faith spiral

spiraling once again. I’ve had so many life things going on I feel like I haven’t made a lot of time for God and feel like I get anxiety reading the Bible or making certain disciplines and routines for Him even tho that’s a lie from the enemy. I pray all the time and try to be Christ like and try to trust that he knows me and my thoughts which he does. But I have a hard time if He actually knows me and if I actually know HIM. And then I spiral about so many faith things I can’t control then worry I don’t know as much and I’m not truly repenting bc it’s not just feeling bad after sin and trying harder. It’s turning away but I feel like it’s the same things over and over I stumble on then I’m like well try better next time but what if I’m not actually changing. I don’t want to have worldly sorrow I want to have a heart that hurts for God but afraid I’m just loving him bc I’m afraid of Hell my other spiral. And afraid I just want blessings but I want God but I want the blessings so I can see that he is faithful and is there for me to look back on to see if I was faithful too in my prayers. There’s so many good people in my life but I never preach the gospel but so many parts in the Bible we are called to do so and what if God thinks I’m a coward and then I’m lost. Then see all the reassurance religious ocd therapists and I relate to those but then get clocked with all my struggles and other people post abt then respiral. And it’s just so hard cuz I try to go day by day and just have fun but literally don’t put a lot of effort in and do the most bare minimum and call it good but if I’m frantic and do this this and this then it’s like I’m trying to be loved by my works but our works don’t save us but they go hand in hand so it’s hard cuz I don’t wanna do it out of compulsion but need to do better in general and little devotions don’t cut it. Any one else feel similar? I like to think I’m saved but I always feel like I’m not cuz u can believe and do the things and not be. Then feel like I should be really intense Christian but then don’t wanna fall into legalism and rules but then it’s better to be super strict then go to hell. But I’m surrounded my good friends and family but what if I just water it down and I’m like oh well if they do it then it’s fine even if it’s not necessarily bad but if I’m lacking discernment

Ambs K

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: Yesterday

Hello — I’ve gotten and still get a lot of these same spirals. Therapy has helped immensely and medication took the edge off the anxiety, but there are still days the OCD is very loud. I can tell you from experience that all the researching, reassurance-seeking, buying an interlinear Bible so I could look up the Ancient Greek of verses that scared me — none of that provided long term relief. OCD always found a new angle to attack my faith from. All this to say, on this journey to recovery you will need to live with uncertainty. Everybody has to do this whether they have OCD or not as we cannot know everything, or anything to 100% certainty — it’s just harder for us OCD sufferers to tolerate that uncertainty, but we can do it. You can do it. All of this will feel so real like an actual faith crisis, but try treating it like OCD. And a reminder that helps me — it’s not about what we do or don’t do. It’s about what Jesus did for us. I try to lean on that when I have spirals about sin, etc, that we cannot do this on our own. Jesus already made the sacrifice for all of your sin. Sometimes this journey is learning to trust that.

TSulsberger

Date posted: Yesterday

Also, just a reminder. The work of your salvation was done on the cross! “it is finished!” All you have to DO is trust and God will do all the changing of your heart and mind. Be sure to ASK God to change you each day to be more like HIM. HE does the WORK! Paul had a similar struggle! Romans 7:18–19 (ESV) “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” Spend more time in the word and studying the word. This is the way God chooses to communicate with us.

G C

Date posted: Yesterday

@TSulsberger yeah how do i study the bible without spiraling? Or how can i just read it how it is without always thinking something is a sign or not understanding the right context. Cuz I know it’s not written to us but for us

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