my head canon won’t let me

So I’ve been volunteering the past few weeks and I am about to turn 22 and bet your sweet bippy I’m looking for some companionship I’ve been alone 22 years of my life and I’m not sure if I’m ready to put myself out there but you know, I’m not getting any younger. Because of my situation rn it’s hard to meet people and I thought about using a dating app but I despise those and I’m all rigid about “i want to meet my person organically.” But, to be honest, I’m tired of waiting around 😭 I thought of trying to do a loophole / reframing with the OCD like “you’re saving someone from the dating apps, if anything you’re virtuous” but it’s not working that much. I also think “what if your OCD of not meeting organically becomes a problem down the road?” and then I tell myself “if i stick with her through it i must truly be in love” I don’t know. I know it doesn’t work like that. Just mental gymnastics. I simply don’t want to go on a dating app. I want to meet someone in person. I don’t want to be competing with 50 other guys in someone’s dms. What to do what to do ☹️ Last time I used one, few years ago, I felt like a slot zombie just cycling through profiles. It’s inorganic, idk. I want to be starstruck by someone or have something akin to a Shrek story. I want dad lore :( even tried the christian dating apps in the past too but either I’m 0-how many ever or they posted years ago and forgot about their profile. read the reviews and comments seem to say people are inactive on there but maybe we’re noobs. but nowadays I literally pride myself on not caving in to downloading a dating app, not that others are less for it, but because it’s the one control I do have? and, again, my head canon

Kass_iopeia

Date posted: Yesterday

I get OCD about prospective dating too. “They have to be no more than 2 years older than me and no more than 1 year younger than me,” “I want to meet them at a coffee shop or through a common interest,” “they have to be a certain sexuality,” Etc. but for what it’s worth, I’ve tried the apps and I’ve also had very little success. Radio silence basically the whole time and many, many bad dates. And maybe you agree with me that “It’ll happen when you least expect it” is infuriating bs advice. I’ve personally decided to forgo dating apps and I’m trying to decentralize romance even though I also very much want companionship. It may not look like it from the outside, but it’s a frustrating feeling to want something that feels unattainable right now. If you do decide to stay on the apps (no judgement I totally get it), then maybe you can try telling yourself that dating app meeting Is organic in its own way! Because it is, both people behind the screen want the same thing after all. But if you’re like me and you’re done with them, then it’s helped me to remember that just being myself and doing the things I love is a pretty great way of attracting someone. Anyone you come across in the wild could find you intriguing or interesting, literally anyone. And they’re more likely to be interested if they see that you share something in common, like what shirt you’re wearing, what church you go to, etc. I obviously don’t have all the answers but I hope this has brought you support, it certainly helped me to see someone with the same problem as me. So keep being you, random citizen! And best of luck! ✌️

JeffTheGiraffe

Date posted: Yesterday

@Kass_iopeia thanks for the words. best of luck! and I saw something reassuring that was just a youtube recommendation, but it essentially said “your person will find you regardless” so I try to hold onto that. as for the dating app stuff, yeah, the urge has passed, i don’t think I’m going to go on one. But the urge will probably come back as urges do

strongsurvivor

Date posted: 22h

Avoid dating apps! Meet people through local groups that do hobbies and such. Also the sweet bippy is taking me out 💀 😭

JeffTheGiraffe

Date posted: 18h

@strongsurvivor my hobbies are all HEAVILY male dominated haha. and i don’t want to pick up something i’m half ass about just to meet a woman 😟 i feel like people would think that’s weird idk

Bunny7

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 21h

Dating in today's world is hell. In regards to dating apps, I have a friend who met someone on a dating app, and he told her he almost became a school shooter a few years back. Like very casually he drops this information on their first date in a restaurant (this was also their last date. Obviously). Insane people on dating apps. But I know a few people who got married from dating apps and they seem happy so IDK, I guess it works sometime. I hear more negative experiences than positive ones though.

JeffTheGiraffe

Date posted: 18h

@Bunny7 lol that level of trauma dump is something you ween someone onto 😭 yeah i just don’t like dating apps because of the “pay to use” features. like basic features are paywalled and no wonder people get insecure when their profile is literally being hidden in the algortihm to favor the donators. and then there’s a huge ghosting culture idk

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