I struggle with speaking up about my OCD

you’re not lazy and you’re not unique (not to be shady, just being honest about the community experiencing the same thing). i wasn’t diagnosed until this past year and i’m 28. i’m STILL experiencing what you are feeling… but i’ve gotten over some things like the blame part. that’s all part of the process, but the people around you should want to be able to support you if you’re being honest with them. justification is a reaction and coping mechanism. you put “logic” behind emotion to explain why you would feel a certain way, but you haven’t felt the emotion to get comfortable with it. that’s where i’m at in my progress right now, so i don’t have any tips to FEEL instead of explain emotions… but it’s all a part of the process. look up “self aware therapy clients” on whatever media you lean towards. the comments are a community, and the logic will challenge you to feel. also, you don’t have to know ANYTHING about what you want to do with your life right now. if you’re not mentally ready and under motivated, hold off on college for a minute and go get internships in an outlet you might be interested in as a career. being “in the field” is the only way you’re able to decide if the path is truly for you. you have plenty of time to explore, and the idea you have to have your shit together after high school is the biggest crock of shit anyone could say to you. i’m STILL figuring it out. also, if you feel like you want to start school/college now… go to community college. get the electives out of the way (classes you have to take that aren’t relative to you major). confirm your credits will transfer to the college you ultimately want to graduate from IF you want to move from community college to a “name brand” school. i learned all of this after the fact and wasted a ton of time and money going to a school i ultimately dropped out of. i make killer money now without the degree, and could have saved myself the student loans to get here. basically what i’m trying to say is don’t force yourself into school when you’re uncertain. parents, friends, family… maybe they pressure you sometimes but ultimately you don’t need to please them, you need to take care of yourself. there’s no timeline to life that requires you to hit milestones by a certain time, and the more grace you give yourself, the more you’ll love yourself later on.