Relationships OCD, please be kind and gentle

hi everyone! this is my first time ever posting anything on here and I’m really scared and this is not like a super big feeling for me because I know that I have OCD and I’m trying to tell myself that it’s simply OCD and it is not that big of a deal. But literally, a five second interaction has me upset and feeling like I’m being too flirtatious and I’m cheating on my boyfriend. My cousin’s friend who my cousin is like 40 and his friends like 40, we’re outside and I was coming back in with my laundry, and I had received a compliment from his friend saying my singing was beautiful. I come back with my laundry. I’m holding my laundry bag and I’m like talking to my cousin and I know that the guy is looking at me so I’m looking at my cousin and I’m like smiling and I’m talking in like a sweet voice and I feel like like anyone I want other people to view me as pretty and cute but in a weird way, I feel like my feelings were a little bit different ? and I feel like I was carrying myself in a way where it’s like oh I want you to think I look pretty and I look cute and my mannerisms, I just feel that I look back on a lot of my interactions with people and I’m scared that I’m like being disloyal or being weird and I know I’m not and I know that’s not what’s going on and if somebody thinks I look cute or pretty that’s simply a human thing that everyone wants other people to do but I just get so scared and worried. And I feel like I’m looking out for reassurance for someone to tell me that’s not what’s happening, but I just really need to know like am I being weird to my boyfriend? I care about him so much and this relationship is very fresh and I don’t wanna hurt him. I want a relationship to be built on trust and loyalty and beauty. In the past, I know that I would like attention seek from other people and I feel like now my OCD is using that against me where it’s like I’m constantly in a battle with myself. Please be honest in the comments and just be gentle about your honesty, please

AbiDrew

Date posted: 12h

Sounds like you’re doing a good job of identifying the fact that your fears are OCD not based on reality. Just based on what you wrote, which is what you already know to be true- sounds like you had an interaction with someone who maybe noticed that you have a good voice and that you are attractive. That’s awesome. Sounds like someone has ears and eyes :) I agree with you - I think that it is a human thing to notice an attractive person - and also sounds like an OCD thing for you to ascribe a negative connotation to receiving positive feedback / such a short interaction. Oh ocd - how rude. And I don’t know, but to me it feels like growth if you can process your feelings here so It reduces the amount of reassurance you seek from your boyfriend. Maybe a heads up for hin that this was a hard interaction for you - but maybe try not to assign blame that you’re a bad person or did anything wrong per se

Cyb3r

Date posted: 11h

thank you so much. I truly appreciate this. I constantly feel that if I want people to perceive me in an attractive or cute way or if I do anything that could come off as flirtatious that it’s cheating and I’m this loyal and my boyfriend would hate me and all of that and I just appreciate that you took the time to read this and reply

Cyb3r

Date posted: 11h

@Cyb3r - disloyal*

Catmom4

Date posted: 7h

I’m with you that even if I can identify something as OCD, it still sucks feeling the anxiety of possibly doing something wrong. Give yourself some compassion. You know your values and live them out to the best of your ability.

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