Reassurance seeking behaviors

So I just had my second meeting with my therapist and she said some stuff that’s kinda freaking me out. She said a huge part of ERP is learning to sit in the discomfort ( which in theory is fine) but that INCLUDES accepting that the thoughts might happen. And I’m like?!?!? NO PLEASE????? Like my ocd has latched onto stuff involving hurting others and I REALLY REALLY REALLY don’t wanna do that stuff and the idea of having to accept that it might happen as a part of ERP is making me feel physically ill. Like part of my cycle is like repeating in my head stuff like “ it’s ok, that’s just your OCD talking you are fine and you don’t actually wanna hurt anyone” Idk if I just misunderstood her or what but I’m kinda freaking out at the idea of having to stop doing that and just be like “ ah a bad thought. It’s possible I actually wanna hurt someone. But it’s ok because it’s just a thought” LIKE WTF It feels like if I accept that that stuff “ might” happen or “might” be true I might start to not be as disgusted by the idea of hurting people and I might do it. But I don’t wanna do THAT! Any advice for dealing with this stuff?

Yazzyjazz

Date posted: Yesterday

Yep. This is ocd. We all go through it, it’s hard, so so hard, but it truly is how you recover. The fact that you’re freaking out about it is proof enough that you’re ocd, your brain, whatever you want to call it, is not comfortable with it. That’s exactly the point of ERP, being uncomfortable. ERP is literally rewiring your brain by telling your ocd that thoughts are just thoughts and you can never have 100% certainty, and that’s okay. You’re teaching you’re brain how to handle uncertainty, how to feel a bit of fear but not let it control you by doing compulsions(which include reassurance seeking behaviors like “this is just ocd, I would never do that”). You’re going to feel fear from a thought, accept you have no certainty, feel uncomfortable with not having complete certainty, but continue to live and enjoy your life anyways. OCD is hard, ERP is hard, but this is how we fight back, this is how we get our lives back. It’s not easy but it will get easier, you got this and you’re not alone!

Yazzyjazz

Date posted: Yesterday

Also, and I feel like I don’t have to tell you this, but please don’t be scared to tell all this to your therapist. They of all people will understand your hesitancy with starting ERP. They will help guide you through it and make the process easier!

N111

Date posted: Yesterday

I know it sounds weird at first but I have found it to be very helpful. Our brains get so obsessed with trying not to think about intrusive thoughts and just by doing that it makes us think about it and worry more. But you have to remember, it is just a thought. A thought doesn’t define you, every thought you have had isn’t always something you agree on. It is just your brain mushing words together, and the less attention you give your intrusive thoughts the less you will think about them. When i get really bad persistent thoughts i just remind myself that it is simply a made up thing. It has no power over you, it isnt something real. its okay to acknowledge it, disagree, and move on. dont let these thoughts control you and make you feel bad, let it pass and forget about it 💗

OrchidMom

Date posted: Yesterday

The fact that you are upset about those thoughts are good. It proves that it is NOT what you want. OCD attacks the most important thing you value in life and thoughts that are the OPPOSITE OF WHAT YOU REALLY WANT pop into your head. The fact that you are upset means those thoughts are not your thoughts at all. Those thoughts are OCD’s thoughts. Sit with the discomfort and know it is not actually you making the thought. Then eventually you can ignore the OCD thoughts. Thoughts are not truth. It is just a thought.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Intrusive thoughts are just that, they are unwanted and intrusive. Intrusive thoughts attack our values, that’s why they’re so hard to sit with. I like to think about one of my fav song lyrics “there’s no such thing as bad thoughts, only your actions talk.” (Is it cheesy? Absolutely. Is it Taylor swift? Possibly. But seriously, your OCD is not YOU. It’s just something that you deal with. And honestly the strongest and kindest and gentlest people have OCD. The beginning of ERP can feel endless, but this is something everyone in it deals with. And there is a light at the end. Maybe try delaying the reassurance rather than going off of it immediately. When I delay my compulsions or reassurance I often find I don’t need them anymore. You are not alone!!

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