Terrified I emotionally cheated

I confessed to my boyfriend a few weeks ago that I used to play an online game and I remembered responding to messages from some people that might have been flirtatious. I knew I didn’t say anything flirty/romantic/sexual back, but I had responded to some messages because it gave me an ego boost. He laughed and said he didn’t care at all. Well, I couldn’t let it go. I was able to log back into the account and read the messages. One person who I had been having normal conversations who i thought was a girl with later made some incredibly inappropriate sexual remarks in which I responded “ahhhh stop stop” and “no it’s ok, i’m just not sure if this sort of banter is OK in a relationship.” I then found out this person was a guy and ghosted. My boyfriend pretty much knows the gist, but he hasn’t read the messages himself. I felt an intense urge to show him the messages, but i worry it would be selfish and cause undeserved harm.

Anonymous 16

Date posted: Yesterday

It’s okay I’ve had playful banter before and it’s something friends do! Also you didn’t know that person was a guy either and ur intention wasn’t bad! Your boyfriend established his boundaries and is okay with it :) It’s good that you were able to communicate but now your OCD is making you confess. It’s best to resist this urge to confess which I understand is hard. I’ve had relationship OCD before and have been through a situation exactly like yours 😅 It gets better I promise!

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous 16 the thing is it definitely wasn’t playful banter on their part but clear sexual interest :( i should’ve blocked the moment i noticed the tone changing but for some reason i didn’t want to be rude so i tried to play it off as playful banter, but the comments were really inappropriate and sexual. :(

Anonymous 16

Date posted: 22h

@Anonymous It was playful banter on your part :) Their intentions may be different but that’s okay bc your intentions weren’t the same as theirs. Trust me I’ve been through this rumination loop before and I would overthink my true intentions and overanalyze the conversations I had. Sometimes when we feel awkward we tend to go along with things to keep the convo going and it can take awhile for us to notice someone’s true intentions! And another good point was that you thought they were a girl initially! Once you noticed you ghosted them since it crossed your boundary. Try your best not to worry about what was said, I promise it’s gonna get better! You are gonna get through this rumination loop it can just take some time 🫶🏽 Feel free to message me about this since I’ve been in your shoes before!

Anonymous

Date posted: 13h

@Anonymous 16 Thank you, I’m struggling a lot right now and I may take you up on your offer :)

Anonymous

Date posted: 11h

@Anonymous 16 I’m not sure how to message you :(

Anonymous 16

Date posted: 8h

@Anonymous Hi I’m sorry my post got flagged since I tried to give you my instagram 😅

Anonymous 16

Date posted: 8h

@Anonymous I changed my name on here so if you look up that name you will find my account lol

Anonymous

Date posted: 6h

@KaelanHassoun followed!

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