Researching

I stopped researching for about 3 weeks then I fell back into it for the last two weeks. I feel horrible. The thoughts have been like whack a mole. I have scrupulosity ocd and was raised Assembly of God and very legalistically. I’ve tried to follow the rules my whole life and my ocd has latched onto this legalism. I have explored different denominational teachings that are more grace based but I don’t know which teachings I believe. I’m having a hard time accepting my humanity and imperfections. Any words of encouragement are appreciated. I’ve been struggling badly since 32 and I am now 38. I am just completing my first full year of ERP. I’m exhausted. I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I’m trying to trust God that I’m going to get through this but it’s really really hard and healing js not linear unfortunately.

Ben84

Date posted: Yesterday

My journey might look a bit different, but I definitely relate too all this in general.

joyfilled

Date posted: 22h

Also finding healthy Christian community

JS55555

Date posted: Yesterday

I have had the researching compulsion very bad to one day reaching researching for 16 hours straight one day last august. The best thing you can do is at least slowly claw back at its constrain on you. Can you try resisting and doing something else for 15 minutes? Also this video and related videos were incredibly helpful and actually have successfully stopped my googling at times. It is meant to be played when you feel the urge. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mtbptKJHQ1w&pp=ygUpQWxpIGdyZXltb25kIHBsYXkgdGhpcyBiZWZvcmUgcmVzZWFyY2hpbmc%3D

joyfilled

Date posted: 22h

Hey! I’m a Christian. I grew up pretty religious and performance based but in recent years have come to know of a personal relationship with God. I do have scrupulosity symptoms but thankfully my relationship with God is still good. One think that really helps me is just sitting still and imagining Jesus sitting next to you telling you that He loves you and He’s proud of you. I love churches like UPPERROOM and Jesus Image and Bethel! They’re really solid. Also I think having some verses you can just run back to like Psalm 139. Or Isaiah 61 or Isaiah 43. Or Matthew 28:18-20. He loves you sooo much. Remember, His voice is ALWAYS kind. Because God is love and love is kind.

joyfilled

Date posted: 22h

Also, sometimes when I sit and pray I’ll start doing repetitive religious prayers, but if I like walk around a park or my neighborhood and pretend I’m holding his hand it’s easier. Or if I put on a worship song and decide to just dance wildly like David. Or just noticing things you love and being like wow God thank you. Also when you try to talk to Him as you would a friend. Like hey, how are you today? Love you!

joyfilled

Date posted: 22h

Ooooh the Fathers Song by UPPERROOM, Elyssa could be really impactful!! It’s like God singing over you🫶🏻

joyfilled

Date posted: 22h

Another thing is like I have a hard time going back and forth when making decisions like what is he saying? But then you can remind yourself oh wait I have freedom in Christ! Or call a friend and ask them to pray with you about it. Or if it’s like does God want me to eat breakfast? Or go to the gym or something? You can just pick!! And He will love you either way

joyfilled

Date posted: 22h

Also thinking of God as a shepherd, like if you’re wondering if it’s God, you can be like would a shepherd treat his little lamb like this? And if the answer is no, it’s probably not him. Psalm 23 is great for this. I love just laying in grass and watching clouds with him!

joyfilled

Date posted: 22h

Also I love that our usernames go together :)

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