My dad took out like some papers from his pocket and for a second i saw something blue with white letters now im scared what if its a con*om and he is cheating on my mum cause i know they dont do that anymore
Hi Lelaa! I would just take a quick moment to stabilize, maybe take a deep breath or two, and just remember that OcD absolutely loves to make us make mountains out of molehills. I’m no relationship expert or anything but I wouldn’t worry yourself too much about seeing that fall out from his pocket. The chances of cheating in marriage, from what I hear, are pretty slim. If you really want to know why he has one of those then it might be best to just be direct and ask him. I’m sure it will be awkward and uncomfortable but I’m pretty sure he will be honest with you 🙂
@A Foolish Samurai Warrior Idk if doing those things are helpful, sounds like reassuring by saying chances are slim and confession or more reassurance asking him if that’s what it was or why he would have one & those are compulsions and would teach your brain that’s right u seeing that was dangerous so you should figure out exactly what that meant… but hear me, he could lie, statistics are just statistics (I actually think the rate is probably high not slim for cheating marriages). So none of those things are reliable is my point…. Your ocd will spin it on u next time something like that happens if u do get the reassurance you’re looking for this time. I think what u need to do here is take this to your therapist but also sit with maybe he’s cheating maybe he’s not but u don’t need to figure that out and that’s not even a real problem for u right now is it? It’s something ur ocd created out of seeing something blue from his pocket…. That’s the only real fact here so sit with knowing u don’t need to figure that out. It’s not easy but I believe after doing it over n over it does get easier! There will be times u wont be able to do this and that’s ok, we are all learning here. I myself am in a HUGE spiral i cant get out of 😡
@Soliel This is everything I was going to say! Nice adjustment to original feedback.
@Jillyblanky Idk why I can’t apply it to my own situation lol
@Soliel - It's easier to see outside of our own current trigger. If we could see ourselves clearly, we wouldn't have such intense OCD in the first place. It's okay to not be able to apply it. Sometimes when I can't apply it, I just say "Fuck off OCD" and do my values. Alas, here I am responding to you waiting for my OCD therapist to log in for an unplanned session because I am so activated right now lol. I am doing my values and I am so triggered. I am sorry you can relate and I am grateful I am not alone.
Are u feeling any better? I wish mine would just go away or someone could help me but it feels hopeless! I’ve been struggling for weeks, reached out to therapist after therapist, almost put myself in some kinda behavioral health home, feeling like complete shit, hiding from those I love cause idk what else to do…..
@Soliel Not really im still panicked i think i will check his pockets later when everyone is asleep just ro calm myself
@Lelaa No don’t do that! Your ocd wants u to do that so do the opposite…. Don’t check and just do whatever you’d wanna be doing if this never even popped into your head! From what they teach us if u do check and get that reassurance or confirmation whichever it may be you are reinforcing that ocd cycle and it will come back stronger and trickier each and every time. But…. If u can delay from checking his pockets and detach from the feelings of what that what if could even mean and disengage with that thought. Let it be there in the background if it won’t go away like an annoying little notification u gotta swipe away or something and continue your night with intention. What would u rather be doing? Sleeping? Watching a show? Now this will be hard so I think giving yourself some non engagement responses would be good like yea yea I hear ya but I’m just gonna watch this show or… ok ok but even if I check I’ll never really know the truth… no matter what I find there will still be some unknowns… anything to kinda help. Do u have a therapist u can reach out to? They usually will even message u back!
@Soliel I do have a therapist but my next appointment is in a month she said i can reach out if something happend bit i dunno that would me my second time going to theraphy
@Soliel I didnt check his pockets i got scared and went to sleep
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