Sometimes I wonder if it would just be easier to be single? Legitimately it seems more fair to both parties. One shouldn't have to constantly worry if their partner loves them and one shouldn't second guess everything constantly. It seems like torture. Not really looking for any answer to this. More just frustrated and unsure of my relationship because of this dynamic
Love is tough, but loneliness is twice as hard.
Your feelings are very valid. Just want you to know
Our culture has really not helped this, has it? 😕 Is there something been going on in the relationship, or is it more that you struggle with trusting yourself in it? I've been there on the latter part....it's very not easy.
@"Book-em Dano" I've dealt with doubts about my physical attraction for years and that's just spurned on my OCD. Also doesn't help that I had a non OCD therapist tell me to her that I found her unattractive at times. It's hard for her to not remember that. That being said she doesn't think I'm all in
@Anonymous Our emotions are strong, and very convincing at times. They can fluctuate on a whim. Our culture can at times tell us to rely entirely on our emotions, but doing this can get us into trouble. Pay attention to your emotions, but don't let them control you, whether in relationships or life in general. There will be times when we will not FEEL as attracted to our Significant Other or Spouse as we do at other times. That's just the way it is. But that in itself doesn't equate to meaning that we're in the wrong relationship, or that we are not all in with the relationship. It is hard to NOT think that way, though, when we are used to giving those questions more definitive meaning than we ought to. And that's one of the things that OCD does.... It can cause us to interpret so many more of our thoughts in ways that cause us to assign more meaning to certain thoughts than we ought to assign. I've been married for five years.... In those five years, we've had some fights that, in the aftermath, when my emotions are still riled up, I wonder if I made the wrong decision in marrying her. But, you cannot totally escape conflict. How you manage that conflict is the key, and it takes both of you to do it. So my wife and I have been learning how to have conflict, how to support each other and give each other the benefit of the doubt. And those thoughts I have had, wondering if I should have married her.... Those thoughts never stay. And we continue to grow together 🙂 All of that to say.... (1) I believe everyone experiences similar questions in various ways, so you are not alone in that. (2) Just because you question, doesn't mean that you have to grant meaning to those questions - you can choose what degree of meaning you assign to them. Those questions don't automatically define the health of your relationship. I hope for the best for you, and I hope all this is helpful and isn't too much. It's the kind of thing that I wish someone would have told me years ago.
I don’t think so, because OCD makes you want to avoid things and it perpetuates the loop. Have the relationship🩷 you are not your OCD
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