- Date posted
- 13h
Is this OCD?
hello. ive never been “tested” or anything to find out if i actually have it or not, but ive been convinced for about a year and a half that i do. i thought id download a support app like this and ask from people who actually have it: does this seem like something worth reaching out to a professional about? - i consistently drive myself crazy/give myself headaches/mentally burn out by repeating the same line in a song over and over again against my will. nothing i seem to do makes it go away until it simply fades. this can last anywhere from 5-90 long minutes. - i think ive come to the conclusion that i have some kind of dermatillomania. i often find myself picking at my skin (all over my body: back, fingers, face, knees) when i hadnt realized it prior to catching myself. i find it hard to stop once ive noticed and can also get into obsessive fits over being able to pick at my skin until it is completely smooth/flush with the rest of the surrounding area. this can also stem from me simply feeling my own skin and finding an “impurity” like a bump or something. it used to be so bad that i would try to tear my goosebumps off if i ever got them. - i need to have everything meticulously planned out before i do it. for example: lets say i want to relax in bed and journal a bit. that would be impossible without about 2+ hours of prep beforehand. i have to shower (which is its own hellish process), make my bed, clean my room, make sure my room is at a certain temperature, make sure the pajamas i want to be in are clean (and if they arent then i would wash them), get all my journalling supplies together, find the right music to play, etc. i feel paralyzed if i cannot prepare for things like that. if i desperately want to do something but dont have the means to “prepare” for it, then i become obsessive and irritable. this also applies to work/school. if i cant do a project, take notes, write a paper/lab, or anything right the first time, i struggle to start it at all. - i have crippling social anxiety. im constantly thinking about what the people around me are thinking. i feel hyper-aware of peoples emotions and the changes in their attitude/behavior. it is so tiring to deal with and i cant turn it off. - i have indecent thoughts about people i would never ever ever in my life consider willingly. these thoughts extend to family and friends, and in ways im even terrified to think of. i oftentimes have thoughts of someone close to me r@ping or assaulting me (even though i know they would never do that). ive heard this is a pretty solid sign of OCD but im just not sure. i am disgusted by these thoughts but they are relatively easy to shake out of my head compared to the whole song lyric thing. - i am perpetually unsure of what is real or not because i daydream so lucidly and so frequently. i will be stuck talking to someone in my head and be called out more times than id like to admit. this is one of the bigger reasons i think im going crazy… please if anyone has any input or advice/instruction on what i should do, please help