Bitter feelings with some happy smiles

Today went smooth.. I had an event today at a preschool and I got to assist and play with some little kids! (It was only me + another girl and different schools..) I loved their personalities, and this career awareness day was sort of an ERP for me as well. One of the little girls at some point as well blew her nose onto my hand with a tissue, and just left it there.. normally I would've flipped, but she was such a sweet little girl! I just went "ewewww lol" and moved on. The rest went good and some OCD fears lingered and for the rest of the day more triggers happened with unrelated things during school.. but it's okay, as I said it still went smooth. 💜: ) Although depression and OCD doesn't poof right afterwards sadly,, as I came back home is as if all my previous feelings as well as pain returned at full force. The feeling of desolation as well as my morbid thinking of my life, I'm losing the will to live, and with my OCD subtypes are at a severe rate, it's hard. I'm suffering a lot, and I'm fighting with the strength I have left. But seeing those happy kids today, it reminded me of my childhood that really lasted for 7 years. I almost felt sad when I saw that same little girl talk to me with such energy, it was the innocence that got me really.. it made me miss that feeling but I also felt comforted to see a kid so happy. I pray that she has an amazing future as ahe grows. As well as the other kids. And because of that as well, I'll really try to just breathe and comfort myself. Because at one point I was a sweet little girl just like them. And to you who's in this community, I say the same. We were all little babies at one point. Playing and having fun.. we're now older and many of us are suffering, but just please try and be kind to yourself. If not for you, then try for your younger self, please.

Facing_my_fe...

Date posted: 4d

Im so so proud of you!!! You’re so strong, we are all so so incredibly strong, strongest people on the planet I say, this condition is so strange and can feel helpless but it isn’t, we’re all holding hands, the thousands of us with this condition and trying to get better.! Love🫂♥️❤️

VVbee

Date posted: 20h

Thank you so much for encouraging me..! I'm really trying my best and seeing other people fight as hard with this disorder is what keeps me kicking. I hope to see us improve as time goes by. 🫂💜💜💜

Amy B.

Date posted: 4d

I'm so glad you were able to get out there and work with little kids. They can be so sweet and fun, and It sounds like you really loved it! Sorry things have been hard too, but you are an incredibly strong person. Hang in there!

VVbee

Date posted: 20h

Yes, I really did have fun..! They were in fact really sweet, <33 thank you for the support, I'm trying as hard as I can, even when it's really difficult. 💜💜

megmckenna

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 4d

Thanks for sharing 💕I actually had a similar experience working at a festival for kids today, I was watching the most adorable baby (and her parents) play and exprience everything with such pure joy, and it made me think that I was once in that position too and owe it to myself to be kind to myself even when my ocd makes it feel impossible. I want to let myself think the best of myself despite intrusive thoughts!

VVbee

Date posted: 20h

First of all, awww ! What a cute experience, I always find it wholesome whenever I come across those moments. But I agree, as I said we were all just that little baby playing around while strangers said aww to us. I really hope you're truly being kind to yourself as well as not letting OCD beat you, I appreciate you sharing back. 💜💜

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