Advice?

But remember, reassurance actually increases the power that OCD has over us. That’s probably why the reassurance we receive (and if we’re honest, actively seek or crave from our loved ones) actually works against us. No wonder he gets frustrated—because the reassurance we receive does not snap us out of our OCD spirals, but rather makes it spin all the more out of control. Try asking him just to hold you, gently whisper that “your OCD is manifesting,” and leave it there. It is far better for us to sit with the discomfort and uncertainty than to elicit reassurance that’s like a superfood for our OCD. Hope this helps — you got this!

Hi! Sorry you’re going through this. When getting treatment for OCD, our therapists constantly reiterate that seeking reassurance and getting reassurance from yourself or your partner, or family continues to reinforce the cycle of OCD. He’s not helping you when he reassures you and you’re not helping yourself when you’re constantly seeking it. Hence the frustration and the increase in the spiraling. In order to help something like this, you have to stop reassurance seeking and he has to stop reassuring you. ERP teaches us to sit with the uncertainty and discomfort of situations instead of trying to soothe them or make them go away. It is hard. But it is possible. I wish you guys the best.

(i had sent a comment previously but i worded it badly, so i just decided to redo the comment) it’s really hard to deal with this stuff, as someone with experience in the topic of reassurance seeking as well, except it was familial and the person getting frustrated was my brother over me constantly going to him about moral discourses. we decided among ourselves that it isn’t good that i keep going to him for reassurance, and that i would only go to him with problems that were given time and related to him. i’m still struggling with this, but i promise you that the best thing you can do is at least take time. if the problem is truly something you need to talk to him about, think out what you had a problem with, why you had a problem with it, and what you want to achieve in having the conversation. if all you want to achieve is reassurance, i think that it’s best to work it out with yourself, even though it’s really hard. but i am warning that this could be completely bad advice. i am not a professional, but this is what i think brings me down to earth a bit. it’s very important to identify when you’re delirious. good luck, i wish you the best