You are on a journey...

@0542 Yes!! I'm right here!

@Tea and Honey How do you deal with real event ocd? it’s so difficult I feel like i can’t handle it anymore

@0542 You CAN handle it! Real event OCD is common, and there's good treatment for it. You are definitely not alone in this!!! I personally am not an expert at Real Event, but there are people out there who are!!! Can you explain your real event, and we can work through it together? :):):)

@Tea and Honey I also really like Nathan Peterson's perspectives. This video on real event might be helpful :-) https://youtu.be/lFc-89FKkHA?si=SRb4dA3ZoE0ci2jb

@0542 I really think that every kind of OCD is treated in the same way. OCD is like an octopus. It tries to put different arms around us, but at its core, it's all the same. That's why you can defeat OCD using the same tools and strategies for one theme that you would use for any other theme. I believe real event will be exactly like this. Do you wanna talk about it!? I think we can tackle your real event the same same way we tackle every other theme. :):):) Let's put these tools into practice 💙💙

@0542 I'm here to listen. I know how much suffering you are going through.

@Tea and Honey it’s too personal and i don’t feel comfortable talking about it but it haunts me, I just gagged thinking about it.

@0542 I totally understand. Do you anyone to talk to who would understand???

@Tea and Honey No :( I’m only 17 and I feel so anxious from everything in my life right now.

@0542 It actually doesn't matter what your Real Event is. You are going to treat all Real Event in exactly the same way. So, let's work through some Real Event with an imaginary scenario. And let's just pretend it's a person named Sally. Let's say Sally has a Real Event about touching someone inappropriately. (I think this is a very common OCD Real Event theme.) So now we come to a juncture here. OCD says it's real. And Sally is having Real Event OCD--so she's not even sure what's real and what's generated by the OCD. She doesn't need to play OCD's games by accepting that things are real when they are actually are not. If some of it is real, then she can forgive herself for that. If the people involved have moved on or don't even remember, then she absolutely has to let this go. If the OCD is bringing false memories to the situation, she has to ignore this. This means applying ERP therapy to the situation. I am a big fan of ERP. It's not always perfect, but there are some general principles there that are SUPER helpful for OCD. ERP therapy says that whenever you are exposed to a trigger, you actually do NOTHING in response to it. (That's actually what "exposure and response-prevention" means at its core.) That means that whenever Sally has thoughts about this Real Event about touching somebody inappropriately, she actually does NOTHING about it. She does not try to prevent the thoughts. This never works. And it makes intrusive thoughts worse. And she does not try to fix the thoughts. This never works either. Instead, she is going to ALLOW the thoughts. This can be really scary, but this is the path to going forward. Like the Mandalorian says, "This is the way." Now, the OCD is also going to tell her that she is a terrible person and that she has to perform some action in order to FIX the real event. OCD will say that she has to go confess or do any number of actions in order to FIX the problem she had in the past. ERP therapy says that you actually are supposed to do NOTHING to fix the past. Instead, Sally needs to go do the dishes. Or go walk the dog. Or go study for a test. Instead, she is supposed to live her life, even if the OCD is screaming and throwing an absolute tantrum inside of her. The OCD will always pitch a fit inside of us. Our job is to learn to ignore the OCD, and continue to live life as if the OCD didn't exist. It's OK if the OCD is screaming inside. We are learning to live life despite the constant screaming. Over time, the OCD will calm down when it sees that we don't react to it. OK, do you think you can take the same steps described above with your real event? Everybody with OCD has objections to treatment. What are your objections? After we discuss your objections, do you think you can take a step and apply these principles to your real event? If you can – even if you don't understand – you will get better. OCD recovery is about taking steps even when you feel like it's not OK to take those steps. You take them anyway, out of faith. What do you think?

@0542 Oh, you are just a kid!!!!! I'm so sorry you are suffering like this!!!! :(:(:(:(:( Do you have people around you who understand OCD? Would your parents know about the OCD? Would they let you start therapy with NOCD?

@Tea and Honey they don’t know about my ocd

@0542 It might be a good place to start to tell them.

@Tea and Honey And I'm still here to listen !! You are not meant to go through this struggle alone!! I did not get better until I started to talk to people

@Tea and Honey i tried telling my mom that people have ocd related to violent thoughts and she said something about it being criminal so i’m not taking my chances

@Tea and Honey Sorry i wasnt replying my app keeps freezing when i try to reply and i have to exit out of it, also i know about accepting the uncertainty but its very hard. :(

@0542 The thing is that you need training (like what you get from therapy) in order to learn how to keep moving on with life when the OCD wants you to spiral. A therapist can help give you tools. The therapist won't care if it's sexual, violent, harm related ,whatever type of thoughts. This is just how OCD works. OCD brings these types of thoughts. They are taboo. They are disturbing. And the person with OCD does not like them. But that's how OCD works. People who understand OCD will understand all this. Therapists understand all this. The truth is that the thoughts don't matter. And we can learn to ignore them.

@Tea and Honey I want a therapist so bad but i can’t afford one and my parents wont let me. my mom also thinks i dont have ocd because (this is embarrassing) i dont practice good hygiene sometimes due to depression :( I wish she knew there were other subtypes of ocd and that I could trust telling her :/

@0542 I posted a link to Nathan Peterson's YouTube below. Maybe you can let me know what you think of it?

@Tea and Honey Actually, the link is above this last text :):)

@Tea and Honey I liked the video, I think I’ve watched it before

@0542 That's great!! Some of the other videos could help too :):) I'm still here to talk anytime! Feel free to ask any questions! I can also send you a summary of ERP if you are interested.

@0542 So, let's talk more about your real event? You don't have to tell me anything specific. We can just talk about general principles. Does your real event make you feel like a terrible person? Let's start there.

@Tea and Honey Yes it does. :(

@0542 Is the problem that you cannot differentiate between what is real and what is OCD?

@0542 Are you able to say, "Maybe I'm a bad person, and maybe I'm not. I'm not going to try to figure it out. I'm not going to try to figure the memory out. In fact, I am going to do NOTHING about the past and just keep on living my life." Then, when the OCD screams at you that you have to figure out the memory, you practice doing nothing. And when the OCD screams at you that you are a bad person, you practice just living life as usual. It is uncomfortable to do this Because the OCD tells you that you are doing something WRONG by moving on with life. It is very uncomfortable, in fact. But if you can start practicing this, it will get easier over time. Do you think this is a step you can take? Why or why not?

@Tea and Honey 😀💙

@Tea and Honey The key for you is going to be stopping yourself from trying to figure it all out. Stop trying to figure out if you are a bad person or not. And stop trying to figure out the memory. Your job is to do NOTHING about the memory, whether you think it's real or not. You practice doing nothing, even though everything inside of you tells you that you are wrong for doing so .

@Tea and Honey i already do that but i have backdoor spikes.

@0542 Gotcha! Well, just remember that the fact that you recognize that those things are backdoor spikes is very good thing! You are on the right track. This is all part of the journey. Traveling ahead, learning to do NOTHING, experiencing the backdoor spikes, learning to deal with the backdoor spikes, and traveling ahead some more. The fact that you are aware of what is happening and that you know what to do is really, really good. You can do this! It gets easier with practice. One day, you will look back, and you won't even have thought about your current real event struggle in months. You will get there. I'm here if you have more questions. We can talk things out. Sometimes we need to just talk about the process. I know that with my OCD, I get lost in my confusion. It's easier for me to see what other people need to do, but it's harder for me to see the path in front of me.