Existential OCD

Hi everyone, my name is Nathalia ,I’m 27 years old, and I recently joined this community because I’ve been struggling with what seems to be existential OCD. About a month ago, I had my first symptom, and since then my anxiety has centered around existential themes. I experience intrusive thoughts about time, the length of life, repetition, and the idea of “so many days ahead.” Sometimes I feel a heavy sense of being trapped in life or overwhelmed by the concept of existence continuing indefinitely. I think about it everyday and my body reacts nervous when I think about the day`s ahead. It’s not that I don’t want to live — I do — but certain abstract thoughts trigger anxiety and a strange, unreal feeling, and honestly just anxiety. Has anybody dealt with this exact theme?

777Q

Date posted: 2d

I am somewhat unfamiliar with your exact type of OCD . Wish you well though . Rest assured life is short and very far from endless . Amor Fati , Momento Mori .

Catlover99

Date posted: 2d

I’m 26 and dealing with something very similar right now. I recently just went through a break up and I think that triggered me. I’m also recently out of school and my first real adult job so that’s been tough as well. I’m hoping that this is just a rough patch for me because I’ve never really worried about this stuff before.

ioweu1999-I

Date posted: 2d

What are some of your thoughts if i may ask, it's honestly so scary for me, i get anxiety thinking about tomorrow and the upcoming days, just excisting, i think that leaving university also triggerd mine because i guess my mind has always been occupied, idk

a.lea

Date posted: Yesterday

@ioweu1999-I for me this often gets triggered on sundays because the work week is starting again and it makes me obsess about the repetitiveness of our routines and how everything feels like the same thing over and over. it sometimes feels pointless and empty. the concept of just existing freaks me out a lot too. i find myself doing a lot of research into cosmology and quantum mechanics (it is a special interest of mine and sometimes it helps alleviate this anxiety but other times it makes it worse). it's scary how much we don't know about reality and any possible afterlife. just like any other ocd themes i try to practice accepting that there are things we cannot know for sure... but it can be so scary 😓

ioweu1999-I

Date posted: Yesterday

@a.lea - Sorry for reading that, I know how horrible it feels. In my experience, it happens every day. Before going to sleep, I feel a lot of anxiety knowing there's a tomorrow. It's so strange, and you can feel very alone.

a.lea

Date posted: 2d

i've dealt with this theme for a very long time. it can be really tough because these are normal human questions and anxieties, but with ocd they can become much more pervasive and distressing. one thing that has helped me a lot is mindfulness meditation (i use headspace but there are lots of good apps out there). journaling can also be very helpful (something i wish i did more). for me personally it always helps to be reminded that i'm not the only one dealing with this specific type of anxiety because it can feel very isolating, so thank you for sharing 💖 and hopefully it will help you as well to know that you're not alone in this.

ioweu1999-I

Date posted: Yesterday

Thank you so much for sharing that, and yes, you can definitely feel very lonely. Even though I know there are other people like me, I still feel very alone. The anxiety I get thinking about the days I have left to live causes me a lot of anxiety. It's really bizarre.

Carole Mac

Date posted: Yesterday

I struggle with this theme also. Sending you support and a hug

ioweu1999-I

Date posted: Yesterday

Can you share your experience?

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

Frustrating how "rare" this one is. It isn't actually, but I think a lot of people don't see it as an OCD issue, which I think it definitely is. It's horrible to feel unreal. As someone else suggested, meditate. If you have it like me, mediation is a scary idea, as in moments of derealization you want to be distracted. You have to grow accustomed to it, which takes time. Through meditating you can slowly become open to any thoughts and feelings that pop into your head, and little by little, neutralize them. And pace yourself.

ioweu1999-I

Date posted: Yesterday

Thanks for sharing that information. How are you coping with this? You can feel very lonely... I got it out of nowhere two months ago and it's definitely awful. I mostly hear about people who are afraid of the afterlife o de*th or feel they have very little time to live, but you don't hear much about people who are afraid of existing or of all the days we have to live, or having anxiety thinking about tomorrow.

Anonymous

Date posted: Yesterday

@ioweu1999-I Mostly by interactions like this. Knowing I’m not actually alone. Also I know that it wouldn’t be any easier if I had the more common themes, except that I would have more people to relate to. Ultimately, though, that’s just seeking reassurance.

lemxn.zest

Date posted: Yesterday

hey! im 19, have been dealing with this subset of OCD since the ripe age of 13. existential OCD is a difficult subset to handle, because it centers around uncertainty, things you can't prove or know, life and the future. ideas and concepts no one has cracked. i just wanna let you know you're absolutely not alone- tons of people share this subset, and deal with the same anxieties and detatches feelingsml. that unreal sensation is called derealization/depersonalization, and it sort of comes with the subset. the good thing to know is that existential OCD CAN be treated with medication and therapy- this feeling doesn't last forever. eventually, with time and practice, you can learn to grow comfortable and sit with uncertainty. i wish you the best of luck on your recovery, if you choose to pursue it. please remember to talk to people you trust about it if you can, or even just come on here to chat. connection is extremely important with stuff like this

ioweu1999-I

Date posted: Yesterday

That's what's confusing; it's not the uncertainty, it's being hiperaware that I have to exist every single day. It's uncomfortable, and it sounds strange, I know. Even I don't understand why this came to me out of nowhere. That's my biggest fear: having this and knowing that not many people feel the same way. They usually say they're afraid of dying or that the years will pass quickly, but for me, it's the opposite.

lemxn.zest

Date posted: 23h

@ioweu1999-I oh, yeah, i get this too. it's that feeling of realizing you're a conscious being, and that there's a chance of that consciousness existing for eternity. the exhausting idea of having to think and be forever. it's definitely especially hard to deal with this, being so focused on the fact that you are someone who exists and has to breathe and feel and experience. it's definitely tiring, but i think ultimately we kinda just have to sit with it. there's not much we can do about it, y'know? so eventually our minds are gonna have to accept it somehow someway

Anonymous

Date posted: 2d

I think my son might have this. He says in school, he thinks about the huge universe and how small we are, if there’s left on other planets, if God created us and then just abandoned us…

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