I was crying to my partner because I'm just so overwhelmed dealing with intrusive thoughts and anxiety... then something in my mind clicked and was like "you're crying and being overdramatic, you're just making this up for attention" and "I'm not real, I'm imagining existence"... and I stopped myself from crying because I felt like an imposter? Does any one else deal with one or the other? or both ☹️
I think sometimes I feel like I'm not real because all of the sudden I become hyper aware of myself and my mind says you are Teresa you are alive you are thinking these thoughts right now.
@Anonymous I get those same exact thoughts! & then I start to become hyper aware of my movements/actions… so uncomfortable
@Anonymous Yeah like sometimes I really forget who I am
@bellag & sometimes I even doubt my past/memories 🥲
@ebpink 🎀 I get you ☹️ I barely remember mine most of the time. It’s definitely not a pleasant feeling.
Yes I’ve dealt with this before. I’ve felt the whole imposter syndrome and that I didn’t really have OCD and was making it up the whole time. I remember crying and talking with my therapist about it because I felt so bad and I was told it’s something people with OCD experience fairly often. I still have those intrusive thoughts sometimes but I know it’s just my OCD making me think that way. It’s frustrating but you can get through it!
@ILikeBowling In my last session my therapist told me that some people have OCD and some people make up that they have OCD and that triggered something in me and I started to panic and cry needing answers, but I’m resisting reading up on it even though it’s left me anxious and uncertain with so many questions, but I’m going to stay strong and keep fighting the urge 🥲
@ebpink 🎀 And as uncomfortable as it may seem to sit with it and not find answers that is the best thing for you to do. You got this!
This has been one of the most consistent intrusive thoughts I have struggled with. When I am in the middle of a bad bout of intrusive thoughts, I'm feeling overwhelmed, and I get a thought that I should reach out to my partner or some other supportive person for help the thoughts immediately turn on this. They claim that I'm making it all up for attention, that it's just me being overdramatic, that everyone else manages to get along with life just fine. You're not alone in feeling like this or that reaction to seeking help. That resistance you feel does not mean you're being overdramatic or imaging your OCD, and it is good that you are seeking help for it. It's just one of those uncomfortable thoughts we need to learn to ride through.
@Anonymous Wait, they’re telling you you’re being dramatic or is that a thought you have that they think of you? & thank you, I appreciate your kind words. So, I didn’t mention it earlier but I also have depersonalization/derealization so it makes the thoughts so much more intense since my mind is “detached” from my body 🙃
@ebpink 🎀 I don't know if what I experience is depersonalization or what, but I'll share. Whenever something triggers my intrusive thoughts, I begin to stim by touching my face and whisper extremely harsh and violent things towards myself. I talk as if I'm a different person, addressing myself in the second person. So when I get the thought to myself that I want to reach out for help, I start telling myself in the second person that I'm just seeking attention and being dramatic.
@Anonymous I am not sure but definitely look into it! I am not too knowledgeable on DPDR, I just know I personally experience detachment and feeling like I’m in a video game or that everyone is fake and I’m the only one who exists, but at the same time sometimes I feel like I don’t exist. It’s complicated lol
I believe this falls into "Meta OCD", and, yes, it can be extremely destabilizing in my experience. I'm sending you support !
@coriqo Thank you!!
yes im having such an issue worrying i cheated on a night out. and im scared i’m making it up to feel better about cheating
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