Christians with OCD

Does anyone else struggle with this. I have been diagnosed with OCD and still have trouble believing that it is that. I have been fearful and legalistic my entire life and now I can’t discern what is ocd and what’s just my legalisms and then what’s real conviction. I basically walk around always feeling like I’m sin and then my brain has all the logical reasons what those sins are. At this point, I have run back to hyper vigilance. Basically working all the time, never slowing down, all to avoid thinking and avoid spiraling in fear. At this point, it’s no longer doubts and intrusive thoughts. It’s statements, it’s arguments, it’s real in my mind. Anything any ounce of conviction, responsibility, consequence scares me so bad that now my brain just shuts down and I do things however I want to. That impulsivity has gotten me out of being paralyzed, but at every corner I’m just making decisions and not repenting. Or maybe I am and I can’t see. Anytime I read the word now or sing or take communion, I have to presume on gods mercy that I really am not doing anything to fight my sin. It’s this weird confusion of what is actual sin and what’s legalism or OCD’s version of sin. Many times the when I have desires to do the wrong thing I get scared. But because I don’t know how to approach it I feel confused. Do I approach it as OCD and not worry about it: no because than I let myself give in to the thing. But Do I approach it with fighting: no because then I spiral about the fight.

BrookeT

Date posted: 3d

This is so real. For me, it’s super prevalent when I have an OCD thought and start to call it out and then think “wait no what if that’s the Holy Spirit?” And then I just spiral from there

bootswiththefur

Date posted: 3d

Yes, I am currently dealing with this. I also have a more legalistic background in church. I have thought several times, do I really have OCD? Do I just need to 'take my thoughts captive'? Am I experiencing this because of a failure to live properly? I have looked back over my life and seen many points where I was not just dealing with intrusive thoughts, but that I would feel the need to research why I had them and repeatedly rehash it all in my head or seek reassurance from others or the internet. I don't think ERP conflicts with our faith. I have found comfort in thinking maybe being diagnosed with OCD has led me to be able to understand other people in a way I wasn't able to before. And engage with people I may never have if I had not experienced any of this. And I can show how to live out my faith even through various diagnosis. And maybe give other people hope. I hope you can find peace in this experience.

lydiaruth731

Date posted: Yesterday

Thank you guys, it’s encouraging to hear I’m not alone. It’s very hard to read a lot about this stuff and still not think it relates to my mind at all. Therapy is super expensive. And I’ve been through two therapists who weren’t geared towards ERP. So it’s hard to do it consistently. I want to be able to know that my life is marked by Christ. Because right now my life just looks like shirking responsibility that’s hard because I’m too afraid. And then just impulsively making moves in order to survive.

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