For me OCD feels like a gut punch, kinda like a guilt feeling. It can be distressing at times, curious what other people’s experiences have been!
Depends on the particular trigger or feelings each day for me personally. Sometimes it feels like deep dread or worry dropping to my stomach (kinda like the feeling of when you’re a kid and you hear a parent’s angry footsteps coming towards you cause you did something bad lol), sometimes it’s like an itch I can’t scratch in my brain, and sometimes it’s like a heart squeezing dull throb almost? Hard to explain! Lol
Sometimes it feels like whack a mole, sometimes it feels like I was walking in the sun and suddenly there's a heavy downpour I'm trapped in. Sometimes it feels like what the person above said and I get this guilty feeling like a kid waiting for an angry reaction from a parent (this is closer to how it felt today)
I always seem to have this heavy weight of doom. A lot of the time, I get thoughts that I’m going to do something bad so that impending doom is always there. But, it is currently changing to things I’ve said, so that heavy weight is more like guilt now. It’s kinda strange noticing this shift, but the same fear is always the same.
so much doom, demoralization, and dread.
It started out feeling like self introspection problem solving that was supposedly a "good thing" It used to feel like sweating, fast heart beat, panic, urgency It used to feel like OCD tendencies Now? It feels like it's depleted my brain entirely in every way, burnt me out, is a chronic every day disorder, a nightmare, low optimism, depressed, demoralized, feel like I'm dying, feel like I'm losing my identity, all day tension headaches are my normal / default, falling asleep is the best part of my day, but even then I have OCD compulsions in my actual dreams...it feels like OCD is me and I am OCD. That's the hell. It's become so normalized that you don't know where you begin and OCD ends. This started out as an innocent habit, 10 years later, it's become a monster that dominates life and thought process. "It gets better!" No, in my experience, it gets worse and worse until you eventually develop dementia and die. That said, I've never gone to ERP yet so maybe that will be my life line. Have A Nice Day!! :D
@Dude01 The OCD compulsions in the dreams are the worst! Man it sucks that it has gotten so bad for you, I had a period of time similar to yours and I thought I’d start to go crazy and need to go to a facility to be locked up - but, I refused to let it get there. I WANT to be happy, I NEED to love life. So I fought, and I searched for what to do. I relied on my loved ones even when they didn’t know what to do. It took finally getting meds and removing a huge stressor from my life before I started seeing improvement just this year. It does get worse, but then it gets better. There’s the calm before the storm, and then there’s the rainbow when the storm blows over with beautiful silver linings on the clouds.
@Dude01 I am so sorry for all you are going through, Jesus sees you and He loves you! I really think on top of believing in Christ that ERP might just help! I’ll be praying for you all!!! I’ll appreciate prayers as well! God bless!!!
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