How do I fight sin with OCD

I have been in a limbo for so long and I’m stuck. I don’t want to keep living life with constant guilt, but the fear of dealing with any of the responsibility in my mind. I just shut down now and look for any source of dopamine or always moving, so I never have to think about morality or anything with consequence. But I don’t want to stay here I want to be able to have self control and stop gossip and stop lust and stop sinning, but everytime I think about that I get scared because I don’t know where my mind will take me. I’m just praying for help. And there’s many times where the facts that say I don’t have OCD come up and there’s the real scare. Because then I can’t blame anything I’ve done or am doing or any feelings I have on OCD and if that’s the case I really do have so much to deal with and that fear could be endless. But when I talk to my parents they think I’m doing better. Yeah I moved into an apartment, yeah I have a couple jobs, yeah I’m moving. But none of it is obedient it’s all trying to run away from responsibility in my mind. When my mom tells me she loves or when people try to encourage me, I just feel guilt because I’m doing so much wrong and I’m not changing. So maybe I don’t have OCD. Maybe it really just I am legalistic and controlled by fear. But trying to discern that is scary. Idk what to do. Idk how to live my life unless I just sin and never try to force myself to force obdeince, because my mind make me do a load of work that is excruciating. But I don’t want to stop work even thought it’s hard. I want to balance believing in grace vs making excuses I want to balance not being legalistic but not just giving into everything I want to be confident in my standing in the lord so I want to balance out believing in Christ and working my salvation out. I just do and sit and wait but I don’t memorize scripture I don’t try like I should. I just say “help Me” when I get overwhelmed or feel scared by any consequence or responsibility I feel. And then I just move really quickly so I don’t have to think. I keep blaming it on fear and ocd.

TreeCrab

Date posted: Yesterday

Jesus died for our sins. God knows we aren't perfect and all humans make mistakes. As long as you accept Him into your heart, He will forgive you. The hardest part is forgiving ourselves.

CloudSurfer1

Date posted: Yesterday

I absolutely get where you’re coming from. OCD first started attacking me by destroying my confidence in myself (knowing what I’m thinking, knowing what I believe to be right). I’ve struggled with trusting God—but lately I’ve been learning what in means to “abide in him”. God knows me and knows you better than we know ourselves. I find liberty in knowing that I don’t have to explain every thought to Him— God knows when my OCD triggers before I even do. Some Scripture that may help guide you right now is 1 John. It has really helped me to understand how God’s love works into our daily lives and discipleship journey with Him. Know that you’re prayed over and most importantly, loved by Christ. May the God of love open your mind and heart, that you may continue to know and abide in Him who is true.

marlrae

Date posted: Yesterday

there is nothing wrong with reaching out to the Lord with a simple "help me" He knows what is hurting and the fact that you are reaching out is something, and sometimes the only thing we can do is talk to God, not in a fancy official way but heart to heart, child to Father. your fear doesnt make you weak it just makes you human and God knows that. Regardless He loves you fear or no fear.

Aroura247

Date posted: Yesterday

Hi wow It’s like you were reading my thoughts. My brain works the same way. Especially with sin and balance. I know it feels so overwhelming and true, but ocd has a way of shrinking your world. One thing I’ve noticed is that after learning how ocd works and starting recovery, your world gets bigger. And all the things you are nonstop worrying about and feel responsible for, don’t feel as suffocating. It’s true for any type of ocd. I struggle with feeling crushing condemnation for sin and from God especially. But after recovery (im not there yet), I realize that it wasn’t about that at all. OCD gets you to obsess about something when it’s never really a problem it’s the ocd itself that is the problem. When your world expands and things are actually enjoyable again, it all feels more manageable and free. I hope this helps and I’m so sorry ocd is so bad for you right now. 💛

lydiaruth731

Date posted: 22h

@Aroura247 Thank you! It’s good to hear that there is someone in the same boat. Even when I read others’ posts I feel alone and like I don’t have OCD , instead this is just me not doing repenting or whatever. I hear that you are getting recovery and it’s helping lessen the intensity of these things. I can’t afford help right now but I was paralyzed for a year and all I want is to feel normal and like I’m a Christian. So right now I’m seeking any ounce of dopamine or relief possible, but that can lead to sin really or irresponsibility. (And we know it’s hard for me to think about those things) So how are feeling joy or calm while you are going through this?

Aroura247

Date posted: 5h

I feel the same way, like Im not trying to learn how to survive, I want to actually LIVE. Sadly, I’m not in therapy yet either, but I have done so much research about ocd cause I thought I was going crazy or something. So I’m doing much better than I was a couple years ago now that I know it’s ocd and not me. It is so so difficult to be a Christian with ocd because I feel like I’m not in control of my own beliefs and my reality is being distorted. Following Christ is the biggest thing that my ocd has latched onto most for my whole life. Just know that seeking relief from ocd’s horrible grip is not sin, it’s what you’ve had to do to survive. I don’t know what you do to cope, but I scroll and listen to music and use food to seek relief when ocd gets really bad. And I spent so long trying to change those habits and beating myself up for them. But now I see that those things were a response to the mental horror I experience everyday. So giving yourself grace is really important. God gives it to you too, he sees your pain and he doesn’t beat you up for that. Just like a parent wouldn’t beat up their kid for not being able to get up when he has a broken leg. OCD is like having a broken brain. It’s not your fault and it’s not your responsibility to fix. One thing that’s helped me is learning to be bored with the thoughts and feelings that keep coming up. Like saying “yep here comes the doom and guilt right on time”. Because it’s all just ocd distorting your values. The reason you fear sinning against God all the time is because you love God and the last thing you want is to disobey him. Also God didn’t design you to live in constant fear of offending him. He created life, beauty, silliness, creativity, art, laughter. He created people with free will knowing people would sin. He wants you to be free to be funny, laugh loud, cringe, YOU. Because He loves all of you. OCD says you can’t enjoy that life though and must live in fear, shame, guilt, hyper responsibility, scanning. See how messed up that is? Anyways I’m hoping to get into therapy soon so I can get some professional help, and I hope you can too. My relationship with God is far from perfect and ocd is so loud most days that it feels impossible, but it really helps to know how God designed life to be and look forward to living in that after recovery. I am super interested in anything you’ve learned too!

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