Ugh

My ex is demented in the head but I still want him back . He told me we need to see others and not to hold onto hope and then got pissed when I hooked up with people because apparently only going on dates with others was ok with him. Then a couple weeks later he told me he’s “taking his talents elsewhere” he’s seeing someone new and it’s a taste of my own medicine. I don’t know why I still want him . But I just can’t stop being consumed by thoughts of how unfair this is. He’s saying he can’t imagine doing that to someone he loves but he literally broke up with me??? And now apparently I’m playing the victim ??? We’ve been no contact for weeks but it’s still driving me insane like I just hate him but part of me still wants him back bc I’m fearful he’s treating this new girl way better and telling her she’s so much better and more pure than me

Anonymous

Date posted: 21h

He sound like a narcissistic and controlling. Sometimes is hard to get out of a relationship when someone is like this. It’s hard to move on when you’ve been manipulated. Try to let him go your better off without him. You got this.

Firefly girl

Date posted: 19h

@Anonymous I feel like some of it is my fault tho bc even my friend with rocd said “he’s stuck with you “ and he was like really sticking by me at one point and then I feel like my mental health has just gone to shit over the last year and I took a lot of it out on him

sick&tired

Date posted: 18h

@Firefly girl Hey girl, I don’t know the details here, but I can tell you that I stayed with an abusive partner because I downplayed the abuse and focused on the good parts. I didn’t even realize it was abuse at the time. He also supported me when my mental health was really bad and did things you would consider kind and thoughtful. But that literally doesn’t matter. None of that is more important than abuse, causing me harm, disrespecting me, etc. You mention that some stuff may be your fault. But even if I made a mistake in the relationship, so what? My punishment is to trap myself with an abusive partner? My OCD would always tell me “well, what if you hurt him too? Maybe you’re not so perfect either!” And that unfortunately kept me stuck in the relationship. Again, I don’t know your situation and I’m not a therapist, so please consult one. My only goal is to show you that you’re not alone and I also didn’t know how to deal with this and kept blaming myself. In my experience, if you stay, and forgive and forgive, and overlook this and that, this person will only treat you worse and worse. Abuse is NEVER the victim’s fault. I’m vulnerable because of my OCD/autism/ADHD, and I think they knew they could get away with it since I couldn’t enforce my boundaries and always doubted myself. It’s really messed up and it’s still NOT my fault. Here’s a resource for you - https://www.loveisrespect.org/ I wish you well. Please focus on loving and protecting yourself. Learn about healthy relationships. Make yourself proud, pour all of this energy back into yourself. I know it seems hard now but you will forever thank yourself. Take care. 🩷

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