Exhausted from feeling unsafe

100% you advocate for yourself, especially since you have experienced trauma regarding this (which I am very sorry for). Set boundaries when you don’t feel safe and yeah cut people off when they cross those boundaries. I am glad you are doing those things. And could it happen with your friend? Yes. But it hasn’t yet. It’s normal for friends to develop feelings and in my opinion that shouldn’t be something to hold against them. Again, 1000% protect yourself if they do anything to violate your boundaries. But try to sit with the uncertainty for now that you don’t know that will happen. If they are your best friend i’m guessing it’s for a reason, and I know you have experienced betrayal already so it’s hard to put your trust in someone again, but it is something I would encourage you to try here. I don’t think either of you should feel guilty. You just like each other in different ways and that unfortunately happens all of the time. Hopefully if you talk about this with your friend you can find a way to move forward that’s best for both of you. This is a tough one because you have a really well-developed sense of yourself and your values and I don’t want to challenge that at all. I also know that overcoming ocd means sitting with uncomfortable things. So i’m trying to gently encourage you to sit with the beneficial uncomfortable things if that makes sense, while recognizing that there are objectively some things that could make you uncomfortable that you should not tolerate. I am hoping some of this makes sense and I hope you find some peace with this.