Need help

Know that OCD isn't your fault. I went through a really difficult time several years ago with the hypervgilience and dissociation and what you are describing. I started therapy with OCD and with a psychiatrist who really helped me. I still struggle from time to time, but I have had good times as well. I had false memory themes and felt I couldn't live with myself. I now realized that I internalized the trauma I went through as a child as a survival coping mechanism. Basically, a child thinks well if I am bad then I can be better and control thing and that is where OCD comes in. If a child thinks well it isn't my fault then the world is a scary place and will feel more out of control.During this terrible OCD time, I even had a nighttime hallucination where snapshots of religious art played over and over again. I took it as a sign to have faith. I don't think it matters whether you are religious or not though. Just having faith in something is enough 🙏 Also, learning about radical acceptance helped me a lot. We don't have to like our thoughts, we can be angry and sad about the thoughts, but they are thoughts. And even if it is false memory/real memory, you can practice radical acceptance as well. Another thing that helps me going forward is to connect to a purpose. I have thought maybe I am struggling, so I can help other people who struggle or understand others people's struggles better and can connect with people and help them. It helps me to feel less alone and keeps me going forward. Also, remember if you feel hopeless, you only need to get through one day at a time and the next day just focus on that day. Eventually, you are going to come out on the other side when the storm passes. Hope this helps 🙏

Your sole job right now is to get better. That means a lot of things. Forget about work. Reach out to family/friends. Make a list of activities you can/like to do and aim to do some of them every day. Be self-compassionate with yourself (this is a hard one, but very important). M fixation is good. Take benzodiazepines if necessary. Therapy is good. Make sure treatment is ERP oriented. If eliminating compulsions is impossible, aim to delay them. Get to know the subtype you’re dealing with. I found it extremely helpful, especially amid low-insight moments. Use 54321-method when anxiety is at its peak.

hello! I also suffer DPDR and honestly j just hyper focus on my symptoms and feelings. One thing that helps me is understanding the neuroscience behind DPDR and telling myself that its a trauma state or state of overwhelming stress and while its wildly uncomfortable its not dangerous