Is anyone on here sub-clinical?

I have some questions!

CarinaW

Date posted: Yesterday

It depends on the week but I think that I sometimes test in the subclinical levels.

anonymous.22

Date posted: 22h

Wow that’s awesome! Being subclinical does that mean you can’t get really bad again? And how is everyday life ? Is it still always there or like crosses your mind like 1-2 times during the day but you bearly notice

CarinaW

Date posted: 22h

If it's helpful I can tell you that I am pretty sure I have had OCD since childhood but wasn't diagnosed until age 39 when life was getting harder for other non-OCD reasons. I think part of the reason was because my OCD has been relatively mild to moderate and the other reason was that I just didn't recognize what I was experiencing as OCD before I was diagnosed. I'm still going through some difficult life stuff but will have a string of days where I don't really notice my OCD at all. But also part of that is wondering what is OCD. And not being able to try on other people's brains for a day to compare makes it difficult to know for sure how much or how little I might be affected on the good days. Like if I have a horrible intrusive thought but can shrug it off (for the most part) does that mean I am living closer to a neurotypical experience or does the fact that I give the intrusive thought even a little bit if extra consideration mean I am still under the influence of OCD? Hopefully that makes sense??

anonymous.22

Date posted: 21h

yes I’ve noticed too that I’ve had OCD lingering in the background but I also never realised it, but I definitely get what your saying I quite often think of that too even though I’m not subclinical! But like with it being there is it a constant string of thoughts and you just don’t react or it’s like 1 thought that day then back to another week of not noticing OCD then maybe 4 thoughts another day then back so on so on. If that makes any sense at all!!

CarinaW

Date posted: 21h

@anonymous.22 I think I know what your asking but unfortunately it's so hard to give a perfect answer because I forget so much of the details (even though I am an avid journaler).

CarinaW

Date posted: 21h

I think your example is basically accurate. Maybe one day of getting a bunch of intrusive thoughts but not really being too bothered followed by a few days of not noticing OCD at all followed by another day where I might feel almost totally consumed by OCD seems fairly accurate.

anonymous.22

Date posted: 20h

@CarinaW - Okay thank you!! That helps a lot, but one more question do you ever get certainty on these things like do you ever feel certain on what’s actually true I just want things to feel clear and not messy and to know exactly what I like and want you know

CarinaW

Date posted: 20h

@anonymous.22 Yes, I do feel like I have certainty sometimes/often times! Or at least to the extent that anyone can feel certain about anything. Unfortunately, I think recovery looks more like accepting that we'll never fully have the right answers versus being fully confident all the time.

CarinaW

Date posted: 20h

@anonymous.22 And unfortunately I occasionally slip back into doubt on the same things I felt like I had certainty on before. Though typically it's not as bad on subsequent times.

anonymous.22

Date posted: 20h

@CarinaW - Ughh it just sucks never fully being confident of anything life just feels doomed how am I able to ever get through life if I don’t know who I am? Thank you for answering my questions!! It’s been very helpful❤️‍🩹

anonymous.22

Date posted: 19h

@CarinaW - Okay one more thing though is it possible to completely get over a theme or distressing thought and get complete certainty over it?

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