Eating disorder

First I want to acknowledge that what you’re experiencing is so difficult and painful. I’ve been where you are many times before and it’s a very hard place to be. I’ve struggled with binge eating disorder since childhood, though wasn’t formally diagnosed until recently. For me it started around age 7 with sneaking food. My mom would heavily restrict the types of food I was allowed to eat, and then on top of that I experienced cyclical hunger due to financial struggles. So I kind of got into this pattern of eating as much as I could when food was available, sneaking “bad” foods on the rare occasions I had access, and then enduring hunger or heavily restricted intake the last week of the month when bills came due and money was tight. Now I’m an adult and have full control over when and what I eat, but that old pattern of eating has been impossible to break on my own. I also went from working a labor job to a desk job and then to being a stay at home parent. Those transitions led to significant weight gain and a whole lot of body image issues that I didn’t realize I had came on strong. I tried dieting but my OCD latches on and makes me starve myself which leads me to binge eat, which makes me feel fat, so then I try to diet to lose weight and the cycle continues. All that to say, eating disorders feel so lonely and dark but you’re not alone. I recently started working with a dietician and I can’t recommend it enough. She has been so helpful in guiding me gently towards a healthier self-image and healthier eating habits. Most health insurance will cover a dietician if you have an eating disorder diagnosis or certain family health history things. I would encourage you to speak with your primary car doctor or therapist about your concerns. I wish I had reached out years ago but I honestly didn’t realize I had a serious problem. I wish you the very best. With the right support you can get to a healthier place! God bless you 🙏

Thank you so much ur so amazing im so proud of u for getting to where u are now but yeah i am really struggling I feel like it's getting so bad I can't do anything I want to me I look humongous and so disgusting but yeah my mums got me an appointment for tommrow to see if I can get some help if not we're gonna get a private helper if you know what I mean a psychologist that's what it's called but thank u so so so much for replying to me you've helped me so much already honeslty!xxx