Wedding Memories

So I have pretty bad false memory OCD but this feels like it’s real. I got married a few weekends ago and it was so much fun. I drank more than I usually do as it was the only thing keeping me up after an hour of sleep the night before. I don’t remember all the details towards the end but know the general idea of what happened which I’m sad about because again I don’t get like that anymore. I don’t remember exactly when this memory came to mind but I know it wasn’t immediately after. I think maybe a few days to a week? Anyhow I somehow envisioned a memory of me sleeping with my husband’s friend in the bathroom. I’ve NEVER fantasized about this guy before as I barely even knew him. He was TRASHED but I somehow think we snuck into the bathroom real quick and hooked up. My husband and I both confronted trusted friends about this and they both said absolutely not but to me I’m thinking well even if we left for a minute and kissed. Idk it’s bad. Anyhow we were looking at photos from the photographer and there’s one of me hugging his friend and it’s driving me crazy and confirming everything. Like of all 150 people there’s me hugging maybe 2 people and he’s one of them?! I saw this photo after the memory. I am distressed and don’t know how to calm down.

Nl123ehe

Date posted: 22h

And one more fun addition- it actually is fun because I found out I’m pregnant!! I am so lucky it happened that fast. However I’m convincing myself it’s his and not my husbands 🙂🥲

Generiname

Date posted: 21h

It’s your OCD and it is trying to sabotage your happiness. You didnt envision a memory, because that implies it happened. You had a what if scenario and your OCD make it tangible. Try not asking friends about it because that’ll only drag you down further

Nl123ehe

Date posted: 21h

@Generiname Thank you very much. I guess the thing is I don’t know if it was like a vision (false) that started it or a what if though because I genuinely don’t remember how the thought started. Even though it was recent. That’s the hard part feeling like that means it’s real since I can’t remember how it started. And the photo. But I am not allowing myself to contact anyone else!

Generiname

Date posted: 20h

@Nl123ehe That’s OCD for you! It’ll make you feel like it’s so so real and my god it’s awful, as you know. It’ll stick to happy times like a beautiful wedding and will try to fuck with it. Take care of yourself, yeah? Treat yourself to something nice!

ocdSuupport

Date posted: 21h

False memory can feel very real. Trust me I once thought I did something bad, had to watch cctv at work to reasurence myself because I was having melt downs for months because I knew it was 100% real, when I looked, I did nothing, didn’t even move a muscle, yet I was so convinced I touched someone inappropriately! This shows how convincing ocd is!

Nl123ehe

Date posted: 21h

@ocdSuupport That does not sound fun, I’ve definitely done that before too it stinks when you feel like you hurt someone :(

Taovryou

Date posted: 21h

Remember that you love your husband very much, so sober or not you wouldn’t cheat. Also if you asked others about it and they told you no, another thing is you are acknowledging it’s a false memory. don’t feed this you have lots of great things happening right now. Congratulations and God Bless❤️

Nl123ehe

Date posted: 20h

@Taovryou Thank you, it’s true I do love him a ton. And well I feel like I say it is because it sounds crazy but it feels like it’s real and I genuinely don’t remember how the memory started which is why I’m like how is this not real because most false memories I remember it was a what if though.

Taovryou

Date posted: 20h

@Nl123ehe well 1. you would probably remember it even the next day. 2. you think a bride and friend of groom could disappear together and no one would notice? bride and groom are stars on wedding day someone is always looking at them

Nl123ehe

Date posted: 20h

@Taovryou I know it sounds crazy. I convinced myself it was end of night when most people were gone lol. But there were still others just scrambling around getting things together

Taovryou

Date posted: 20h

@Nl123ehe i’m not saying it sounds crazy, i’m actually trying to help you kind of speak of it logically, which i know is hard for us to do with OCD.

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