Help

@Anonymous But I feel like I could hold my urges. I’ve never had this promblem before till the end of last school year I just wanna be a better person and stay strong

@chrisiscool92727 That makes sense but when you say urges do you mean like actual sexual urges or desires or just the unintentional noticing of girls yams

@Anonymous I think both but I don’t feel lust or anything. I feel like a urge or a stress in my body or even sometimes my eyes lock and I can’t catch myself

@chrisiscool92727 I don’t wanna use any of It as a excuse because I view it as wrong because I love my gf

@chrisiscool92727 What you’re experiencing is common today and the fact you’re trying to rise above means your heart is in the right place and you have the potential to be a truly good man. The first thing you need to address is your dopamine levels. You are feeling drawn to something sexual and feeling “locked” onto it because your brain craves the dopamine it may have once given you. You need to invest time and energy into other hobbies to balance this. When you catch yourself looking at yams, look away from them, acknowledge that that’s another persons body part, and remind yourself who it is that you want to be. Desexualize your mind and be free. This will take time and will take you investing more mental and physical energy into non sexual things that make you happy

@Anonymous Okay deal. Thank you so much

@Community AI Helper Yes

@chrisiscool92727 - Happy to share! One thing worth naming first: the double-checking itself is a compulsion. Re-checking where your eyes went, replaying moments to confirm you didn't look too long, and monitoring your gaze all give a second of relief, and that relief is exactly what teaches the guilt to come back louder next time. The urges and the noticing aren't the problem to solve — the checking is. "What is compulsive staring?" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-compulsive-staring Written by Dr. Patrick McGrath, this covers the exact pattern you described — the fear of your eyes going somewhere "inappropriate," the constant awareness of where you're looking, and the checking that follows — plus why recovery doesn't mean getting rid of the urges. "How to deal with guilt and shame from OCD" https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-guilt-and-shame-from-ocd For the guilt that's building up around wanting to be good to your girlfriend, this explains why OCD latches onto the things you care about most and how to stop treating that guilt as proof you've done something wrong. Are you working with a therapist who specializes in OCD specifically, or more of a general therapist? 💬 Was this response helpful? Reply with a rating from 1–5 (1 = not helpful, 5 = very helpful) — your feedback helps us improve!