about it can be another compulsion. If you sit there often trying to convince yourself it’s fine, to me that’s a compulsion. I do it sometimes too. It’s hard to catch at first but after a while you kind of pick up on it faster. Like uh , I am ruminating again , gotta knock that off. ERP is hard and it sucks but for me it was worth it. It does not work for everyone but I would say give it a try. A OCD therapist can help you setup a plan to help ease you into ERP. Jumping in full bore can be rough and not for everyone. Most folks like to wade into the waters before hitting the deep end. Also a therapist can work on helping identify safety behaviors you might have that you don’t realize you are doing. If you are doing it on your own, Nathan Peterson and the NOCD YouTube channel have some good information on maybe how and where to start. An ERP example for you might look something like this. You see a person die on TV and it triggers those fears in you. So the response prevention part would be to sit there and allow those thoughts to exist. Don’t engage with them. Don’t ask the BF for reassurance. Just be like Yeah sure Brain, what you said, but for now I’m going to sit here and watch my show.

Ghoufran

Date posted: 20h

That was rlly nice to read ty!I was wondering,if u think u'd be the person causing the harm,is it still the same method?Of ignoring?Ty:)

I’m Batman

Date posted: 54s

@Ghoufran Thanks for the reply. I think you are asking if it’s harm ocd and if ERP would look similar? If so, sorta. Not so much ignoring as just not engaging. Thoughts come in. Think of your brain like a toddler (sorry POCD friends, they hate this analogy😀)throwing things against the wall to see what sticks. The more something bothers you the more it sticks. And the more the toddler gets focused on what stuck. For you it is probably a harm thought. This is the “Intrusive thought”. You acknowledge the thought. I see you there harm thought. Any thought that comes after, is the engagement or the “Rumination”. You don’t want to engage. Thoughts like “what if I smack this person by mistake.” “What if I push them down the stairs” . This will feed the OCD cycle. If you do engage with the thought, engage with uncertainty. Maybe ocd, it’s possible but I don’t know. Maybe I might hurt them maybe not. OCD hates uncertainty. The more do this the more your brain learns it’s ok for these thoughts to be there and that you can handle it. Basically teaching that toddler that I don’t care what you toss at the wall, I can deal with it. Eventually the toddler will get board and move onto something else.

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