How was everyone’s day

@lemonmuffin I’m good thank you… iv had a really hard 12 months and ocd ruined my pregnancy and it ruined the first few months of my maternity leave and now I’m just not letting it anymore I’m going to come out on the other side stronger than ever and I want everyone else to know we are always going to be stronger than our ocd we are fighters

@lemonmuffin I hope your doing good too you deserve it

@MM90 Im sorry but congratulations on your pregnancy ☀️you are right and you wrote this very nicely, im also fighting hard hoping theres exit somewhere from this, remembering how it was before all this started inside the head, but only with fighting and strong wish we can win this 🩷

@lemonmuffin Thank you very much she’s 6 months now and I wish it hadn’t taken that time away from me (by that I mean it would creep in in the best of moments) but now I’m going to fully embrace it and you know what we will win this we are stronger than we know and we’ve got each other we are not alone ever

@MM90 Aw! You still have much time while shes that small dont worry, remember and dont be hard on yourself, enjoy it as much as you can, you are going to win this one day with that attitude dont worry 🩷

@lemonmuffin I really appreciate this but you deserve to have peace too, I know you’re going to beat this I’m rooting for you… we will both get through it and will look back and realise we are so strong and brave to be able to do it ❤️❤️ you deserve every bit of enjoyment life can give you

@MM90 You are very kind thank you so much, just hoping one day to wake up without caring about this inside my head, without compulsions that dictate my life and freedom which is completely taken by ocd, and to forget about this 🎈

@lemonmuffin I can promise you now all day it’s tried to sneak it I struggle with mental reviewing and it’s one of the hardest compulsions to fight because you don’t even realise your doing it till it’s too late all my fears are surrounding my baby girl being taken away from me and as a mother that’s possibly the most distressing thing ever but I’m just not letting it take every bit of happiness I have I’m really trying my best… we’ve got this I’m not the only one and neither are you and I know how incredibly hard this is to deal with it’s a mental prison, but you’ve got this and so have I don’t let it take anymore time off you please… we’ve are going to come out on the other end all of us I know we are

@MM90 I understand you don’t worry, I dont have much people around with OCD to actually understand the struggle so talking like this with someone makes me at least a bit at peace. The fact that you are aware that those thoughts and compulsions arent you is also a way out of it. But it really is draining and the magical thinking is eating up all of the energy, its as you said a mental prison, at some days I just don’t see the way out it sticks to the smallest things and details.

@lemonmuffin It’s so difficult to not have people around who understand it’s almost like they think your crazy for even worrying about it, It makes it all that much harder it’s such a good platform this to really air out your worry’s without reassurance and to see other people also have the same struggles you do… I know what you mean with magical thinking it’s a seriously scary thing I have bad false memory at the moment and the fact my brain can convince me of something Iv got no proof of is so scary but Iv got to keep myself open to healing only I can do it and only you can do it for yourself… we really show up every single day and get through the worst times the times we think we would never get through but here we are talking openly and we know what this is we know it’s just ocd and that’s the first step to a bright future… come on we are in this together and we will get through it no matter how tough it feels right now

@MM90 You are very kind thank you very much 🩷 write anytime you want to talk and know you aren’t alone!!!! And to add about false memory, it is draining me aswell around compulsions and did i do everything correctly, which takes time, so I understand you.

@lemonmuffin And so are you thank you for this conversation it makes you realise there’s a lot of people struggling the way you are and you write to me anytime too I’ll always be here you’ve got a friend who really understands ❤️❤️

@MM90 Ofc we are young we just have a parasite in the head that can be beaten by strength and wish ☀️☀️

@lemonmuffin You’ve got it right there it’s not us it doesn’t define us what does define us is our strength to overcome it ❤️❤️❤️

@MM90 It is, the problem is that ocd took away my original personality, I was never a static person, always was for movement and energetic, now am scared to explore and to be myself again because of triggers around so would rather be safe at one place than explore and have freedom, which for me exactly feels like a jail. Just want that back tbh.

@lemonmuffin You don’t understand how much this resonates with me… it truly is a mental prison within yourself and you can see how you was before and it’s freeing and you would give anything to have that back… but only we can do it for ourselves we’ve got to have that strength to overcome this, it’s easier said than done I can promise you I truly struggle every second of the day but Iv got to a point where I think I just can’t do it anymore I’m going to enjoy every second even if my ocd tells me it’s unsafe, even if it demands what ifs, I just want freedom I want myself back the carefree happy me and the fact we can see it there we will get to that point I know we will we’ve just got to keep fighting the ocd is not us it’s just there in our mind it proves to us we are caring and maybe it ruins our days but we’ve got to keep going all of us suffering with it… it’s not us it’s a prison and we will escape I know it

@MM90 For real I relate to this part where I just can’t anymore at the end i sometimes just give up from compulsions because if I don’t it would take hours man and even with our without them everything is going wrong which I blame on ocd

@lemonmuffin Honestly I had one fear that didn’t even have proof and it was every second of the waking day I would compulsively reassurance seek online with my partner in myself it was so frightening and because I did this so much it felt so real it became a part of my life and after so many months of this I was so drained it wasn’t even anxiety anymore it just became sadness, it got to a point where I would get new fears because I let this one go and because the new ones gave me anxiety I would wish for this old fear back because it felt comforting in a strange way… when I say my ocd is constant I mean it I could literally do anything and it would result in my baby girl being taken off me… it’s awful I hate it so much but I can honestly say I will not let it take anything from me anymore no matter what it throws at me I will overcome it and if I can I know you can and anyone can… thank you so much for having this conversation with me it’s so freeing to be able to talk like this without reassurance without feeling judged you don’t understand how much this means to me… I see how brave people are on this app and I envy this bravery because even now I’m so frightened to even say the fears because I think people will believe Iv done it or that it’s real… your a true friend and I’ll always be here anytime you need a chat I promise you

@MM90 Yes same sometimes I wish that ocd stayed as it was at the beginning when I thought THAT was draining but now when remembering it was very much easier, it has become unbearable and very uncomfortable sometimes, back then there was still a lot more freedom which now is becoming less and less, but am hearing you and understand you and relate to you very much. Thank you though, when I see someone that understands I immediately start opening about it because if not it would eat me completely. Can I ask whats your name? 🩵

@lemonmuffin Don’t worry about it, we are in this together we know the struggle and we will beat it I promise you… don’t ever let ocd take anymore time away from you, we are better than that and it’s just a parasite of the brain like you said. Tomorrow may be hard it may try its best to get back in but I’m taking back my freedom I’m taking back control and I know you are… my name is Megan I’m from the UK what’s your first name ??

@lemonmuffin And you too I love your name it’s beautiful… 🥰🥰 you’ve got a friend for life with me we share the same mental prison and I’ll always be here for you if you need someone to vent to… I’m glad to meet you, you’ve been a great person to speak to and I truly appreciate it you didn’t have to reply to me but you did and that means the world to me

@MM90 Ofc no problem, youre very polite appreciate you 🩵 just write when you wanna talk

@Mattf2 I’m glad to hear it you’ve not let it win and that’s all that matters your stronger than it will ever be never forget that… your not alone

@Mattf2 And you know what ocd tried to get in today but Iv not let it Iv lived with the uncertainty and it’s not winning anymore…

@An0nymouss122 I completely understand please don’t let it take anymore of your time you deserve happiness and freedom to enjoy your days… you only live once and every decision you make no matter how difficult is the decision that was best for you, you’ve got this you battle ocd every single day and that’s an achievement in itself I’m here for you and I’m proud your showing up right now thank you for replying ❤️❤️

@Anonymous It always finds a way to ruin things sometimes I find myself enjoying my day but then it’s like it creeps in (but what if) and then ruins it… but every single day we get up, we get through the day… it’s like it seeks out the anxiety, the fear but that’s the compulsion we can get through it tomorrow might be a bad day for me but I will not let it take away my good days… you deserve to feel happy and so does everyone else suffering with this mental prison we call OCD. ❤️❤️ you can do it, you do it everyday your safe and it’s just thoughts, they cannot beat you

@MM90 Thank you for the lovely wishes and the beautiful message ❤️. I wish the same for you and i hope you find peace and break out of this mental prison

@Anonymous We suffer together and knowing that I’m not the only one with these awful fears helps me, we’ve got this we will get through this and we are stronger and louder than OCD ever will be, come on we can beat it together every day at a time every hard moment we overcome makes us more resilient ❤️❤️❤️ I’m routing for you

@MM90 Im routing for you too! It really is a comforting feeling that we're not alone and part of a community, theres a strong sense of warm belonging

@Anonymous Don’t ever feel alone because your not we arnt the only ones with this struggle and no matter what the ocd tells us we are survivors we are strong and we can beat it.. it will throw a fit it will throw new fears at you but you are better than that and we are all sick of it… we will win I know it