finally decided to get help but i'm scared.

hii! i hope everyone is doing well today! :) yesterday i opened up to a family member about how i'm feeling after over a decade of keeping whatever this is to myself and how i feel i possibly may have ocd and they suggested i go ahead with ERP therapy. i signed up last night which was beyond terrifying with the calling and forms i had to fill out but everyone i dealt with was really nice and my therapist seems nice too although i haven't had a session with her yet. my worry is that i'm faking or over exaggerating i guess, that i'm going to be wasting my therapists time that could be going to someone who actually has ocd instead of someone who just suspects they do. my last therapist back when i was around fourteen (i'm nineteen almost twenty now) refused to diagnose me with ANYTHING, she got upset with me when i tried explaining my anxiety or depression symptoms and treated me funny or gave me weird looks which is a huge reason i am terrified now. my mental health is much worse than it was at fourteen so if i was being judged then what will therapy look like now, you know? i'm not entirely sure if this is reassurance seeking so if it is i'm really really REALLY sorry, i'm not sure what reassurance seeking looks like because i'm extremely new to the world of ocd and everything seems really big and scary right now. i'm NOT asking anyone to tell me i'm going to be okay i'm just asking if anyone else felt this way going into this too and maybe some ways they helped calm themselves as they prepared for their first therapy session. again, i hope you all have a really good day! make sure to drink some water if you haven't yet today! :) edit: i also want to mention i WILL bring this up to my therapist but this post is pretty much just me asking how to prepare.

Anonymous

Date posted: 9h

Hey friend!! (I love cats too!) First off, it’s so great that you recognize when you need care and are open to getting help that’s honestly the best thing you can do for yourself. It sounds like your first therapist wasn’t the right fit, and that’s totally okay. Therapists are pros, but that doesn’t mean you’ll always click with them. It’s important to find someone who really gets what you need. A good therapist shouldn’t get upset or treat you weird based on how you feel or what you say you need. So if that happened with your old therapist, they weren’t the right match. You should never feel judged when meeting a therapist. it’s hard to tell you what to expect because everyone’s experiences are different, but when you start with a new one, you should feel comfortable sharing your feelings and goals. They’re there to support you and help guide you on how to get where you want to be. A lot of people with OCD worry they’re exaggerating or faking their feelings. What helped me was looking at it logically, asking myself, “Did I choose to have these feelings?” The answer was always no, i absolutely did not to feel those feeling. And for me that helped me understand that i wasn’t making it up and that they were real feelings. I hope that you are able to find a therapist that clicks with you and really helps you with what you need. You deserve to feel happy and like depression and anxiety doesn’t rule your life. This is the first step and often the most scariest, but that’s what makes it worth it because at the end of the day it’s what makes a difference. Best of luck to you friend! 🫶🏼🤍

ilovecats :)

Date posted: 8h

@Anonymous i genuinely appreciate you and this comment so much. all i can do is be positive and hope for the best with this new therapist, i'm sure all will go well and if not i can always try again. also the part where you said you asked yourself whether you chose to have those feelings was very eye opening for me because i and i'm sure many other people including you wouldn't ever choose this for themself. thank you so much!! :)

amandaw8617

Date posted: 3h

I have been told by many in the ocd community this one thought and it if your doubting whether its ocd or not it’s almost always is because its called the doubting disorder. Im sorry to hear your first therapist experience wasn’t good or helpful as that is what happened to me when I finally got to the same point your are in now and I was 21 yrs old. This disorder can be very cruel and painful to deal with at times but finding the right therapist who you can connect with well and who knows how to do ERP correctly is an absolute life changing process. I know for me it has given me my life back and Im so glad I stuck with ERP many days were extremely hard because the anxiety was so intense and the stress was awful but still glad i did it. Im not saying its an easy process to do any of this but I do applaud your courage to speak up and get the support you deserve and need for yourself. Ps I have a cat hehe his name is ollie

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