Past Relationships

I'm so angry I don't know what to say. A "friend" of mine who I thought was my friend blocked me on instagram and un-add me on snapchat. He was my Resident Assistant in college and I loved him. I wanted to be just like him. He was one of the reasons why I wanted to be an RA. I eventually joined staff with him and I tried to get as close to him as much as I can, but he always wanted to do his own thing. After he graduated he blocked/ or un-add me on all social media. I felt hurt because I truly respected him and I wanted to be like him when I joined staff. Looking back on it, I don't think he saw me as a friend we were just co-workers and I also found about stuff he said about us saying "I hated everyone on staff" which really hurts. I told my therapist about it and she has helped me reflect on it. But sometimes I feel he still lives in my head rent free, we had so many good memories with each other on staff and I thought we were actually friend, but maybe it was all a lie. I don't know if it was or not, but I have decided I don't want to be him anymore. I decided to look up to me more and focus on what I want to achieve. Since he graduated last year, I still hear about him on the RA Staff and on campus. My Residence Director said that him and the other past RAs were asking about me which was a confusing feeling for me and made me very upset as well. They went out to dinner, I don't who brought me up, but someone did. I didn't know to feel about it and I still don't, but I am working on it. I still get angry about moments I didn't like, but never said anything about and he still pops up in my head. But I am learning to accept that and still go on about my day. Today I am frustrated and I just want to hit something or someone, but I know I am in the Driver's Seat and I can't let it take control of my emotions.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Not to be insensitive, but yes, it does sound like he wanted a more professional relationship, which is totally understandable on his part. What you’re describing sounds like normal, healthy boundaries. “Tried to get close to him as much as I can” is vague, but without knowing what that entailed, it comes off as invasive and pushy. “…he always wanted to do his own thing” sounds like him just existing and not being as much of a friend to you as you may have wanted, which he’s well within his right to not want that. The way how this is written comes off as you potentially pushing on someone’s boundaries, which then further pushed them away. I could be wrong as I don’t know the details, but this does read like you almost pushing friendship on someone who may not have wanted it. I’m glad that you are taking control over your life and not letting emotions control you. I would also encourage you to respect the boundaries of others.

Mr. A

Date posted: Yesterday

@Anonymous Yes maybe I was a little pushy and I could have respected people’s boundaries more. However, I don’t like the way how he talked behind other people’s backs. What he said was hateful, but that is on him not me. I don’t want to write this as him being a bad guy cause I am not perfect and have done things I am not proud of. I am learning to learn from my mistakes and let go. I have learned to not force relationships out of anyone and let people be. We were two different people and that’s okay. That just how life works. Thank you for your response.

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond